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Who is likely the father?
My fertile window was from June 12th to the 18th.If I ovulated and had sex with Guy A on June 17th and had sex with Guy B on the 20th?Who is the father?Is it possible to get pregnant 3 days after I already ovulated or was Guy B too late to even be considered a possibility?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Are you asking this to check the DNA test you had that told you Guy B is the father? Or, did the test merely rule out Guy A and now you are second-guessing the test results? (Sometimes women only test with one guy, especially if they are keeping the sex with him a secret from the other guy, and then they get nervous and in their nervousness, decide the test might be wrong. Is that what's going on here?)
Since you said in a different post that your period arrived on the 5th, the "fertile period" of June 12 to 18th that you name here isn't going to be quite right even on its face. It would be more like June 14 through 20th, if you take into account the average lifespan of sperm, an average woman's 2 weeks from day 1 of last period to ovulation, and the average viability length of an egg, and a target date for ovulation based on average cycles would be more like the 19th.
But unless you were using an ovulation predictor kit, you can't even be certain of any specific date for ovulation no matter how you count out the "fertile period." (And even if you were using an ovulation predictor kit, it could only tell you when you have a hormone surge that should lead to ovulation within a day.) The problem with assuming an ovulation day based on averages is that you don't know that this average applies to you.
Anyway, you tested with the DDC. They are a reliable lab and have ruled out the first guy. Unless you want to do a "discreet" test with Ravgen (you send in the second guy's toothbrush or a swab from the edge of a drinking glass) for further big expense, take DDC's answer as correct. Saying "what if? what if? what if?"when you have an answer from a reputable lab will only drive you nuts.
Since you said in a different post that your period arrived on the 5th, the "fertile period" of June 12 to 18th that you name here isn't going to be quite right even on its face. It would be more like June 14 through 20th, if you take into account the average lifespan of sperm, an average woman's 2 weeks from day 1 of last period to ovulation, and the average viability length of an egg, and a target date for ovulation based on average cycles would be more like the 19th.
But unless you were using an ovulation predictor kit, you can't even be certain of any specific date for ovulation no matter how you count out the "fertile period." (And even if you were using an ovulation predictor kit, it could only tell you when you have a hormone surge that should lead to ovulation within a day.) The problem with assuming an ovulation day based on averages is that you don't know that this average applies to you.
Anyway, you tested with the DDC. They are a reliable lab and have ruled out the first guy. Unless you want to do a "discreet" test with Ravgen (you send in the second guy's toothbrush or a swab from the edge of a drinking glass) for further big expense, take DDC's answer as correct. Saying "what if? what if? what if?"when you have an answer from a reputable lab will only drive you nuts.
5 Comments
So there is another guy ,I was too embarrassed to say.But he would be considered guy C but in this case Guy A was ruled out so now he is guy B.I slept with three men,the one I slept with in the 13th turned out to not be the father so that only leaves me with two other options.The guy I slept with on the 17th is my current boyfriend but we had a big fight and broke up and I slept with another guy on the 20th.So yes,I don’t want my current boyfriend to find out.
Can you test with Guy C or are you not in touch with him? That would be the simplest way.
If this is your situation:
Guy A -- sex on the 13th, ruled out as dad by DNA test
Guy B -- sex on 17th, prefer not to tell about needing to test
Guy C -- sex on the 20th, not yet tested
and if you can put together the money, the easiest thing to do is to test with Guy C to rule him out the way you were able to rule out Guy A. (Incidentally, get tested for STDs also, if all this sex was unprotected.) Of course, prenatal DNA testing is not cheap, so you'd also have to come up with the budget to do it. But maybe the guy would be glad to try to get ruled out, and would at least split the cost with you 50/50.
The next easiest thing to do would be to test with Guy B, using a discreet test from Ravgen. That again involves some serious coin, but at least you would know now. It also involves the obligation of you telling him what happened, if you learn he's not the father.
The next easiest thing to do is get a DNA test once the baby comes. It's a lot cheaper than prenatal testing, and it will be legally admissible to determine paternity if you ever go after anyone for child support.
Those are the easy things to do. But the best thing to do would be to test with both guys who are left, so one gets a positive and the other gets a negative. That way, their tests back each other up, and you can be sure of what you're dealing with.
I don't know your relationship with your boyfriend, but in this situation if I were the boyfriend, I guess I would also vote for some transparency. The two of you were having problems and you acted out. You don't think he deserves to know this, and to know there is at least a question of who might be the father? I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but if I were a guy in this situation and were being led to believe I was about to become a dad, I'd be all the madder for finding out later rather than earlier. You made some mistakes, but now you're compounding his future anger if you ever have to reveal the situation. I guess (if you someday have to reveal to him the need to do a DNA test) you could say you didn't think the dates added up and it never crossed your mind to wonder if he was the dad, but frankly you might be headed for a big mess if you don't come clean.
Guy A -- sex on the 13th, ruled out as dad by DNA test
Guy B -- sex on 17th, prefer not to tell about needing to test
Guy C -- sex on the 20th, not yet tested
and if you can put together the money, the easiest thing to do is to test with Guy C to rule him out the way you were able to rule out Guy A. (Incidentally, get tested for STDs also, if all this sex was unprotected.) Of course, prenatal DNA testing is not cheap, so you'd also have to come up with the budget to do it. But maybe the guy would be glad to try to get ruled out, and would at least split the cost with you 50/50.
