Is a paternity test necessary? Did I get pregnant in February ?

[Nicole3593]

LMP was February 24-29 due date nov 30th

Me and my boyfriend had sex March 1st (very first time) - March 16th just about every single day and only used a condom on 3 days and pull out method the other times

I went in for an IUD on March 17th and my doctor told me my pregnancy test was a very faint positive so they didn’t give me the IUD and on the 18th I did bloodwork and my hcg level was 79 which is accurate for end of 3 weeks... 5 days later I missed my period

At my first ultrasound at 4 weeks there was absolutely nothing

At 5 weeks I saw a gestational sac

6 weeks I measured 5 days ahead and saw a blob  (did not change DD)

And then 9 weeks I measured 5 days ahead (did not change due date)

12 and 22 weeks I was now 7 days ahead (still did not change DD) so I am 31 weeks 2 days now and maybe in theory can be 32 weeks 2 days if they would have changed my due date

I guess I’m freaking out because now I’m hearing crazy stories about dating scans being 3-4 weeks off, even though all my ultrasounds show me conceiving in March I have this fear that i conceived in February and my period was just some freak thing even though it was a normal period and 5 days long  and that my ultrasounds are wrong

In February I was causally seeing someone and we had sex 3 times

February 2nd (one day after my January period) we had sex and the condom slipped off inside of me after he finished and I didn’t take a plan B

February 10th I truly cannot remember if we pulled out or used a condom

February 16th we definitely used a condom the WHOLE time before my clothes were even off and that was the last time I saw him and started dating my boyfriend February 19th and not sexually active w my boyfriend until March 1st after my last period

I want to trust my period my ultrasounds and my faint test and hcg levels that it was a new pregnancy but I’m just freaked out that what if I was already pregnant before my boyfriend because I’m just shocked that I got a positive before I even missed my period and I have no clue when I ovulated because I dont track at all because I wasn’t trying. But it seems like if I’m measuring ahead It’s possible I ovulated early or I just implanted fast, is that common? Am I being too paranoid ?

Side note: my cycles are 25-32 days (28 days average if you add and divide my last 12 periods) varies each month but I do get a period every month

[ppowb]

I see every reason to believe  your daughter belongs to your boyfriend. You should quit hunting the Internet for reasons to believe otherwise. Please enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, your new family and the years to come.

[Nicole3593]

Thank you I know I need to get off the internet! And the fact that I got an early positive and saw a gestational sac at 5 weeks and 3 days through an abdominal ultrasound made me questions things

[AnnieBrooke]

They weren't saying you should go back and change your estimation of when the baby was conceived, they were saying your baby was developing slightly faster than average in his or her early weeks. But even if you needed to set your perceived conception date back a week, that wouldn't explain an ultrasound in your fourth week seeing nothing. (Nothing is nothing. If you were really in your fifth week, it would have seen something.) And the following week, it would have seen a lot (limbs and movement) if the baby was really 6 weeks GA instead of 5.

You're saying you had a period a week and a day after the last sexual activity with the guy who is not your boyfriend. I assume you're aware that people don't ovulate a week and a day before their period?  So you wouldn't have gotten pregnant from the sex on the 16th in any case. You also say it was a normal 5-day period and came when it was supposed to, and your ultrasounds all say you conceived in March.

The only puzzling part in your story is what is driving you to freak out. I assume you realize that stories on the Internet are not vetted by God allowed to stand only if they are the pure and honest truth.

In regard to the doctor having a sensitive test, I'm not finding that very unusual, either. When I was pregnant, I got a positive blood test on day 8 after sex, and on a home test, eleven days after the sex.

My suggestion is that it's neither the Internet tall tales nor the early positive pregnancy test that's bothering you, but something else about your situation. It might be a good idea to address that, and if you do, your worries about dates will fade away.

