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Avatar universal

Help I’m due soon

Hi i had a period 25th dec 2019, 5day bleed I have a regular 28 day cycle .I split with my boyfriend and 2 months after I had sex with #guy1 On Jan 11th 2020 (cycle day 18). I got checked and was all in the clear and that was the first and last time I slept with him. Me and my boyfriend got back together, we had sex Jan 29th, 4th feb and 18 feb 2020. But who’s more likely to be the dad? You think the man from 11th jan has a huge chance to be ? Or is ? My Due date Given to me was 28/10/2020 And hasn’t changed.I remember a bleed 22nd January For 5 days but was over thinking if this was implantation not a period, I mean I never questioned it at the time.This date was the date given to start a period and this bleed came bang On time as I had a app on my phone. But is this baby my boyfriend’s? I’m going crazy as to my knowledge I had no doubt In my head untill My bf mom asked for a dna test as she knows we split up! Am I just been paranoid and silly, he don’t no as I was ok till she said that and it’s put me in a para state :worried: please help!! March 4th 2020 they said I’m approximately 6 weeks... they said she measures Just on point not to snap or big. My due dates ant changed since my first scans! Am I right snd just let this crap take over my brain to think I’m wrong
18 Responses
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134578 tn?1614729226
COMMUNITY LEADER
It doesn't sound like the baby came from the wrong guy. Your due date and the baby's measurements from the early March ultrasound all say the baby was conceived from the sex February 4.
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Do I’m totally overthinking this you think, I just thought is there some how a chance and scan could be wrong some how but I’m sure if I was more I would no by now! I feel silly for asking but just needed that reassurance I’m greatful for your reply x
Avatar universal
@annie so you think  I can trust what my scans are saying? can They be wrong? It would they no by now if she was 3 or so weeks ahead.I only had sex on day 18 can you get pregnant when fertile window shuts? I’m only asking as Iv read up on woman that this has happened too and it’s thrown me.And the bleeding i had I can’t remember the flow but it was around 22nd jan .I didn’t experience implantation with my son tbh,so didn’t no what to expect!
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134578 tn?1614729226
COMMUNITY LEADER
If you got pregnant from the sex on the 11th of January, October 3 would be your due date. Has the doctor or ultrasound tech ever told you your due date was anywhere near that early? No. You say they consistently said all through the pregnancy that your due date is October 28, a good 25 days later. You've just got to pay attention to medical evidence and stop letting your guilt run the show.

You say you've "read up on women that this has happened too." Presumably you are not saying you researched scholarly medical journals for scientific discussions of ultrasound accuracy. My guess is that you asked Google, and up came the online equivalent of reading tabloid headlines in the grocery line (as far as reliability of information goes). Maybe one in ten thousand chat-room tales is a valid story that a doctor would confirm is correct (and that 1:10,000 estimate is generous). The rest will be someone who didn't understand what the doctor told her, or hear it correctly, or remember it right, and then later got upset because her understanding was different than what the doctor had actually said. A collection of fears, bad logic, misunderstandings of the doctor, miscommunications, and misinterpretations doesn't change your medical evidence and throws no shade on your own situation, doctor or the eight months of information you have.

You basically say you freaked out because someone's mother wants a DNA test before her son is on the hook for 18-21 years of the support of a child. Look the whole world in the eye and get the DNA test, right at the hospital the day the baby is born. This gives your child a permanent legal right to his father. It's important and a good idea -- that way, your boyfriend can't skip out on his responsibilities.

You say you have another child -- try to stop falling apart, he needs you to be a grown-up, and calm.

Good luck.
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Avatar universal
Thanks babe your so blunt but keep it real and I appreciate that thanks for you msg ...
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Avatar universal
@annie or anyone Iv been looking into some therapy and since asking what I asked Iv felt more at ease.But as I’m coming to 37 weeks mark Iv started to Get a little anxious and found myself just looking and reading over what you said.I did find myself saying to my self if I was pregnant from guy from 11th I would of gave birth now right? But why am I finding myself hoping I get to 38 weeks then that way it would make me 42 weeks also since that encounter and I feel comfort in hoping this as I no pregnancy don’t last longer then 42 weeks in the UK! They induce by 41 plus 4 max This normal to feel comfort from this, am I been silly again!
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Avatar universal
Meaning I’m finding comfort knowing that if I was pregnant from the 11th I’d be hitting 41 weeks weds, if I some what get to my 38 weeks it means I’d be 42 weeks by now if I was pregnant from guy 1 hope that makes sense if not I’m just trying to explain and it’s coming out jibbled !
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134578 tn?1614729226
COMMUNITY LEADER
Every week from now on that you go, you'll feel better.

When you get therapy, talk about how to stop putting your fears up there as equally significant to what the clear medical evidence says. Not only will the tendency to do this run you ragged, it is not a useful tendency for a mommy to have.   :-)

Write in when the baby is born!
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Avatar universal
I’m having a sweep the 14th if that don’t work I’m bern induced 21st eeeek ❤️
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13167 tn?1327194124
Sat,  I agree with Annie.  

The most compelling piece of information is the scan on March 4,  indicating you were 6 weeks pregnant.  That puts the overwhelming likelihood that your encounter Feb. 4 resulted in pregnancy.  

Scans at 6 weeks gestation are very,  very accurate.

For it to have been off by 3.5 weeks,  meaning you got pregnant from the encounter Jan 11 and were in fact 9.5 weeks,  instead of 6 weeks,  is not possible.

