my 9yr old talked his 5yr old cousin

[phoobie]

my 9yr old son talked his 5yr old cousin into taking her painties off because he though it would be funny. then he said it would b funny if she sat on his head. I am so disguested and disturbed. I grew up being abused by an older cousin and this brings bak so many very bad memories. I think this is the first time and an isolated incident. He didn't actually get caught he felt bad and told on himself, which im very glad he did. He is embarressed and feels shame for what he did but I don't know how to explain to him how wrong it really was. He needs to know that because he is older he really did take advantage of her. And he needs to know that this could be something that comes into play in her life as she gets older in a very big way. I do not know how to explain any of this to him in an appropiate way. I immediatly go bak to being a scared lil girl and I am terrified he will become a monster like my older cousin was and is.  Please help me!

[babygirlbb]

parenting varies from parent to parent and there is never a wrong way to parent in my opinion... I know this may sound stupid but it has helped with other parents... google how you can talk to your child about this situation so he can better understand it... i know it can be horrified for you, but he does need to know that it isnt right and could really mess with his life and the girls life.. i hope this helps you and good luck to you

[margypops]

What ahs the parents of the 5 year old to say about it, i think you are right to be concerned and definatly he has to know he cannot behave like this with a younger innocent child , i would certainly ground him there has to be some repercussions for him to see the seriousness of it..indeed it could be a isolated incident I would make sure he is not alone with younger children again ...you could ask a counsellor what they think ...