gender identity

[mvettelov]

My granddaughter was sexually molested as a very young child, she is 15 and is showing signs of gay behavior she has always been a tomboy but I see her struggling with her sexual identity, she was dressing with girl tops for a short time but now has changed to wearing all large men tee shirts. As she started to develop she would always wear double tee shirts. she is also hanging around girls that are gay. My question is could this be a result from her being molested as a child or is gay a choice?

From a Concerned Grandmother

[April2]

I see this time and time again. Many, many people who say their gay have been molested or sexually abused somehow in their past. I think there's a strong connection. If you're interested I can give you the name of a book of a young lady who had this happen to her and her journey into the homosexual lifestyle for many years before coming out and realizing she really was not gay. I personally know of another person who had the same experience and I've read a lot and seen a lot that seems to suggest that past sexual abuse has a lot to do with gender confusion and their sexual identity.

[Sandman2]

I substitute teach at a large high school.  It seems like half the girls there wear nothing but jeans and a sweatshirt everyday.  It may just be the clothing style for now.  I also kinda wonder how you know that the girls she hangs around with are gay?  And even if they are - so what?

[Angelinthemorning]

My personal opinion...she could just be uncomfortable with her body and have insecurities.  That would explain covering them up.  I was always a tomboy and always double layered sport bras.  I'm not gay, I'm happily married to a male.  I really don't think the abuse would "make" her gay.  She may naturally shy away from boys b/c of the abuse, but, that wouldn't make her like girls in a sexual way.  You said she was a very young child...how young??  Does she even remember the abuse?  If you're worried about the abuse affecting her, I would suggest she get into some counseling.  Being a survivor of abuse, it would have made a huge difference in my life had I gone to counseling at a younger age.