what should I do

[liljamie]

I just found out my 10 year old son made a video about shooting up a school he goes into detail showing what to use as he puts the items into his backpack" nerf guns toys not the real thing". someone saw the video and reported it to the police and and the police went to the school and  found nothing in his backpack so when asked why he made the video he said because his friend made one first. the police decide to not prusuee it any further leave it up to the parents on what to do I guess. after looking into his web history  my son has been watching videos on YouTube about the colombine and Sandy hook school shootings. and he has continued to watch the videos after the school incident. He is also very disrespectful to myself and his siblings. He doesn't take school serious. I don't want to rush into thinking my son is homicidal but all the signs are pointing to yes. Please help me

[Sandman2]

Oh, I just saw your answer to Specialmom about him just moving in with you.  Is this also then a new school for him?  Because if it is, its really tough on a child of this age to switch schools.

[Sandman2]

No, all the signs do NOT point to him being homicidal.  But they do point to him possibly being very frustrated with school.  I see that all the time with kids with ADHD (my other CL role over here https://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175).

You need to go to school and talk with his teachers and get their feedback.   Does he have trouble concentrating?  Does he lash out without thinking?  Does he have trouble with homework? There are a lot of questions I could ask and a lot of information I can give.  But you really need to start at school.  And I would also talk to last years teacher.

By the way, it is not unusual for boys of this age (and older) to draw very graphic pictures of violence (like tanks shooting people, monsters, etc.)  Putting that into video form is now the new thing.  And he sounds like a fairly sharp kid to make his own video at his age!   It also possible that he is just really bored with school.  Having been involved  as a teacher and principal for a ton of years, I have seen both types of kids - the bored, intelligent and the adhd intelligent kid.  So ya, you really need to talk with his teachers.  Please get back to me if you have any questions about any of this, or after you have talked with his teachers.  Either here or on the adhd site.  Good luck

[specialmom]

Your child is young.  So very young.  What do you think the fascination is?  What does your child say when you talk to them about it?  I'd maybe consider a therapist.  

Also, talk to him about the dangers of pretending that he might do something heinous.  Fake guns look real these days.  

So, to me, this is a time for strong dialogue.  Remember, that a serial killer has mental health problems.  Your son would be showing other signs of that.  Does he have friends, for example?  

[liljamie]

He has a few friends he just moved in with me and have to start all over. one of the friends is one that he said he copied the video from

[specialmom]

So, you don't know these kids or families of these kids.  At 10, I was still pretty active with my boys social life.  I'd plan something where you do something with them and observe.  Have play time at your house.  That kind of thing.  

So, you've just got custody back or something?  Where was he previous to that?  Can you talk to them (where he was at) about behaviors and things that went on in the home. I'd do it casually.  Start spending time doing productive, fun and innocent things with him.  Nerf guns are all the rage but talk about the dangers of guns as well.  And if he knows about Sandy Hook, talk about how devastated the families of the lost children were.  That it ruined lives and is so sad because those young kids never had a future to live out.  Talk about consequences.  

Begin also looking for other signs if you feel he may be antisocial or psychotic.  There will be signs.  A therapist may be helpful. Especially if he is also adjusting to a major life change such as switching guardianship/households.  He needs a strong sense of stability after that and talking to a professional child psychologist may be helpful.  Also, don't be afraid to have the school counselor work with him.  

Get him into activities.  Scouts are great at that age.  Sports.  Swim lessons.  School band, orchestra or choir.  Church groups.  etc.  So much available for kids these days and connected kids are less likely to have significant issues.

[specialmom]

By the way, being attracted to guns is something common and pretty normal for boys.   Kids have been playing cowboys and Indians and cops and robbers for eons.  I have two boys and nerf guns are very popular.  Air soft is popular too for slightly older, middle school age boys.  Shooting strategy games are common video game material.  When I was a kid, I like the arcade game -Area 51- (shooting game which probably dates me that this was my favorite arcade game growing up) But knowing real life from fake is important.  Knowing real danger of weapons is essential.  And this is a big area I'd make clear to him and discuss thoroughly.  My boys also are boy scouts and have had merit badge training on guns and gun safety.  We don't own a gun but my kids know about the dangers of them and how to properly handle them.  so, just food for thought.

Anyway, I hope you sort this out.  Let me know how it is going!

[Mama_12345]

I really don't know how to answer this question but I blame alot on the INTERNET! THE PHONE!! Kids shouldn't have phones or the internet. Their being brainwashed!! Its the deviilll!!  Try going to sunday school or attend church.