Aa
Who would I be pregnant from?
So my period started on June 1 and lasts about 5 days. I had sex with partner 1 on odd days of the month 13,15,17,19 and laid in bed for about 20 min after. He also has low sperm count and has been on clomid for about 4 months. Partner 2 touched the outside of my vagina but I believe was only Pre-*** but I’m not 100 sure. I know he def did not ejaculate at all. What do I do??
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think you will find answers that you can have confidence in. Your odds were not high of it being a disaster, but since it would have apparently been a disaster to some extent if things were not as you hope, you are smart to test.
4 Comments
Thanks for all your help
Should I have done both people? Because I had one swab and one toothbrush. I know if it’s not one, it’s the other. And the toothbrush is $200 more and a day more to wait. I told them just to test the swab cause I know if it’s not him it’s the other.
What often happens is that a woman tests the 'wrong' guy (because she doesn't want to admit to her live-in or husband or boyfriend that there is a need to test) and if she gets a positive, she knows that is the answer. But if she gets a negative for the wrong guy, she is relieved at first but then it begins to eat at her. She begins asking "what if the test was ... wrong ?!?!?!" That is why I always (and repeatedly) tell women to test with both guys. One guy's positive will confirm the other guy's negative.
I'm puzzled at you asking if you should have done both people. If you will read back through every one of the posts on your thread, you will see I suggested testing with both guys about sixty billion times.
COMMUNITY LEADER
(Be sure the fee *is* not merely for your local lab to draw the blood. You don't want to be stuck for further fees from the lab to whom they ship the samples for analysis.)
14 Comments
Okay so I redownloaded my period tracker. And my LMP started May 31. Which means I had sex on the 10,12,14,16(I have hearts on those days) with #1. Those days were odd days (11,13,15,17 days of my cycle). I laid for 20 min and then came in contact with the #2 guy on June 17 which would have been day 18 (same situation).. do you think any of my info changed from previous?
Here is what I said before. "Your March 8 due date gives you an estimated conception date of around June 15. But since your ultrasound was in your 8th week, it will have a margin for error of +/- 2-3 days. This means you can't rule June 17 totally as the day you conceived. That means you have to look at how even your months are, do you have a period exactly every ___ days?" And later you said oh yeah, I have my period come every 28 days, but you didn't say you have years of records and it has never varied by as much as one day. If you knew that your ovulation was on the 14th day of your cycle without fail, you could assume the 17th was too late. But if it's just "oh yeah, sure, my periods come every 28 days, right ..." or even if your body just decided to have a change and ovulated a little late this once, then you can't rule out the sex on the 17th. Your sexual events were too close together to be certain. You had more sex with one guy than the other and he produced more sperm and so on and so forth. But your sexual events are too close together to be able to rule out the guy on the 17th for 100% sure.
29,27,26 days were the length between first day of cycles. 26 days was the last one. I’m going to get this test done.. but not sure with who to go with. My local lab who will send everything off. Not sure what questions to ask them bc I have been bombarding them with questions or DDC.
Would you test with both men? (Would you do so if you could only without one knowing?) Because testing with both men is the only way to be totally certain.
I guess I should also ask, what are the consequences if you tested with only one guy and went with a lab that had a 19 out of 55 rating, and then the test was wrong? Are you planning on having this baby anyway? If so, go with whatever lab you like. If it's more life-and-death than that, I'd use Ravgen and test with both guys.
It’s kind of life or death... I’m not sure if both would be willing though.
By life and death, I meant that sometimes women do the testing with Ravgen or the DDC because if the baby is from the wrong dad, an abortion is in the offing. If you would not go that route no matter who the dad is, it is less serious for you to need to go to the extreme of prenatal testing. All it would do is satisfy your curiosity sooner and provide you certainty sooner.
I think I am sure who it is.. because the one guy said I wouldn’t even let him touch me (I can’t remember that far back) but I need to be certain. Ravgen told me today that it would be $950 if I wanted 3 week results but more expensive the sooner I wanted them and that I only had to test with 1 person.
You don’t recommend her to go to Ddc ? Why ?
I was merely telling her that if I were in this position I'd go to Ravgen and test with both guys. That's not a slam on the DDC.
I did it with Ravgen.
Is there a difference between the 2?
The difference would be if someone wanted to do "discreet" testing on their live-in or main boyfriend or husband, Ravgen offers it and from what people report, DDC does not.
So I did one swab and one discreet. Hopefully I will find answers from that. My place here also sends their stuff to ravgen to be processed but I will see next week.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Your March 8 due date gives you an estimated conception date of around June 15. But since your ultrasound was in your 8th week, it will have a margin for error of +/- 2-3 days. This means you can't rule June 17 totally as the day you conceived. That means you have to look at how even your months are, do you have a period exactly every ___ days? (Like, exactly every 28 days or exactly every 30 days or whatever?) Or is it more random? I have heard you say that Partner 2 did not enter you but touched the outside of your vagina with his penis. Cannot assure you that this was enough to protect you from getting pregnant but it definitely makes it more difficult.
