Is my ex faking a pregnancy?

[JDFriden]

I dated this girl for approximately eight weeks. I broke up with her approximately three and a half months ago in early-mid October because she was unnecessarily and extremely jealous to the point of significant mental instability. I gave her no reason to be jealous. A little over two months ago she starts texting me and engaging in casual conversation. At the end of the conversation she says, "I have something to tell you... But maybe I'll wait seven months." Ok. I know what you're getting at. I cut to the chase and asked if she was pregnant. She states she thinks so and that she hasn't had a period for two months. I asserted she take a pregnancy test immediately. There was lots of unusual dialogue on her part but after a while of frustrating dialogue on my part I managed to get her to at least tell me that she took a pregnancy test at my request. She states she took one and the results were negative but she refused to text me a picture of the pregnancy stick. I ignored her from then on. She would regularly text me on a weekly to bi-weekly basis just trying to engage in casual conversation but I didn't ever give her much of my time but I was nice enough to just say, "hello" on occasion.

Approximately two weeks later and she sends me another text saying, "If you had a baby girl what would you name her?" I was immediately frustrated and upset that we were going through this again after the last episode. I told her that I don't like her messing with my head and that she needs to be honest and just tell me whether or not she's pregnant. She stated she was and that the reason why she didn't tell me the first time is because she didn't want to bother me. I requested she send me a picture of her belly. She says, "I will send it tomorrow." I told her it only takes a second and to please send one now. Five minutes later she sends me a picture of a huge belly, almost full term, with stretch marks. This girl was one of the skinniest girls I've ever dated. Her waist was 24" at maximum. This was also her first pregnancy. It didn't seem right at four months for her belly to be that large. There was no face in the picture, no hands, nothing I could discern as being authentic. I told her to send me a picture with her face and belly together. She replied, "Yes, I'm pregnant!" I begged her to do it for me. She ignored me for two days. She did the same thing when I asked for a picture of the pregnancy stick.

Two days later she texts me again and tries to engage in casual conversation. "Hello... How are you?... Don't forget a jacket. It's cold out." I asked her again to please send me some type of evidence. She says she is having a baby girl and that she has ultrasound pictures. She says she also had an MD appointment in a few days. I told her to send me a picture of her face and her belly together. I told her to send me a picture of a medical report, of a doctor's appointment card, or the ultrasound. Something with her name on it. I begged and pleaded with her for evidence. She said, "Fine. I will send it to you tonight." That night... Nothing. She ignored me again. I still have no evidence that she is pregnant. She also stated that Thursday, 01/28 she would be 24 weeks pregnant. Early ultrasounds are VERY accurate. If she was 24 weeks pregnant on 01/28 that would have made her pregnant for 168 days. We first had sex on 8/14 which was 167 days ago. She would have had to have gotten pregnant during the first time we had sex. However... She had her period one month later! I remember asking about it. I told her that I was going to ask about her periods because she has never had one since we've been together. She told me that she just got over her last one the day before we had sex. Ovulation takes two weeks so it's impossible for her to have even gotten pregnant on our first time sleeping together. Add the two weeks it takes for ovulation to occur to to the four weeks after we first had sex until she got her period and that is 125 days ago. So... Where did 43 days go? You're 24 weeks pregnant but the earliest you can possibly be pregnant is 18 weeks ago. 6 weeks disappeared? Numbers don't lie.

Her time frames are way off. She has shown me no evidence amid numerous demands. Her communication is very immature. You would think she would want to involve the father and make plans for the baby. