My beautiful baby girl crossed a rainbow bridge

[Totomommy]

Hi Tony,not sure you would remember my dog, but I joined this forum last April when my Toto was diagnosed with kidney failure stage 03. You had given me so much support and advice which I still greatly appreciate it.

We have managed it very for over one year and 4 mts. She made it her 15th birthday this August and had a regular check every 4 weeks.

On September 1st, she seemed very low and started vomiting so we took her to an emergency. She came back feeling better but next day she really wasn't doing well so we admitted her to the emergency again. After radiologist examined her, they suspected pancreatitis.. as she was in so much pain and fluid started to build up, she was transferred to an icu. I visited her everyday with my husband.. on Sep 4th, I went to visit her and she was so off that I subconsciously knew something wasn't going well. That night we visited her again at 10 30 pm and she just opened her eyes only once when I called her. We came on and at 1 25am we got the call that she went on a cardiac arrest. We asked for cpr and drove there... she came back but her organs and brain were so damaged... the vet couldn't tell me what to do but I knew I had to say good bye. I sometimes still wonder what I could have done better... it all happened so suddenly I still feel like it's just a nightmare. I feel haunted with a feeling that I should have done better...
She entered her kidney failure stage 4 in May so I knew time was coming. But losing her to something that I didn't expect at all is just killing me. What could I have done better? Fid doctors really do the best? Would she be ok now if I didn't put her down? A lot of questions not bring answered and I am so heartbroken. Maybe one day I will do better.. just wanted to thank you so much for all the support. I also want to tell everyone here that pls hang in there. Don't give up easily!!!