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accused boyfriend wants to prove innocence
my live in girlfriends 4 year old daughter has told her mom i hit her.I have no idea where this is coming from.i think we have a good relationship with the child.she loves to learn things about tools wich i have fun showing her plus she is a bundle of love and joy to my heart.when you come home and your girlfriend barely ackknowledges you but her daughter is all smiles and hugs and calls out your name like you just won the lotto it warms your soul.I was raised by parents who never hit me now im not saying its right or wrong but the girls mom was raised with love but with the belt to keep her in line.we agreed in the beginning mom would do the discipline and im ok with that.the daughter has been disciplined the way her mom was.im not saying mom is abusive.the mom has gotten into phsyical altercations wich the chilkd has a front row seat for with at least two people i know of where punches were thrown by mom,and she has punched me in front of her.i have never hit a women or a child in my life.now my girlfriend is calling me a liar and has made threats.i need suggestions on proving innocence whether we stay together or not i want her to realize the truth.my heart goes out to moms who here this from there child the trust can be destroyed.why would the child lie.somtimes i think its because mom is so socialble that the chid cant get the attention she wants but with a grandstand story especially if mom is mad at me the child could pick up on that anger.my thoughts were to get some sort of counseling for her and see what she tells the therapist.i am also willing to take a lie detector test.my girlfriend says that shows im guilty for even thinking this way.i say i pass it you can just use it as evidence im innocent, not proof of anything. when the therapist says im innocent its more evidence.im hoping the therapist would asertain the truth.what can i do to put out the flames of a fire bound to have lasting negative affects on all involved ?????.
PS I know this part if going to be super hard for you, given how close it sounds like you once were with this little girl, but no matter how things work out-- even if your girlfriend ultimately believes you and/or the kid confesses-- DO NOT SPEND ANY MORE TIME ALONE WITH HER!!! EVER!!! As someone else already said, she might decide to accuse you of molestation next. Make sure there is at least one other person around every time you are with her from here on out!!!
So it sounds like they are still living with you? Since you said they live in your house and you don't want to evict them?
Sounds to me like your girlfriend KNOWS the kid is lying. If she believed it, and truly loved her kid, she would have moved out ASAP.
I would try to just have one final, honest conversation with the girlfriend-- and maybe the child herself should be present, I'm less certain about that, maybe two conversations?-- and tell her/them, Look, I didn't do this horrible thing, never would, but if you truly believe I did and that I might do it again, then you should leave. This way you're not evicting them so much as challenging your girlfriend to take a true stand rather than making idle threats while decidedly NOT doing what I think most women would do if they believed something like this had happened.
Good luck!
Sounds to me like your girlfriend KNOWS the kid is lying. If she believed it, and truly loved her kid, she would have moved out ASAP.
I would try to just have one final, honest conversation with the girlfriend-- and maybe the child herself should be present, I'm less certain about that, maybe two conversations?-- and tell her/them, Look, I didn't do this horrible thing, never would, but if you truly believe I did and that I might do it again, then you should leave. This way you're not evicting them so much as challenging your girlfriend to take a true stand rather than making idle threats while decidedly NOT doing what I think most women would do if they believed something like this had happened.
Good luck!
kids lie.
it's what they do.
my daughter was around 3-4 when she first told my mother I pushed her down. My mom lost her s.h.i.t. on me, and I assured her I never once pushed her, joking if I did, there would CLEARLY be physical marks on her.
Anyways, long story short, a few days later when Riley was at grandma's, my mom called and told me she had come up to her and said 'grandma, WHY did you do that?', confused my mom asked 'do what?' she replied, 'you hit me!' and she was like, wtf. no I didn't.
then, a few weeks later, I was picking her up from my moms and she was across the room from me, my mom was in the living room, and Riley yelled out randomly 'you just pushed me!' and we both (me and my mom) stared at eachother, realizing we were both nowhere NEAR her...
She bit another kid at school, and 4 people witnessed it. She still denies it.
Kids are liars, lol. They're awesome, but they're liars. Every parent knows that, and it seems like she (your gf) is almost using this as her 'out'.
it's what they do.
my daughter was around 3-4 when she first told my mother I pushed her down. My mom lost her s.h.i.t. on me, and I assured her I never once pushed her, joking if I did, there would CLEARLY be physical marks on her.
Anyways, long story short, a few days later when Riley was at grandma's, my mom called and told me she had come up to her and said 'grandma, WHY did you do that?', confused my mom asked 'do what?' she replied, 'you hit me!' and she was like, wtf. no I didn't.
then, a few weeks later, I was picking her up from my moms and she was across the room from me, my mom was in the living room, and Riley yelled out randomly 'you just pushed me!' and we both (me and my mom) stared at eachother, realizing we were both nowhere NEAR her...
She bit another kid at school, and 4 people witnessed it. She still denies it.
Kids are liars, lol. They're awesome, but they're liars. Every parent knows that, and it seems like she (your gf) is almost using this as her 'out'.
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Get up, and walk out and don't look back. This child is DANGEROUS to you, and the next thing she might say is that you are molesting her and your life will be over.