If you actually got pregnant Jan 11,  and the embryo appeared to be 6 weeks along on March 4,  that's a failed embryo that didn't develop.  That clearly didn't happen - you're nearly due with a healthy girl.

Best wishes.
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1 Comments
Awww Thankyou for this thanks to you both everything you have said has been helpful and I’m truly appreciated of it. I’m looking into therapy like I said but thanks again grant be more greatful for your reply’s  xx
Avatar universal
Just a thought I had a csection with my first, how over due will they let you go over in general I’m from the UK.
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6 Comments
Ps I’m going for a natural birth if all goes to plan x
I don't know how it's timed in Britain, but here's a good article on the topic of vaginal birth after a C-section. It tells all the pros and cons and what to consider (including the timing from your previous pregnancy and the type of scar) when making the decision to go for a vaginal birth.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/vbac/in-depth/vbac/art-20044869
Thankyou ❤️
Anne something just popped into my head at my first scan at 6 week aprox the data said.When I looked on the screen it was just a flicker I had a traditional abdominal ultrasound. But I’m reading theses can’t pick up nothing that early and a virginal scan would have to be required to see anything . Is this true, cuz I come across it not long ago and thought how did they say I was 6 weeks if they can’t pick pregnancy up with a traditional abdominal ultrasound by 7 plus weeks .Im a day ahead according to my scanner I asked him last week... just wondering x
Though not in all circumstances, an abdominal ultrasound can pick up the embryo in the sixth week GA.

Your information is quite clear. At this stage, 'what-if' questions will only mess up your peace of mind. Save them for your doc if you must ask them.
I understand and no I’m good now was just a thought I no we’re I went wrong and I’m feeling in control now thanks for all the advice
Avatar universal
Should I be active after my sweep tomorrow? How long do they take to work? Or is it best to just leave it to happen if it happens just wondering
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3 Comments
I don't know exactly why you're having the sweep, so can't advise. It surprises me that they would do it this early.
They said because of the previous c section, and something to do with the risks of the scaring I think she said if  I want to have a natural birth this time they advise for me to go into labour Naturally  before My due date As risks go up after 38 week for me so I can have the chance at natural birth To as after 39 weeks things could get complicated
Should I be worried ? my baby is not to big or small she okay on point should I be worried now bout anything? Can I decline A doctor
If the sweep was to be certain that scarring from a C-section doesn't impede natural labor, do what your doctor says.
Avatar universal
Il be 38 one day when I have it and 39 weeks when I get induced... if sweep don’t work due 28th
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Avatar universal
I don’t want to overthink as Iv been okay since getting my head around my medical evidence due to my little issue I’d hate to get thrown off because of this happening
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1 Comments
Don't start second-guessing your doctor at this late date. It sounds like it's in order to make it safe for you to do a VBAC. Try to relax.
Avatar universal
Okay so they have decided to not give me the induction they sent me home. I was there all day thinking that this was it lol The doctor said she feels she is going to leave me to go to 41 3 days. If I don’t go into labour by then I’m book to get induced by the 7th.she felt if I get induced the Need for a c section risk goes up My question is I thought it was to dangerous to go that far don’t pregnancy last 50 weeks? We’re does the 41/42 come from? Also  @Annie I’m still pregnant lmaooo you was right I feel much better as the weeks have passed, and if I was pregnant from 11jan I’m sure I’d be hitting week 44 ! Snd that I’m sure IS NOT possible for a normal pregnancy! Feel silly I let that get to me but thanks again For helping me look at science and logic over fears and anxiety!
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1 Comments
Given your original due date of October 28, 40 weeks will be 5 days from now and November 7 would be 41 weeks 3 days, as the doctor said.  My guess is that booking an induction appointment at 41+ weeks is to start things if you haven't gone into labor by then, not because she thinks you won't go into labor by then.
Avatar universal
Note taken thanks
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Avatar universal
Hi so a little update I went into spontaneous labour 2nd nov and had my girl by c section, all went crazy after that as I  hemorrhage Lost 4 litters of blood but I can honestly say I’m Lucy to be alive.But yeah my daughter is the spot of my boyfriend she has a distinct feature and one is the family’s mark which is the dash line under the lip on the chin,my boyfriend also has this and only 3 other have it in the family so far. But his mother still wants a dna don’t and until then she can’t be fully happy. Thing is I was cool now I feel Iv got this far and under again this pressure to do something I deep down feel I shouldn’t have to prove myself too! Plus we don’t even have a relationship like that.should I just not do it! Is it even still important too I feel like if I don’t I look guilty.But it makes me nervous to think il just do it for her and me have gotten it all wrong! Can a baby look like a man that ant her dad? Have the trats of of him... she’s doing this to my brain again ! I no I need to just stay realistic but it hard when you feel under pressure to do summit you don’t wanna deep down do
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Avatar universal
Lucky****
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134578 tn?1614729226
COMMUNITY LEADER
Congratulations on your successful birth, traumatic as it was! Get the DNA test; it will shut up his mom and it will put him on the line for child support. Don't even think twice, get it. Your child deserves it and you may well need the legal proof.
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2 Comments
ps -- Be sure you are there with him when he does his swab. You don't want him to cheat and send a buddy or cousin in his place, which might be what the mom is after in the first place. Do it all as legally and properly as possible.
And quit dragging your feet, your evidence shows that your fears are silly, and all it makes you do is look guilty. You will lose your child's rights if you don't do this promptly and officially.
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