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Please help with my paternity anxiety!
I had sex with Guy A: June 4th and June 8th (he didn’t pull out)
Guy B: June 10th & June 12th (pull out)
My last period started May 26th-May 30th
Ultrasound on July 6th at ER was 5w6d
& put my conception at June 9th with a due date of March 2nd. I’m now 20 weeks pregnant and her due date hasn’t changed the whole way through. I’m also having a girl and I’ve heard the theory of girl sperm lasting longer , so most likely when you have a girl the Egg was waiting to be fertilized. My period tracker said June 4th-June 11th (fertility) but now it’s changed to June 7th-June 12th for some strange reason.
Let me also add i had a prenatal DNA test done and it said Guy A was the father. They told me the test was ran in a lab 3 times and it’s for sure accurate, however i heard the only lab i should’ve used was DDC. I used a company called “accurate dna” they said i could get a free postnatal dna test done and use it in court if needed and it would be accredited. I’m just nervous about everything and i know my dates were close together, however based on everything. Do you think the Prenatal test was more accurate??
Guy B: June 10th & June 12th (pull out)
My last period started May 26th-May 30th
Ultrasound on July 6th at ER was 5w6d
& put my conception at June 9th with a due date of March 2nd. I’m now 20 weeks pregnant and her due date hasn’t changed the whole way through. I’m also having a girl and I’ve heard the theory of girl sperm lasting longer , so most likely when you have a girl the Egg was waiting to be fertilized. My period tracker said June 4th-June 11th (fertility) but now it’s changed to June 7th-June 12th for some strange reason.
Let me also add i had a prenatal DNA test done and it said Guy A was the father. They told me the test was ran in a lab 3 times and it’s for sure accurate, however i heard the only lab i should’ve used was DDC. I used a company called “accurate dna” they said i could get a free postnatal dna test done and use it in court if needed and it would be accredited. I’m just nervous about everything and i know my dates were close together, however based on everything. Do you think the Prenatal test was more accurate??
COMMUNITY LEADER
Based on your DNA test and other data, guy A is the dad. Did you test with both men, or only one of them?
17 Comments
(Incidentally, the statement you made that "most likely when you have a girl the Egg was waiting to be fertilized" is not the correct description, though you wound up in the right place anyway. If you had sex on a date that had the sperm, not the egg, waiting around, then you would theoretically be more likely to get a girl. Which, you did. The sex on the 4th would have the sperm waiting around quite a while for the egg if it made an appearance on the 9th.)
According to the “shuttles method” girl sperm swim slower and last longer & boy sperm swim faster but for quicker. & my doctor said that sperm can live inside a woman for 3-5 day’s. However, a lot of experts suggest a woman have sex a couple days before ovulation to get a girl & closer to ovulation for a boy. This can all be googled & however, is still a “theory”
I only got man A tested, and it came with a 99.98% that he cannot he excluded as the biological father.
I meant to say boy sperm die quicker.
It's "Shettles" method, not "shuttles." All I was commenting on was that your explanation (that the egg was waiting around) is not how the Shettles idea works. In fact, the egg does not wait around for long -- eggs die within 24-36 hours if they are not fertilized. The Shettles method is based on the theory that X-chromosome carrying sperm (the ones that produce girls) swim more slowly and live longer. It's about the sperm, not the egg. If you had the sex on the 4th and ovulated on the 9th, according to Shettles, all the male-carrying sperm would have died and the female-carrying sperm would still be around. So, you reached the right conclusion but it didn't have to do with the egg waiting around, it had to do with the sperm waiting around.
Oh got you, and sorry i meant to say “Shettles” however..just out of curiosity, do you agree with this theory?
& do you feel like man A would more likely be the father?
& do you feel like man A would more likely be the father?
Shettles doesn't hurt anything since it concurs with your DNA test. But I would go with the DNA test over Shettles if they didn't agree. The rest is just theory, a blood test is medical evidence.
Pretty much everything you list says you ovulated on the 9th and were pregnant by the time you had sex on the 10th. Of course that is very close for comfort, but you had a DNA test to stop being in doubt. Go with your DNA test results, and relax.
