Why is my daughter having fits of rage?

[Jessica1621]

My daughter is 7 and she has been having these fits of rage. Last night I told he to get ready for the tub. She started to get undressed and proceed to pull her pants down and lay on the bed. She asked me to pull them off of her and I said no I am starting the tub and getting towels just get undressed and get into the tub. She began to get mad, throwing things off of her bed and dresser since she was right there next to it. I then told her to get in the tub and she refused and ran to the other side of the bed. I had to go get her and literally pick her up and carry her to the bathtub while she was kicking and throwing her arms. I put her in the tub to rinse her off and she proceed to splash water all over me. When it was finally over and and yes I ended up yelling because it gets very frustrating to handle this all by myself especially at the end of the night. She then with her towel on started crying and saying she was rude. She always says that after words and I always tell her she is not rude, she just gets very angry. Once she cried and I hold her she is fine. She was just diagnosed with ADHD and she does take ridlen. She has just started taking it and she has had these rages before taking the meds. She only has these at home and when I tell her to do something that she does not want to do. What do I do?

[colehelpsmedically]

Diet? And toxin overload via vaccinations...

[Sandman2]

I feel for both of you.  Its the end of the day and you are both tired.  And since it is closer to her bedtime, she is probably just barely hanging on.  So things are going to happen.  Avoiding "triggers" is the first line of defense.

Specialmom has a lot of great ideas.  I wrote a very long post awhile back to a parent with an 8 year old girl with adhd who had similar problems.  So I am going to quote part of that post (I spent a lot of time on medication which I don't think yet is a problem).  I think you will find a lot of helpful info.  Here it is........
      So, after all of that.  What if its not the meds or the meds are only part of the problem.   Kids with ADHD have tons of anxiety and frustration and anger.  It comes with the ADHD.  They need to be taught how to handle this.  I know you said she was going to counseling and her psyc - but are you also there?  All the good stuff they tell her has to be practiced at home.  An 8 year old cannot hear something and decide to do it.  It takes practice.   It takes a parent who can help her notice when anger is coming on and clue her in on dealing with it - before it overcomes her.  I have some very good links on dealing with anger.
     The first link is from our Child Behavior forum.  Even though it is aimed at a 4 year old the techniques are simple and very good.   The first answer by Specialmom is the main one to read.  She has many, many good ideas.  But the other answers are also worth looking over.  I will give you two more links on anger - but I like this because the others are a bit technical and this is very practical.  
     The link is :   http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Child-Behavior/4-year-old-son/show/2423496
      The second link is from CHADD and is a bit technical, but really covers and explains the whole anger management thing.  I think you will find it dovetails nicely with the above link.   it is:http://www.chadd.org/Portals/0/AM/Images/Understading/AUG01AngerOverloadinChildren-DiagnosticandTreatmentIssues.pdf
     And the final link is from one of my favorite places for ADHD information.  Feel free to click on the topics at the top of the page for lots more info.  This link is kind of an easy overall look at what the first two said in detail.  It is: http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/42/slide-1.html
     Finally, the books I mentioned in the first link were aimed at the 4 to 7 year old crowd.  There is another set aimed at slightly older kids.  There are a couple sets of books aimed at this age group.  One is, " How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger" (Laugh And Learn). That and several more are found here - http://www.amazon.com/Take-Grrrr-Anger-Laugh-Learn/dp/1575421178/ref=pd_sim_b_7
          Another good set is the," Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays!" The Children's Anger-Control Book. That and others in the set are found here - http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Rant-Rave-Wednesdays-Anger-Control/dp/0933849540/ref=pd_sim_b_1

[specialmom]

Hi there.  This is not uncommon for ADHD kids.  As your daughter has a new diagnosis, it will take some adjusting on everyone's part.  It's hard not to get frustrated at those moments.  But here is what I try to remember.  I have a son with sensory processing disorder which is very similar to ADHD and when my son has times like that, I try to remember that it is an indication of how cruddy he feels on the inside.  His nervous system is not regulated at that moment.  He's not doing it on purpose.  He just doesn't feel 'right'.  Giving choices at that moment is helpful.  Whatever the choice can be (take your clothes off here or in the bathroom, take your clothes off now or really fast in a few minutes, etc.).  It probably sounds silly but that little bit of control helps kids feel better about doing something we want them too.  And just remaining calm and understand that she feels all balled up inside, tightly wound.  She is reacting.  It doesn't mean you put up with the behavior but in the moment is not the time to correct it.  After it is over, you talk about how she can communicate with you and what she CAN do.  She can use her words to tell you she is just feeling yucky and having trouble getting undressed, she can hit her pillow, etc.  You can get a sensory clock that counts down with a red mark that gets smaller and smaller as the time to do something nears. This way they visually see that time is happening and they need to be undressed before there is no red.  Teach her to cope when she feels that way and guide her on what IS allowed and NOT allowed.  good luck

PS:  ADHD responds very well to not only medicine but throw in some physical exercise as well too.  The more she has, the better she will feel.  good luck

[Summer1082]

Oppositional defiance disorder Google it