The next easiest thing to do would be to test with Guy B, using a discreet test from Ravgen. That again involves some serious coin, but at least you would know now. It also involves the obligation of you telling him what happened, if you learn he's not the father.
The next easiest thing to do is get a DNA test once the baby comes. It's a lot cheaper than prenatal testing, and it will be legally admissible to determine paternity if you ever go after anyone for child support.
Those are the easy things to do. But the best thing to do would be to test with both guys who are left, so one gets a positive and the other gets a negative. That way, their tests back each other up, and you can be sure of what you're dealing with.
I don't know your relationship with your boyfriend, but in this situation if I were the boyfriend, I guess I would also vote for some transparency. The two of you were having problems and you acted out. You don't think he deserves to know this, and to know there is at least a question of who might be the father? I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but if I were a guy in this situation and were being led to believe I was about to become a dad, I'd be all the madder for finding out later rather than earlier. You made some mistakes, but now you're compounding his future anger if you ever have to reveal the situation. I guess (if you someday have to reveal to him the need to do a DNA test) you could say you didn't think the dates added up and it never crossed your mind to wonder if he was the dad, but frankly you might be headed for a big mess if you don't come clean.
I tested Guy C ,he wasn’t the father.So I assume it’s my boyfriend who is Guy B
I'm glad you got an answer about Guy C.
Is the baby due in March? One thing to consider doing, and if the baby hasn't come yet it is easiest to do it right at the hospital when the baby is born, is a DNA test with Guy B (your boyfriend). After the baby comes, DNA testing is about ten times cheaper than prenatal tests, and the important reason to do it is that it will confirm the baby's legal rights to his or her father.
If your boyfriend doesn't know about Guy A and Guy C and you want to keep it that way, some night when you're snuggled together on the sofa, tell him you think it's a good legal safeguard for the baby if a DNA test is done with him. Point out that if a couple is married, the law considers the husband to be the father automatically. But since you two aren't married, it won't, and for the baby's sake, you want a DNA test confirming who its father is in the baby's record in case you two ever break up. Then shut your mouth and let him digest that fully-loaded statement. The first word he'll have heard is "married," and he'll have begun to secretly fear that you're about to pressure him to get married. Then when he realizes you're not, he'll be relieved. Then he might be glad you're offering, because his buddies have probably been leaning on him to ask you for a DNA test just in case, and he hadn't wanted to be insulting but kind of thought it was a good idea. Then, on reflection, he might even be a bit indignant that you are apparently planning in advance for him to run out on his obligations to his child. In the middle of all those interesting ideas, one thing that probably won't occur to him is that you also have your own reasons for wanting to know for totally sure.
Again, because you two aren't married and even if you had had no other sexual partners ever, you should ask for a DNA test with the father because it protects the baby's legal rights. If you test right when the baby is born and it is noted in the baby's medical record, that is it, done. Child support will be much easier to claim, if you ever need to. (And I sincerely hope you never do need to. :-) )
Is the baby due in March? One thing to consider doing, and if the baby hasn't come yet it is easiest to do it right at the hospital when the baby is born, is a DNA test with Guy B (your boyfriend). After the baby comes, DNA testing is about ten times cheaper than prenatal tests, and the important reason to do it is that it will confirm the baby's legal rights to his or her father.
If your boyfriend doesn't know about Guy A and Guy C and you want to keep it that way, some night when you're snuggled together on the sofa, tell him you think it's a good legal safeguard for the baby if a DNA test is done with him. Point out that if a couple is married, the law considers the husband to be the father automatically. But since you two aren't married, it won't, and for the baby's sake, you want a DNA test confirming who its father is in the baby's record in case you two ever break up. Then shut your mouth and let him digest that fully-loaded statement. The first word he'll have heard is "married," and he'll have begun to secretly fear that you're about to pressure him to get married. Then when he realizes you're not, he'll be relieved. Then he might be glad you're offering, because his buddies have probably been leaning on him to ask you for a DNA test just in case, and he hadn't wanted to be insulting but kind of thought it was a good idea. Then, on reflection, he might even be a bit indignant that you are apparently planning in advance for him to run out on his obligations to his child. In the middle of all those interesting ideas, one thing that probably won't occur to him is that you also have your own reasons for wanting to know for totally sure.
Again, because you two aren't married and even if you had had no other sexual partners ever, you should ask for a DNA test with the father because it protects the baby's legal rights. If you test right when the baby is born and it is noted in the baby's medical record, that is it, done. Child support will be much easier to claim, if you ever need to. (And I sincerely hope you never do need to. :-) )
I’m confused. I thought you had your answer.
2 Comments
There was another guy unfortunately,I was being careless.The first guy who is slept with,who I considered Guy A turns out to not be the father.The guy who I slept with on the 17th is my current boyfriend.And the guy I slept with on the 20th was just a friend.I’m just trying to see if would it be even possible for the guy who I slept with on the 20th because my fertile window ended on the 18th and I ovulated on the 17th.
But, nothing you have said proves you ovulated on the 17th. It sounds like you might have ovulated on the 19th.
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