childs aggression

[matt420]

Our soon to be four year old son can't seem to help himself from continually hitting his sister one year old sister.  Our son is a bright young boy who seems to understand basically everything that is explained to him.  He doesn't lack any attention from either parents and gets plenty of attention from his grandparents and other family members on a daily basis.  I might even say he is somewhat spoiled with attention and gifts.  The main problem we seem to be having with him is that he can't stop hitting, tripping, and is unable to share with his younger sister who just turned one.  This has been an issue ever since my daughter has been 9 months and began walking.  We have given him timeouts, yelled, and taken away toys at times.  Nothing seems to help.  I have sat down and spoken with him about hitting and he seems to understand what I am saying, or at least I think he does.  However, nothing seems to help.  Our biggest fear is that he is going to accidently hurt his sister or somebody else.  He also just started pre-k this past week and the teacher told us that he couldn't keep his hands to himself.   I forgot to mention earlier that our son is very outgoing and is always looking to make new friends.  I just think he feels it's ok to put his hands on other kids because all his older cousins and relatives fool around with him and wrestle.  I'm not sure if he feels he needs to wrestle around, pinch or gently hit other kids in order for him to become friends with them, because thas what he's done in the past with his cousins?   Any light you can shed on the subject is greatly appreciated. thanks  

[jdtm]

Your first sentence says it all. Have you spoken to your son's pediatrician about this behaviour and your son's lack of impulse control?  It would be nice if "talking" to him would work; but sometimes it does not.  Some children need more help than "words".  I wish you the best ...

[margypops]

You hit the Nail on the head, cut out the wrestling it definatly makes boys act up, he is being taught it is okay to fight and wrestle and then you all expect him not to do it at school or with his sister, you are sending him mixed messages. It wont change till you stop this behavior and you will spend years yelling ,when it is this that is causing it and they are always older children doing to teasing and wrestling. , Dont blame him and really you should let the Teacher know that older children are allowed to wrestle with him, I expect she will also realise it isnt his fault.