[Nicole3593]

Thank you I know I have medical evidence on my side and it just so happened I went In for an IUD but if I hadn’t I would have missed my period and tested eventually. I came across this story where her partners were a month apart w a period and when baby was born the DNA test showed guy 1 as the father and her dating scan was 4 weeks off and it sent me into a panic but I came to realize her details were very funky and kept changing so she wasn’t a reliable source. When I told my mom the story and shared my concerns she wasn’t the most supportive she just said “idk that’s weird but I had heavy implantation bleeding that I thought was my period when I was pregnant with your brother” (25 years ago)  and that just made my stomach sink. Also the first guy was just absolutely mr. wrong and when I got with my boyfriend and became pregnant he stepped up we moved in together he is so ready and so excited and not to mention his family has been crazy supportive and I’m just so incredibly happy I will admit part of me feels as though it’s too good to be true and that baby will be born and it’s going to end up this crazy scandal and I’m going to look like some liar and I will lose everything. My anxiety has been through the roof and I haven’t enjoyed this pregnancy AT ALL which makes me so sad because I can’t bond with my little girl in my stomach.

[Nicole3593]

Also sorry to bug I notice in other post you always ask them to verify between measuring embryo and DD based on LMP. My doctors always went based off of my last period being February 24th but when measuring baby they mentioned being 5-7 days ahead but that they wouldn’t change my DD because it’s within a certain amount of days. Would this change their scans if they didn’t know my LMP and just measured the embryo? Because I didn’t ever ask when I conceived I would just ask my due date and they would say like “well your LMP due date is November 30th but your ultrasound is a 5 or 7 days ahead but we are going to stay with you LMP date” so I would just use a conception calculator and enter what the ultrasound measured and ignored my LMP date. like once I saw her measure and the screen said I was 9 weeks 5 days but she went in and changed it to say 9 weeks 0 days  and I was like wow i can’t believe they can manipulate it like that

[AnnieBrooke]

If your ultrasound said something inconsistent (by more than a few days) with a measurement based on the first day of your last period, the doctor would have changed the record to what the ultrasound said. The time difference is just not significant enough, in your case.  It doesn't push things to before your last period. It doesn't push things back to the last time you had sex before your last period. So, lighten up. Remember, you had nothing showing at your 4th-week scan.

[Nicole3593]

Thank you for clearing that up! It’s funny how many post are similar timelines to me and have periods in between two partners and dating scans and they panic just like me but when I read their post I’m like “you’re silly it’s obviously guy #2” but w my situation all logic goes out the window.

[AnnieBrooke]

That's probably because when a woman has clear evidence from the timing/period coming in between/DNA test, but is still freaking out over paternity, the problem is usually that she feels she is in a situation out of her control for some other reason (not  paternity) and she has let her anxiety settle on paternity. I've posted the following before, but you might find it interesting.

"Every woman having this problem (not believing the data) has a different reason they are anxious. It could be guilt over her behavior. She could be catastrophizing, such as if their husband or partner found out she cheated, her whole life will end and the world will explode. It could be worry she won't be a good parent, or wishing the other guy was the dad and being ashamed of it, or resentment of her husband, or fear of childbirth, or feeling God will punish her, or not really wanting to be a mom, or shame about being unmarried and pregnant, or shame about what she did. It could be something else. Existential anxiety like this is harder to face than simple worries about paternity, which after all are ultimately cut-and-dried.

"When existential fears drive anxiety, the brain hates that this doesn't feel solvable. A person's mind in this kind of existential stress often lets the anxiety settle on something that to the brain feels more controllable. (Like obsessing over what if the father is someone else.) In a situation like this, the woman might deep down not be in a lot of doubt, but still find worrying about paternity easier. Unfortunately, the answer about who is the dad doesn't help, because paternity is not really what she was actually anxious about.

"No amount of rational explanations of evidence about paternity will solve worries that come from something else. Identify your real fears and work on plans to solve them, and your fears about paternity will fade away."  

[AnnieBrooke]

ps -- I'm glad you read other women's posts. A lot of the time it's easier to see this pattern playing out when someone else is doing it, than when you are. And be reassured, it's not uncommon at all for women to just go into a downward spiral of what-if, what-if, what-if. But your dates and that 4th-week ultrasound don't merit it at ALL.