what the heck is wrong with me?

[timesnewramen]

so... here i am. to get the basics out of the way, i’m an 18 year old girl, 5’4”, 110 pounds. i don’t take any medication aside from the occasional tylenol or zyrtec.

i have a lot of weird symptoms. chest pains, pain in my lymph nodes under the arms, horrible fatige (my legs often start shaking so bad from very minor physical activity that i have to sit down), i’m always pale and shaky. my hands are always sweating and i get drenching night sweats that started in april but are only increasing in frequency. a weird pressure in my head, horrible head rushes that make my skull tingle; my gums have deteriorated despite my oral hygeine not changing. i’m bruising in places i know i received no more than a poke or a light nudge. i get this weird rash on my chest or legs that goes away quickly. my joints hurt, mainly in my arms; my bones hurt, both my wrists and my collarbones (the right is worse), my hipbones too but only in the back. i can never catch my breath and i lose it easily, just from walking to the bathroom (maybe 10 steps from my room) i’m often left out of breath. sometimes my whole body starts shaking really badly, other times i have this weird fuzzy feeling all through my abdomen and head. i often feel dizzy and faint.

as for bloodwork, everything was okay for the most part... my MPV and potassium were slightly low, monocytes were slightly high, and my ketones were through the roof (4mmol) despite me eating a very carb heavy diet. my weight has stayed the same but i’m definitely losing weight as i look at least 5 pounds lighter.

i had two chest x-rays. they were okay. i had an ultrasound on a painful lymph node under my arm, it was okay. i had another ultrasound of my abdomen, and i had a 4mm kidney stone, but i got a CAT scan of my abdomen a week later and it was gone when i’m certain i didn’t pass it. i’m getting an ultrasound of a thyroid nodule on my right side on friday, and a brain MRI the same day.  

i was tested for hyperthyroidism. my thyroid function was normal. i was tested for cat scratch fever. it was negative. i’m being tested for type 1 diabetes on thursday for my ketones being so high, but my blood sugar is perfectly fine whenever it’s checked so who knows. i’m being tested for lupus even though the description of that doesn’t seem to match (i don’t have anemia, by the way, despite the easy bruising).

i’m constantly so tired. i’m 18- i’m a healthy weight, i eat enough, i eat healthy. i used to exercise but since this started i’m far too fatigued to do much at all. all i can comfortably do is lay in bed but even that can be exhausting. i can’t sleep well anymore because i’m scared i won’t wake up, so i end up falling asleep late and waking up late. i do tend to sleep a solid 8 hours on average, but that’s cut off at some point almost every night from waking up so soaked in sweat i need to change all my clothes despite the fact i’m shivering...

i’m just at a loss. i hate going to the doctor because of bad experiences in the past, but this scares me so much that i’ve sucked it up. i’ve been really sick in the past and still refused to see a doctor. but this is different. this is worse. i’ve never felt so bad for so long, and it seems to get worse every day. i also run a fever at least once a day, ranging from 99.7-100.4- prior to this i hadn’t had a fever in four years, and even that was barely 100.

i’m scared, my whole body feels wrong. i genuinely feel like i’m dying and every time another test comes back showing nothing i want to cry because i know something is wrong, i can feel it, and it just feels like we’re wasting time.