Pretty much everything you list says you ovulated on the 9th and were pregnant by the time you had sex on the 10th. Of course that is very close for comfort, but you had a DNA test to stop being in doubt. Go with your DNA test results, and relax.
Thankyou, I’ll try to just relax. I guess it does make me feel better that the guy on the 10th pulled out even though that doesn’t mean anything either lol it’s still better odds for the 4th & 8th man who didn’t! Thankyou for commenting
Where Shettles helps you the most is that if the guy on the 10th were the dad, by the Shettles theory the baby would be a boy. But the DNA test helps you the most and the rest of it doesn't matter by comparison. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Thankyou so much.
Okay one more question before i leave this all to rest. Do you believe another blood test is necessary with a more trustworthy company or i should be fine with the blood test i already have?
The important question is how you would feel if you got a second prenatal DNA test. Would you be reassured, or would you still be saying be "What if the test is wrong?"
If you wouldn't second-guess the results of a subsequent test the way you're second-guessing the one you've already had, and if you have the money, there is nothing wrong with testing twice. But if you are going ahead with the pregnancy in any case, you could wait and test once the baby arrives, which would save you a lot of money over the cost of a second prenatal test.
I don't know that there is anything wrong with the test you did, but if it was super cheap it's not a bad idea to test again. The timing of that second test (whether prenatal or post-natal) I'd leave up to your finances. Definitely tell the guy that he got a 99% yes on the test, but that because you don't feel you used the top lab in the world, you're nervous that there might be a very slim chance of an error. He might be as interested as you are, in testing again.
If you wouldn't second-guess the results of a subsequent test the way you're second-guessing the one you've already had, and if you have the money, there is nothing wrong with testing twice. But if you are going ahead with the pregnancy in any case, you could wait and test once the baby arrives, which would save you a lot of money over the cost of a second prenatal test.
I don't know that there is anything wrong with the test you did, but if it was super cheap it's not a bad idea to test again. The timing of that second test (whether prenatal or post-natal) I'd leave up to your finances. Definitely tell the guy that he got a 99% yes on the test, but that because you don't feel you used the top lab in the world, you're nervous that there might be a very slim chance of an error. He might be as interested as you are, in testing again.
Yea, it wasn’t super cheap... it was $900-1000. However, i didn’t realize a lot of people said i should’ve only used DDC or Ravgen. I called the company i used for some reassurance and they said they can offer me another test after baby is born for free that is AABB accredited. The only reason the prenatal one isn’t is because i wouldn’t be able to use it in court. She assured me the results will be the same and their lab in New York runs this test 3 times in the lab before confirming results.
It’s all about my nerves honestly. However, i did want to speak to a professional about what they thought i should do. Does a March 2nd due date give you a June 9th conception date?
It’s all about my nerves honestly. However, i did want to speak to a professional about what they thought i should do. Does a March 2nd due date give you a June 9th conception date?
I advised not to get another prenatal DNA test if you will just second-guess that test too. You haven't answered where I asked if you would find a DDC or Ravgen test convincing. If you would find it convincing and if you have the money, get the test (and test with both guys). Then you'd have a very clear answer. Otherwise you're just going to be saying what if, what if, what if. Your dates are too close together to keep going over them and finding new things to ask, a test is the only way to know for sure. (If you would believe it, that is.)
Both guys would never test, however i May consider a DDC or Ravgen one...i would find them more convincing, Thankyou!
Hopefully they can do it discreetly, if not I’ll just leave it be.
Hopefully they can do it discreetly, if not I’ll just leave it be.
I think Ravgen does do discreet testing and the DDC doesn't, but that might be old information.
I will add, about saying the guys will "never" test -- once the baby is born, if a judge has ordered a test, they will test.
I will add, about saying the guys will "never" test -- once the baby is born, if a judge has ordered a test, they will test.
I was speaking on testing before birth regarding the other man not doing it. All these companies speak down on one another, even when i called Ravgen today they speak down on DDC... however, Ravgen did say that a lot of these companies who are called “fraud” sometimes test through them in partnership or DDC. I haven’t decided what I’ll do , but i do appreciate you responding and your patience.
Ravgen does do discreet samples , i spoke with them today.
Ravgen does do discreet samples , i spoke with them today.
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