my stepson

[drisdale]

my stepson is seven years old and likes to and finds it funny to trip me over he,s done it nearly every day so far and he back chats swears at me and is generally rude and naughty. he also takes things that belong to me and throws them away and hides his half brothers belongings  i,ve tried everything to cope with this can anyone suggest anything

[RockRose]

It sounds like you could all use family counseling.  I'm also very interested in what his dad has to say about this and whether he has any success in getting good behavior.

I agree with SM's concerns that he has had a change in living circumstances with his mother.  His age is particularly vulnerable to feeling VERY hurt if he is abandoned by a parent.  This is a life changer for him - to go from living with Mom to living with Dad and his new family.  Some kids appear to adjust well,  others feel homeless and abandoned.  It sounds like he feels a bit homeless and is doing whatever he can to strike back.

So.   Can you fill us in on how Dad is reacting?

[specialmom]

So, what does his dad say about this?  And, I worry that he's NOW with you which means he isn't with his mom anymore?  So, he's kind of an abandoned kid?  That definitely leads to acting out.  

What role does the father play in discipline/consequences?

[drisdale]

he,s my stepson and has been living with me and his dad for the last six months we set him boundaries and have tried everything from timeouts to sittting on a chair for an alloted time to stopping him playing on the computer and the wii but it just doesnt work he is rude and when i say trip he will wait until my back is turned ie doing the washing and will come up behind me and trip me over as i turn round and as for the other lady i appreciate your comments but my age has nothing to do with anything and i posted on here for advice not abuse

[RockRose]

I'm assuming "trip me over" means "trip me" and doesn't have a separate meaning like defiance or disrespect.  I'd stop that tripping thing right away,  no matter how harshly you have to deal with that.  He could cause you to break a wrist or hip or worse,  a concussion.

Secondly,   I don't understand the dynamic.  If you've got a child with your husband,  you've been with him at least a year.  Has the 7 year old just now moved in with you?  You say "he's done it nearly every day so far" so it sounds like you're talking about living with him in terms of days,  not years.

Can you flesh out the history a little better?

[specialmom]

I agree that there is a key element missing from your story.  where is his dad?  What does his dad do in terms of setting boundaries?  How can a child keep tripping you over and over?  I generally try to outsmart my kids and have found it pretty easy to do to 10 year olds.  


What types of consequences do you have in place?  how often is he with you?  etc.  

[lisaob1]

hi there..i know it must feel hard for you right now..but I do have to say it how I read it...number 1-(he is 7) 2-(your his stepmum) 3-(not a nice thing to ask..but.how old are you if you suffering ailments?)....4-(you didn't ONCE mention the father) 5-(going back to number 1.....HE IS 7)....7 years of age..do me a favour love??
pathetic pathetic pathetic what you got to say to that....dying for a response from you right now

[MarkLakewood3367]

I think that you need to elaborate more on:

"i,ve tried everything to cope with this"

It is hard to advise you unless you share what exactly you have tried.  It is obvious that your 7 year old requires discipline.  Timeouts would be an effective form of discipline for his age.  Again, unless you share what you tried, it is difficult to give you advice.

[drisdale]

i forgot to add i suffer from arthritis of the spine and he finds it funny when im in pain