One negative word of myself had made me end at such a miserable mind state. Help!

[jenny4674]

I had always been rather sensitive in nature, to negative words or anything negative, thus i never want to say nor see things which i thought are negative. I often does some research on internet about how our mind works too.
My problem appeared about few months ago, about august last year, everything in my mind, seem really disorganized.
I normally do mental planning in my mind, which means i made a list of notes in my head, instead of writing down. And these mental planning was of a great importance to me, the fact that it constantly remind me what to accomplish and etc.

These plans in my mind were messed up, and of course, when we realised that things are a messy and untidy state, we'll get frustrated easily. I remembered sensing a notion in my mind and my feeling suddenly felt a bit messed up, followed by my mental plan, becoming a whirlpool.
During that time, i am studying for exam too, memorising stuff. Due to my frustration of not being able to memorise any more, in addition to the thought of my plan being messed up, i said to myself, audible in my mind, 'You will fail your exam like those under-achievers!'
I react to it with intense fear and this incident stuck in my head for 3 months and depersonalise whenever i see books. i resorted to ''transferring'' these thoughts to end my suffering, to smth which i really don't wanna to think - 'to think of somebody baddies, people i hate, people i won't bother to think, people whom i thought are digusting when studying' to replace my fear, and i really did..whenever i read/ studying or wanna plan things with regards to studying, my brain will follow the way i thought and acted out in my brain. i will have mental images of these people, one at a time, maybe for 1 day, a week, different people, in my brain, and it disrupted me alot. I can't visualise, i can't study at my real effort, it's miserable.
My life most important thing is STUDYING and getting GD RESULTS. And this interrupted me alot.
Help pls.

[jenny4674]

Once one sinked into overcoming unwanted thoughts for over a year, it goes to show that he/she has obessional thoughts right? Disregarding whatever reasons which might have resulted he/she to have these unwanted thoughts right?

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

I think the next step for you should be to see the psychiatrist.  I think we have taken it as far as we can here.

tg

[jenny4674]

You see all these mental issues were firstly triggered off when last year, I do mental planning, which means that i will organize things to do, to be accomplished and etc, into categories.
Then suddenly, seriously, suddenly, one day, i sense a triggering feeling 'oozing out from, seemingly the chest area', then, i afterwhich, felt that my plans in my head, become really really really, terribly messed up; it's in a whirlpool. I really can't 'tidy up' these mess. It seemed out of control. I never wanted my brain to be like this.
And yeah, episodes of mental issues and mental concerning symptoms developed from there, as a result.
Is this a symptoms of experiencing chemical imbalance?
by the way, during that period of time, i was preparing for my exam. But i am not overstressed by it. I am excited rather.

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

No.  They are by Rx only and the decision of which to take requires professional expertise.  

tg

[jenny4674]

i want the thoughts and the anixety..can i just buy the medication without going to psychia?

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

Many possibilities, some help with anxiety, some depression, some the thoughts themselves in various combinations.

tg

[jenny4674]

The counsellor suggested me to take anixety medication. She introduce to me to see a psychiatrist, for assessments and so on..what are the asssessments and the possible names of medication prescibed?
By the way, will by controlling the anixety, make your thoughts not intrusive anymore?

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

Those are all the suggestions I have.  If you are in that much distress and your current therapy is not helping enough, a different approach to therapy or meds or both is the way to go.  Don't stay as miserable as you are, you need more help.

tg

[jenny4674]

no..my parent feel it's unsafe and yeah, you know..normally people consume medication for mental reasons..that conventional thinking..
yeah

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

Another possible approach, have you tried medication for anxiety or OCD?

tg

[jenny4674]

