Misbehaving

[lilday50]

I have a grand daughter who is six and has just begun the school year. She has already been in trouble twice by kicking the teacher and having a tantrum. We are at a lost of what to do. She gets a little spanking, but to know avail. I told my son that she needs to be tested because I know something is wrong and it is not natural the way she acts.

[coryreply719]

Hi there. The others have raised some great questions. There are so many things that could be contributing to her behavior. We're looking for a possible trigger.

Does she and your son live in the same house as you?

[Sandman2]

   Yes, you need to know what is going on.  I would assume that she is in 1st grade.  Did she have these problems in Kindergarten?
   I agree with the above.  Spanking will not work and could possibly only make the matters worse.   Parental contact with the teacher is important.  More importantly might be a visit by you or the parents to observe what is going on at school.  There is also the chance that in two or three days all of this will blow over.  But here again, its a good reason to keep in contact with the teacher.

[MarkLakewood3367]

The discipline you implement needs to be more effective.  Spankings only encourage violent acting out behavior.  You need to avoid any physical discipline as your grand daughter will learn to use violence as a means of resolving conflicts.  Does she get disciplined at school?  If so, how?

[jemma116]

It is very worry, and I do sympathise.

Is this behaviour only just happening at school? Or is she exhibiting tantrums at home too?

If there has been a new addition to the family, a new baby sister or brother or there are young siblings that are at home, this could be the reason for the resentment of being at school.  

Try and talk to her when you are interacting with her on other tasks, about whether she likes school, what its like, what she does, who she plays with and so on,  to try and find out from her what is going on and her perception of things.

Please do not spank her.  This is giving her wrong messages by saying that it is OK to be physical to someone.  

You still need to be firm and say that this sort of behaviour is unacceptable, but you also do need to find out what is causing this, especially if she has never done this before at school or in other environments.

You need to find out why she is doing this.  Time out and losing privileges like not being to watch her favourite TV programme, for example, is likely to have more impact.

It is highly likely that she just may feel frustrated and is not able to communicate with the teacher to express how she feels.

Ask the parents to find out from the teacher (the school may not speak with you) to find out how she is getting on and interacting in general whilst she is at school.

If the situation cannot be resolved and she continues to do this, then a child psychologist may be of help.

Best of luck.