How to get husband to get help

[Lostkat]

I am new here. I am married to my husband who has a history of very heavy drinking for over 45 years. He is showing a lot of symptoms of ESLD from alcohol abuse. He has severe ascites, Gyncomastia, Hemangiomas, Astirixis and day/night reversal. He has muscle wasting. He has a very bad body odor. When he has bowel movements it sinks the house up. It is like he is not digesting fats and lipids. He started with the ascites about 4 years ago. He has had high ammonia levels ands hyponatremia. I have tried to get him to see a Hepotologist and he refuses too. He thinks he is in good health. Anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? This is desperate big time.

Kat

[Dee1956]

Hi HectorSF is one of the most knowledgable people on here, he has had cirrhosis, liver cancer, liver transplant. This post I am pasting here has a video to watch as well as a lot of information which may help you.
He has not been feeling well.  I hope he doesn't mind me sharing this information.
Maybe you could get your husband to watch the Utube video to see if he might recognize himself.  Even if he won't watch perhaps you could watch it, it might help you
If he doesn't get help he is going to die.
Take Care, my best to you

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Cirrhosis-of-the-Liver/LIVING-WITH-HEPATIC-ENCEPHALOPATHY/show/1840492

[Dee1956]

Hello there!  Lynn and Kim have given you excellent advice.  I think Alanon would help you to deal with his problem and learn that it is his problem and there is nothing you can do unless he decides to do something.
Does he understand that he will soon be leaving you and the rest of your family?  I have a friend who won't treat his HCV and I asked him how he thought his grandson would feel when he was no longer around.  His wife is totally dependent on him, has not worked in over 30 years.  I asked who would be there for his wife.
You are not being mean, but his response to you sounds childish.  You want him to live, that is not being mean.
His condition sounds very serious, in fact if he is suffering from Hepatic Encephalopathy then he would not act like him self he would get his days and nights mixed up.  He could slur his words.  He may sleep  a lot. He may go into a coma, call an an ambulance if you see him vomiting what looks like coffee grounds as that will mean he is bleeding internally.
You may want to get a list of medications and keep them in your purse so that when he has to be admitted you are ready.  It will be confusing enough with everything going on to remember details.
My husband had to be admitted to the hospital on an emergency basis and I was so confused and overwhelmed I wished I had a list.
I had just finished treatment for HCV a few weeks before.  I had a hard time just driving to the hospital as they would not let me ride in the ambulance.
I will try to find more information.  
Dee

[Lostkat]

Thank you so much for your responses. I am going to see about Alanon. I cannot believe how stubborn my husband is. He is not drinking presently. He has slipped up a few times and I caught him and made him dump the liquor down the sink. He went into DTs and refused to go to the hospital.  Somehow he survived that. He constantly told me that I was meaner then a snake and refused to get up for week other then to go to the bathroom and eat his meals or take a shower. He didn't want to be near me I was mean for not letting him drink. He finally got better from that. He is so sick big time and won't see a doctor. Oh well.

Kathleen

[Livelife777]

Hi Kat.    Wow...I'm so sorry for the predicament your in.  Your husband is in total denial as the symptoms you are describing are definitely life threatening.  When someone is an alcoholic they are so consumed by drinking that even when faced with death they would still grab for the bottle.  Often the only time they seek help is when they feel so ill, they only then will quit.  I can tell you this because it happened to me.
Perhaps if you can get him to see a Dr and have an evaluation to see how bad his liver is he may consider stopping.  For me when they told me if I drink again I would die only then was it a wake up call.  Your husband is displaying similar abnormalities regarding his health and needs an honest assessment.
I wish there were something more that could be said, but he is the one that has to decide the party's over.
As Lynn has suggested going to Al-anon might help you to understand that this his his problem alone and no reflection on you.  As his wife I'm sure its so sad to watch the destruction this disease has on you and his family.  I wish there were more words to express that could help you to help him.  I only hope that you get the support you deserve and that one day he will get the help that he so desperately needs.
We will be here to support you as well with guidance and friendship.
Best Wishes
......Kim

[flyinlynn]

It can only be his choice if he chooses to kill himself with alcohol sadly there is little you can generally do. Does he at least see a general practice doctor maybe they can speak with him?

I suggest you may try your local Al-Anon group they may have some ideas.

Friends and families of problem drinkers find understanding and support at Al-Anon

http://www.al-anon.org/

Best to you
Lynn