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chlamydia in a marriage

I've read a few forrums & SEVERAL websites. I've talked to my doctors & received counceling from my pastor. I've been with my husband for 6 yrs. November of 2007 I had a pap smear and tested negative for all std's. My husband tested postive for Chlamydia this month after having symptoms. I didn't have any symptoms but still got tested & it came up positive. We both got treated & retested & are clean. My question is, he swears heaven & earth, left & right, over his children & mom that he wasn't unfaithful but everything says the only way is thru sex. He said, he had it 7yrs ago & maybe it wasn't treated correctly & it just flarred up but I know that's not possible because I tested negative in November and since then we had a daughter & I've been tested during my pregnancy. My question is, in fishing for other possible answers? I had a real bad stomache virus in December-January that my husband caught too. It caused vomitting & diaharrea. During that time, for the 1st time after a few drinks my husband was a bit more adventurous in our sex and started with anal sex 1st and then proceeded to finish in vaginal sex. Could the stomach virus in conjuction with this may have given us Chlamydia instead of a 3rd party. I want to believe he has been faithful and apparently this is killing him because I am feeling insecure about our relationship. He swears there are other cases he has shown me where other couples also don't know where it came from but I am only concern about mine.
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207091 tn?1337709493
Had you ever had anal sex before?  The ONLY possibility - and its a total stretch - is that you had it anally, and just never knew it.  However, I would seriously doubt that you had it anally for 6 or 7 years without knowing it.  

If you hadn't had anal before, than that blows that theory.

In any case, one of you would still have had to have been infected by someone else.  Chlamydia is a specific bacteria, and like the cold or the flu, it doesn't just appear - you have to have a source for the infection.

AJ
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Avatar universal
No, I haven't. That was a first and there's been a lot of first with him so I didn't mind experimenting with him. He also had a colonoscopy during this time. He had back surgery & I had lipo with a breast augmentation. Could any of these procedures have introduced the bacteria? I know, I am grasping at straws and my gut says that if there isn't any other answers but sexual contamination that he is just bold face lieing to me. It's hard to swallow such a thought since there hasn't been anything really off or strange in our relationship but I could be wrong.
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207091 tn?1337709493
No, the ONLY way to get it is sex.

I'm sorry.  :(

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Avatar universal
I was afraid of the same answers. Life *****. I don't know what else to do. He swears that he wasn't unfaithful and for him to just make-up a story otherwise would be just unjust and truly dishonest. I can't even produce tears anymore. I can't pray anymore. I just don't know what to do. This has just torn me apart and he says he feels helpless without explanation or resolution. I wish this never came up because things were perfect before this damn std. Now I can't even function or get anything done.
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Avatar universal
Bless your heart...http://www.****.***  chlamydia can lie dormant and even evade tests according to the above post.  Maybe this will help.  BTW anal sex in never a good idea...even if you are married.  I said a prayer for you...hang in there.  Also, it is possible it was contracted from the instruments at the medical facility-it happened to my mom.
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207091 tn?1337709493
Chlamydia can't lie dormant - I sincerely wish it could have.

I'd like to be able to say with 100% certainty that you couldn't get it from medical instruments, but then people would just point out times that people get infections in the hospital, etc.  It could happen.

All I can tell you is go with your gut.  You know him, you know your marriage.  We don't.  

Aj
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My eyes are bloodshot this morning. I have spent several hours suffering over this. I talked again with him and he swears he wasn't unfaithful. He doesn't see how it can't be contracted any other way but thru sex. He wishes he could give me an answer but he is looking for one too. What does my gut say. My gut says, I love him but if I believe that this was some immaculate conception then I would have to be stupid. I don't believe he is having an affair. He doesn't have time, he works, comes straight home & always spends his time with me and the children. I think it was an isolated event based on the facts that it can only have been brought in from a 3rd party. I wish there was more information about this desease then the repetative 1+2=chlamydia. I don't know where to get help anymore without being told indirectly that I'm being stupid thinking it was contracted any other way then thru sex. I don't know if I can move on, not knowing the truth. My eyes hurt, they are burning & my body aches. I'm so tired. I wish this never happened, everything was fine and now everything is a mess. Thank you for your words & time.
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207091 tn?1337709493
Can I suggest marriage counseling?  Or at least counseling for you before you make any decision?

Take care,
Aj
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Avatar universal
I've been going to my pastor by myself and I don't want to drag him to a counselor if he won't make the effort on his own. I've been down this road before and all he wants to do is move on and get back to how things were before but I want to know where it came from. If he did cheat on me, even once. If he made up his mind not to tell me, then there is no one in the world that can change his mind. He only opens up, when he see's his hand his forced. If something is going to prove that he was withholding some truth. Otherwise, he bottles up. If he truly cheated on me and he loved me, then he would tell me the truth and not let me suffer like this and I don't think anyone can convince him to do differently unless thru hypnosis. I love him and I'd be willing to work things out but with the truth and the not knowing is killing me. What if he is telling the truth but then how long would I have to wait for science to change history and fix my shattered marriage? Love isn't enough to sustain a marriage, you need respect and honesty too. Thanks for checking in on me. It's so greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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207091 tn?1337709493
Aww it sounds as if there have been some other issues before this.  I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time.

Take care,
Aj
Helpful - 0

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