my 6 yr old has a gender identity crisis

[feeling guilty]

my 6 yr old son has insisted that he is a girl since he was able to talk. As far back as I can remember he always plays with only girls toys i.e. barbie dolls. He used to dress up in my clothes and wear my shoes. But since I've had my daughter he dresses up with her and only plays with her. He has a brother that is 9 yrs old but their so unalike that they don't really play together. He tells me that he thinks he is really a girl but that he only looks like a boy. He knows he's a boy and he hates it. He hides the way he is around other people that don't understand or make fun of him. When he plays dress up he dresses like a princess but if there is a knock at my door he runs and takes the outfit off so that no one sees him. I don't incourage his behavior but I don't tell him that it is wrong either I think he should be who he is. And only incourage him to be himself. I think I'm doing the right thing my family and friends think I should push Masculine toys and make him do boy things i.e. sports. I suggest things to him but he doesn't want to do them. I don't want my son to feel ashamed of himself or feel like he's bad for being like he is. I feel bad because people make fun of him and he knows. Of course they don't say things in front of me but he knows he's different from the other kids. Any advice?

[bethymay]

This may sound strange, but I think you need to have a medical evaluation to see if your child IS really a boy.  I have heard of children being born with BOTH sets of genitals, but since the male genitalia was visible, everyone just assumed the child was male, but it was actually female when you looked at chromosomes. The child also had a uterus and ovaries.  After having been raised as a boy, the person started living as a woman when she got old enough to chose her own way.  She had the penis removed surgically, and lived happily ever after as they say.  If the child is insisting he is a girl, and has always been this way, I would definitely have it checked out!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are adopting a sensible and understanding approach to your son, and he does require the sort of sensitive management that you are displaying. It would be wise to seek the involvement of a pediatric mental health clinician, who can help to flesh out your son's perceptions about gender-related matters. One of the keys is to determine if, as a male, he experiences overt disadvantages (from his perspective) to being male and, in a similar vein, overt advantages to being female. The clinician can also offer you some ongoing advice about how to manage this difficult situation as a parent.