Hello TDOO. I agree with Annie.
I think you can stick with your original due date as being accurate - Sept. 8. Your baby was born small 3 weeks before that due date, which is evidence the due date was correct.
Let me offer this. There is no amount of confirmation of paternity that would assuage your anxiety about this. If you had a DNA test come back positive for your partner, you'd feel an immediate rush of relief, that would be followed in the next days with gnawing doubt about the science of the DNA test, and then your anxiety would return full-blown to where it is now within a week. Because you aren't doubting the paternity, you're feeling guilt over your choice to get drunk and being an easy victim and feeling like the universe should punish you for that guilt by not letting you be happy.
I don't know what your therapy is focusing on, but IMHO it needs to be focused on forgiving yourself. That's what's killing you - your part in this situation that happened in October.
Best wishes. This is really, really hard and complicated. You have so much to be happy about, and you deserve happiness, and this awful anxiety is robbing you of your life.
You are worried about losing "our happy place" but it's not happy for you so it's already lost unless you speak up. The main thing you have to remember to do is divide what is really true (you have PTSD, you were raped) from what is not true (it has given rise to irrational fears on your part). If you drop the whole load on him, not only that you are suffering from PTSD, and that you were raped weeks before you met him, but that you have been afraid (irrationally) that the baby came from the rape, despite having two periods in between and all the rest, he will not be able to understand that the last thing has no basis in fact. He'll probably wonder why you were so worried if it's really a 7-week difference, and begin to get scared himself. So talk to your therapist about how not to make this a total core dump of everything you ever worried about all wound together in a huge tangle. Telling him that you were raped is enough to talk about all by itself.
I can see that you don't want to give up control over the news that this crime occurred, even to the person who should be your rock and your foundation since he is the father of your child. And I get it, to some extent, but think you should move on from the illusion of "control" that this gives you. The silence is actually causing you to be without help in your most important personal relationship, and while it's at it, tearing you to pieces and making you irrational about dates that show clearly the rape could not have produced the baby. Keeping it a secret makes you behave exactly as you would if you thought the rape was your own wrongdoing, rather than that you were a victim of a crime. Walling him out removes your boyfriend's chance to show he cares and sympathizes, (which who knows, might be part of the attraction for you -- anger is part of the reaction to rape, and powerlessness, and he is also a guy). But the fact of you having assumed your boyfriend would not support you may tear your relationship to bits once he learns what happened, which is a stupid long-term consequence given the situation. Obviously you know your boyfriend the best -- possibly he is that inhumane and would somehow blame you -- but what kind of man would do that? And are you really in a relationship with someone that cruel? He wouldn't be much to lose if he did. I'd trust that he will be a genuine human being and your biggest support, and would risk telling him.
No. And I think you should either talk to your boyfriend about the post-traumatic stress disorder or you should get a better therapist.
You said you "can't tell your boyfriend." If you are saying you can't tell your boyfriend that you are having fearful and obsessive thoughts that the baby might not be his child, I can see why you wouldn't want to go there, because after all, there is no evidence that suggests the boyfriend is not the dad, and why worry him with what you know in your heart are mere irrational thoughts? But if you are saying you can't tell your boyfriend that you are suffering from PTSD from a sexual attack, I would say you should talk to your counselor about this and see if you can bring yourself to discuss it with your boyfriend. It seems like you would both do better if he knew, unless you think he would not be supportive.
For what it is worth, it is common on this site to see people writing in who are obsessing about the paternity of the baby even when the dates are very clear that the baby is not from the wrong person. I think this happens because it is easier for the mind to let anxiety settle on a question like what dates produced a pregnancy than to deal with bigger, more grim, and harder issues (it's cut and dried after all, and can be solved easily enough with a DNA test if the person is really worried, but a lot of time they actually know in their heart that their concerns are in fact silly). So don't think you are alone to be (self-admittedly irrationally) saying "What if the doctors are --- WRONG?!?!?!?!" -- we hear it all the time here. Not because the doctors *are* wrong, it's just an outlet the mind takes rather than have to struggle with harder, more amorphous issues.
(typo -- where it says "our" grief and pain, it was supposed to say "Your" grief and pain.) Don't give up your power and your peace of mind to this slimeball. Get help and get back on your feet.
I might add, the person who harmed you did it with cruel intentions for his own twisted reasons. our grief and pain are part of what he wanted. What happened in October is done, you sure as hell can stop him getting more of what he wanted, that is, you being traumatized throughout the intervening months and now. You will need to see a professional, but that is what they are for. Book an appointment today. If you don't know who to call, ask your doctor for a referral, tell the doc you need to work through sexual trauma and post-traumatic stress.
You "can't tell your partner" what? That the baby is his?
Of course, you are suffering from anxiety and post-traumatic stress, and that makes people have irrational thoughts. You are correct that did not have a 44+ week baby. Now, go see a therapist or counselor and talk about the unresolved trauma from the painful event in October. That is what is really the trouble. Everything is fine with the baby. Seriously, go now and book an appointment. The only thing you have to lose is your stress.