Ok, normally anxiety will lead to intrusive thoughts or OCD, and so on. The main thing i am worried and confused and doubt about is the fact that, these mental images popping in thing, is i introduced it in my head, myself. I told myself that i will think about it..Then it really did. My mind can't resist or stop the sense of intruding. My mind seem to dwell on them. ( Porbably that's the point it became REALLY intrusive). Then, i introduced it to only appeared, during studying. It really saddens me and made me really depressed abd miserable, the fact that i love studying, yet these images just intrude in, making me fearful. Ok, now, i know what i am fearful. I am fearful that, if these images suddenly appeared, it will stuck in my head forever, seeing the images right in front of me, in my head, then making me depersonalise, and thus from then on dwell on it, this way.
Also, studying had always been my niche. These thoughts i intro to my head, was a hazard to my studies in the first place.Thus, i am always anxious about it appearing in my head, but i knw that i am alr thinking abt it, which made me even more depressed.
it's a vicious cycle. However, e good thing is that, i now know what i feared,
being stuck in my head, seemingly to be devour part of my brain, my mental consciousness.
it will really cause a great hazard on my studies as what i had been feeling from these constant intruding of mental images, and my intuitions towards my current mental health and effects.
it will not go away. it seem to tag along all thinking with regards to studying.
Is it possible to assure me now?  My problem will goes away, as long as anyone will console me with regards to my root of anxiety. Probably it cuz of lack of certain psychological knowledges.
btw, i am really sensitive to things with regard to studying and results. don't say bad things about it. My problem was as a result of saying bad things about studying and results, to myself..

[jenny4674]

But can it be cured? i learnt from the net that as long as you find the root of ur anxiety, you will slowly cure it..if can, i really want..or maybe is it possible to get cure on the net?
The counsellor i am seeing is really too ex. And it pains me to always see my parent paying it..
so yeah,i am really stuck. I don't wanna sadden me parent any longer and wanna return to my normal brain, and concentrate happily on studying. i love studying. but ever since this problem, i will tense up whenever i study, and it's a misery. And when i tense up (randomly), i get tired easily, since my chest will feel a bit uncomfortable as a result.
And it really affected me and my academic..pls, everyday it's a misery..

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

OCD  can be obsessive or intrusive thoughts with no compulsions.  The behavioral approaches if and to the degree that they work for you will probably work more quickly.

tg

[jenny4674]

only without compulsion right?
But are there any quick methods? yeah,i am bit frustrated.

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

In reverse order:  PTSD is usually diagnosed when there has been an outside threat to your life or physical or emotional integrity, abuse, or trauma.  Is this the case?

I don't know how long it will take. I wish I could tell you.  I can hear how difficult a time you are having.

Intrusive obsessional thoughts are one part of OCD.  

My thought was that if you are frustrated with the results of your current therapy, it might be helpful to add or substitute a different approach.

tg

tg

[jenny4674]

is mine Posttraumatic stress disorder? since i have threatened my psychological integrity?

[jenny4674]

how long will it take to be cured fully? can it be weeks? i can't wait any longer...it's miserable...i have a very very important coming..it determines my life..i wanna work to my real effort..how sure is it that it's oc-d? i thought it's intrusive obessional thoughts?

[jenny4674]

i don't think i am ocd. Is just that some imagination of mine had turned into a true thing, as my brain reacted and acted out the way it is..
it's been a year..

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

could be both or either.  The ocfoundation.org site has a lot of material from the behavioral perspective.

tg

[jenny4674]

is this some mental problem or some temporary psychological syptoms?
Help me pls. It has caused me much trouble..What are some ways?? How to ignore that??

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

I think of it as part of your mind trying to bully you.  

It is useful to look at when it started, the form it takes and who you are generally in the psychotherapy.  Certainly how you have come to feel so vulnerable and what to do about it could be very valuable.  

There are also a set of behavioral techniques and possibly medications that focus more on the symptoms and are quite useful to some people some time.

tg

[jenny4674]

however ( do not ignore my above previous post though), just for your info, is it really intrusive obessional thoughts  ? I mean, i actually 'transferred'' these thoughts to end my suffering of scared of books, to smth which i really don't wanna to think..
It will as a result, become an intrusive obessional thoughts? Then actually what makes me plunge myself into this never ending problem at first? is it of my belief or imagination?

[jenny4674]

So it's intrusive obsessional thoughts..Yes, i have been finding the root of my problem for the past 8 months!:( or rather, what's the problem with me.
I did see a psychologist outside. She is a Pyschotherapist. A psycho- analyst, which cost my parent about $160, per visit. What she was doing was, 'talking therapy'
does that help? I don't think so..all she has been asking was,
why do i fear these intrusive thoughts of mine. What 'qualities' these people popping up in my head during studying, have...
I feared these thoughts popping up somehow too, the fact that it interrupted me during studying, but i knew that i have never stop thinking about this problem of mine.

Is it easy to treat, i mean, it can be cure quickly?

[Ted A Grossbart, Ph.D.]

These are intrusive obsessional thoughts.  They should be very treatable. Does your school have a Health Service or Counseling Center where you can get some help?