Being a father

[jamiejackson123]

Iam a 43 year old male who has used pullout method for 2 previous ex gf for ten years without pregnancy issues. I had protected sex with a condom properly used with a friend twice last year and now she just had a baby. We are in the midst of determining who the father is but what are the chances or probability of me being the father of this child?  Thank you in advance

[purple1234567]

If you had sex, it's of course possible- but since it was protected- not likely.  I don't know what the time between when you had sex with her and when the baby was born, but of course that would be a factor too.  Is the mother having a DNA test done?  

[jamiejackson123]

She told me that she also had protected sex with her ex during the same time but I don't believe her that it was protected.  I did bring up the DNA paternity test and for some reason she was unsure.  Very frustrating because I would like to know.  

[purple1234567]

I'm sure that is very frustrating- sounds like you don't have a lot to go on to figure this out.  Have you thought about taking any legal action to see who the father is?  Does she have a guess as to who it might be?  

[jamiejackson123]

She is saying that is it’s me or her ex but I just can’t believe that it can be mine since I used condom appropriately. I’m just puzzled at this point. I will be taking to her again today to see if she is willing to take the paternity test.  I am assuming a cotton swab test is adequate for paternity testing??

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, the baby is born already and she is not willing to do a test? Usually when a woman is reluctant to have a DNA test done it is because of the high cost of testing when pregnant. But it is not that prohibitive to do a test after the baby comes.

When did you have sex with her, do you know the dates? And when was the baby born?

[jamiejackson123]

Thank you for the feedback. I don’t have the exact date that we had sex but we did last year. The baby was born about a week ago so I am assuming she concepted August of 2017.  I’m just thinking based on how careful I was with the condom that the father couldn’t be me but can’t be sure

[AnnieBrooke]

Also, you should get in touch with the family courts in your area of jurisdiction and find out what labs the courts have certified to determine paternity legally. You need a place where you go in and show ID, and give your sample to a lab tech (not to her to mail off to a lab somewhere). In short, do this right or there is the chance for error or fraud. She should also be testing with the other guy.

[jamiejackson123]

Thank you for the feedback Annie. I will look into the courts that have certified to determine paternity legally.

[AnnieBrooke]

Hi, Jamie, I also wrote on your other post.