help!!! 7 year old problem.

[blashey]

ive read some of the questions posed about 7 year olds and mine will probably sound trivial in comparison
my son is 7 nearly 8 and most of the time an angel but when he gets told to do something ie go to bed or come in from out playing he blatantly says NO and argues with me and my wife then starts crying.
Infant of diabetic mother
if he doesn't get his own way or keeps rhyming constantly or storms of in a huff for what we have told him he cant do or is not allowed.
sometimes his behaviour is what you expect from a 3-4 year old especially when he blurts out he wants to leave home or as he said to my wife last night "i'm fed up with you I want a new mummy".
he's our only child.
and before you think the obvious he is not spoilt being an only child as even to me being his father it looks like that but there's not much money in our household so spoiling him is not the problem.
if he doesn't get his own way he can be heard upstairs making raging noises then 1 minute after calming down he wants a hug as if looking forgiveness?

is he still holding on to his baby/toddler ways and wont grow up????

we have tried taking things of him that matter till he behaves but to no avail


any advice would be appreciated

thank you

[Ione]

Hello.  I am a parent of a seven year old bipolar child (boy) whom we adopted at birth.  He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder just before his sixth birthday.  He exhibited some other strange behaviors but also mood swings and problems with NO.  Please consult a behavioral specialist if you feel you can't handle it alone.  Not saying your child needs medication--by all means try everything else first.  There is an excellent book called Parenting the Defiant Child by Dr. Kadzin at Yale University, which we have found helpful.  Good luck.

[SuziB]

So, you have discovered that negative attention doesn't work well as a discipline method! Stop taking things away from him!
If you want him to do the right thing, positive attention is the way to go. When he does the right thing, reward, reward, reward. I don't mean stuff him full of candy, but it takes a surprisingly short time for a child who is told how happy it makes you feel when he comes in first time you call, how pleased you are at how patient he is being etc etc. for them to get the message that it feels really good to be basking in the glow of parental adoration. It always, always feels better to be given a pat on the back for doing the right thing than a bawling at for doing wrong. Children are hardwired to want positive attention, but they'll take the negative attention if that is all that comes their way. You have a kid you say is an angel most of the time, so you just have to polish the rough edges a bit!