15 Comments
I do have a period of 28 days each month. And I could have gotten pregnant from him even if he didn’t ejaculate?
It is possible to get pregnant from contact of the erect penis and the vagina, whether or not the guy ejaculates. Obviously if the contact is brief, the chances of the person who did not ejaculate being the dad are less than the odds for the one who did ejaculate. But yes, there can be sperm in pre-ejaculatory fluid, if the man had ejaculated relatively recently before the sex with you. (Wet dream, masturbation, sex with someone else.) I'd say the odds are slim. I assume you know that there are prenatal DNA tests? They are very costly but you could possibly do one if this is a life and death issue.
Yes, I am just researching them. They do them near me which is nice, but its $1200. She said they are 99.99% accurate if they are the father and 0% if they are not.
Be very careful that you don't fall in with one of the charlatan so-called labs that advertise heavily on the Internet. They are notorious for being inaccurate or just losing your tests. Hate to say it but $1,200 sounds pretty cheap. Try the DDC or Ravgen for reliable results.
It’s a lab where I live and you go and do blood work and a swab. ITs a DNA paternity place.
She said she uses an accredited lab.
I've heard a lot of weird stories from people who went in and gave a sample and the place was unwilling to say what lab processed it, and then they got answers they didn't trust or got no answer at all. Please take it seriously when I say go to a nationally well-respected lab, and the only two that have ever gotten good reviews on this site from the many women who write in are Ravgen and the DDC. Look on their websites, you will see your samples can be collected locally. And please do what you can to test with both guys. I get LOTS of letters from women demanding reassurance after they did a prenatal DNA test, because they only tested with one guy and are then afraid the test results might be wrong. Testing with both guys gives you a positive for one guy and a negative for the other, and the one backs up the other. If you think you cannot test with both because you don't want your regular guy to find out about the other guy, Ravgen does something called "discreet" testing using a toothbrush or swab from the edge of a drinking glass.
Anyway, don't waste $1,200 on a lab you don't even know who does the lab work for. "An accredited lab," what does that even mean? There is no lab that does prenatal DNA testing whose tests are accepted by the court, it is too complicated and hard to do well and there are too many fakes out there for the courts to accept prenatal tests. If you wait until the baby is born, the cost is much less and there are lots of labs out there accredited by the courts to do DNA testing on a baby that's already born and the possible dads. But prenatal testing is a different kettle of fish, and I'd hate to see you throw your money away.
Anyway, don't waste $1,200 on a lab you don't even know who does the lab work for. "An accredited lab," what does that even mean? There is no lab that does prenatal DNA testing whose tests are accepted by the court, it is too complicated and hard to do well and there are too many fakes out there for the courts to accept prenatal tests. If you wait until the baby is born, the cost is much less and there are lots of labs out there accredited by the courts to do DNA testing on a baby that's already born and the possible dads. But prenatal testing is a different kettle of fish, and I'd hate to see you throw your money away.
Do you think Ravgen is a good choice?
If I were to have to do a prenatal test, I would test with both men, and I would use Ravgen. They are definitely the gold standard for this kind of test.
Our medical staff is available by phone or email to help guide you through the process of ordering a test, providing a sample, and understanding your results. We are in partnership with the DDC- DNA Diagnostic Center Laboratory, Universal Forensics, Alere eScreen, USDTL, Ravgen, and Oxford Diagnostic Laboratories so we maintain the highest level of credentials (AABB). This means that we provide you with test results that are court admissible, and we guarantee 100% accurate Chain of Custody. Our Technical experts are available to interpret your test results. We also available for depositions or expert testimony.
This is what the place has on their site.
This is what the place has on their site.
They are saying they guarantee "100% accurate Chain of Custody," that means they guarantee they won't lose or switch the samples. But they aren't saying they guarantee 100% accurate results. And they are sure dropping a lot of names of labs. I would like to see them come out and say "Our prenatal DNA tests are run by [name of lab]". Being "in partnership" with [name] could mean they have joined the same professional association and go to the same conventions. It doesn't say anything about their quality. One woman wrote here about six weeks ago, having dealt with a (she thought) lab in a sort of brick medical building with an arcade. They gave her results that she was pretty sure were wrong, and then they went out of business. Watch out for storefront-style operations. The language in the website is not promising what you want to see them promise, and that would be, that they have had near-perfect accuracy in test results.
