shud i go for a second child..................

[stan24]

hi friends,
i m a 29 yr old house wife, my son is 4 yrs old now, i dont know, shud we have a second child or not.actually my previous exp. was not very good, i had  a c-section delivery and i dont want to go in those pregnancy n delivery problems once again.and the other reason is financial....here money is not a problem but some how i feel that after having second kid the expenditure will become much higher.
but some of friends adviced me to have atleast two kids for the sake of my son, otherwise he will feel lonely for his entire childhood.i m very confused, what shud i do?
plz advice.............

[althepal39]

Well, I don't think of it as giving the 2nd one a "job"  - it just really does round out the family.  Then the kids have each other (- to complain about the parents to! LOL!!!!)   A sibling relationship is a special relationship that you can't have with anyone else - even best friends.  It's just something that I wish I had given my son and I do regret.  but you are right that it shouldn't be the only reason..  I guess it is a very  personal decision..  

[nis123]

I have 3 girls....all i had through c-sections. After 4 years you have a good chance of having a normal delivery if you want. I tried with my second...but it didn't work out. Don't have a second if you really don't want to...only if you have that feeling that you do want to. Children should not be born with a job. Its a personal choice and you do what you feel is best for your situation. Good luck!

[rilbrianne]

I have 2 girls, 4 and 1.  Both were unplanned - but I'm perfectly happy with them both.  It's a great age difference.. BUT, I don't think you should have another child so that your 4 yr old isn't lonely.  Unless you feel an emotionally strong feeling to have another, don't.  You don't sound very confident that you want another child and that there are physical problems keeping you from doing so... you almost sound like you could go without more children but since others advised that you "should" have more, you don't know what to do.  

If you feel strongly that your life would be much happier with another, go for it.  But if you are doing it for your other child or to accommodate your friends' advice, DON'T.  

Your son will make friends in a year or so when he goes to school.  Problem solved.  You ache for more children - problem not solved.

[treazzure007]

2 children is ideal b/c they will have each other and, in the event one became ill or passed in some way or moved across the globe, you would stand a chance of still having one remain close to you

[stan24]

thank a lot for ur valuable advice.......

[althepal39]

I'm not sure what kind of pregnancy and delivery problems you had - but if they weren't too horrible - I'd say definitely try to have another child.   I have one 10 year old child and I regret that I didn't have another child sooner.   It is so much nicer for them - they don't feel so alone - and they are not as spoiled I think. I felt the same way as you - I had a C-section, a bit of post partum depression after the delivery, and my son was VERY colic, we didn't have a lot of money at the  time- it was rough.. but I wish I had done it.