Easy to find out. Just phone both Ravgen and the DDC (they are the labs with the best reputations) and ask them if they process tests for _______ (name of the place you are talking about). Ask them what it means when this place says they are "in partnership" with them. I think the DDC charges $1600-1700 (this is from what women have reported) and Ravgen charges a bit more than that, if you simply call them directly. It would be hard to imagine them processing tests for another lab for so much less than they charge themselves.
Easy to find out. Just phone both Ravgen and the DDC (they are the labs with the best reputations) and ask them if they process tests for _______ (name of the place you are talking about). Ask them what it means when this place says they are "in partnership" with them. I think the DDC charges $1600-1700 (this is from what women have reported) and Ravgen charges a bit more than that, if you simply call them directly. It would be hard to imagine them processing tests for another lab for so much less than they charge themselves.
I guess that the other possibility is that the place you are talking about is a collection point for Ravgen, the DDC, and other labs. I know that those labs do have relationships all over the globe where someone could go and have a lab tech take their samples, which are then forwarded to Ravgen or the DDC. (Or Natera, which I think but don't quote me on this, might be the DDC's main processing lab.) The only thing that puzzles me is the price. I guess it is possible someone who draws the blood for Ravgen or the DDC has the discretion to collect less than their usual fee, but it seems odd that it would be so much less.
(Be sure the fee not merely for your local lab, and then you have to pay the processing lab on top of that.)
Coastal Paternity is owned and operated by credentialed medical professionals.
We are partners with an AABB Accredited Laboratory. Our test results ARE Court Admissible.
Guaranteed Accuracy Chain -of- Custody 100%
We provide discrete and private office testing at your attorney’s office or hospital.
We offer immediate testing for newborns.
Partnership
Coastal Paternity is proud to partner with Universal Forensics Laboratory. Universal Forensics has an outstanding record of providing high quality, accurate test results. The AABB accredited laboratory, licensed to administer DNA testing for legal purposes, Universal Forensics testing methods exceeds relationship testing standards and offers unparalleled accuracy in all DNA reporting. Universal Forensics is proud to provide Testing 40+ DNA markers, which is over 175% more than other DNA labs. Coastal Paternity and Universal Forensics take customer privacy very seriously and have built safeguards into every step of our DNA testing process. All sensitive personal information will be kept secure and treated as strictly confidential by all of our team professionals.
DNA testing is one of the most important tests you’ll ever purchase. You deserve the most trusted laboratory and collection site available.
http://coastalpaternity.com/about-us.html
We are partners with an AABB Accredited Laboratory. Our test results ARE Court Admissible.
Guaranteed Accuracy Chain -of- Custody 100%
We provide discrete and private office testing at your attorney’s office or hospital.
We offer immediate testing for newborns.
Partnership
Coastal Paternity is proud to partner with Universal Forensics Laboratory. Universal Forensics has an outstanding record of providing high quality, accurate test results. The AABB accredited laboratory, licensed to administer DNA testing for legal purposes, Universal Forensics testing methods exceeds relationship testing standards and offers unparalleled accuracy in all DNA reporting. Universal Forensics is proud to provide Testing 40+ DNA markers, which is over 175% more than other DNA labs. Coastal Paternity and Universal Forensics take customer privacy very seriously and have built safeguards into every step of our DNA testing process. All sensitive personal information will be kept secure and treated as strictly confidential by all of our team professionals.
DNA testing is one of the most important tests you’ll ever purchase. You deserve the most trusted laboratory and collection site available.
http://coastalpaternity.com/about-us.html
A website that ranks these labs gave Universal Forensics a rank of "19 out of 55 for Paternity Testing."
COMMUNITY LEADER
Was the event with Partner 2 around when you might have ovulated? Have you had an ultrasound yet, and if so, did they give you a due date based on the measurements of the baby?
6 Comments
Due date is March 8. And it’s possible I was ovulating on the 17 but I’m not sure. He only touched the outside with Pre-*** and didn’t ejaculate.
So, I'm guessing here because you haven't said so, but you mean you had the sexual event with the other guy on the 17th?
Yes. I cannot remember if he had pre-*** on him.. but only barely touched the outside of me before I pushed him away. I am 8 weeks tomorrow.
OK, my first question above was whether the event with partner 2 was near to the time when you might have ovulated. To answer that, I would need to know what data you have that suggests when you ovulated. Then the second question is, have you had an ultrasound yet. Guess I need to hear if you did, and when it was, and what they said about your due date. Because it doesn't quite line up that you are 8 weeks tomorrow if you had your period on June 1 and it's the 26th today.
It might have been when I ovulated..my period started June 1, so it would have been 17 days after that. I'm not 100%. I had an ultrasound today and said I was due March 8.
They said I will be 8 weeks tomorrow... Partner 2 did not enter me at all.. but I'm not sure if any precum touched the outside of my vagina or any leaked in.
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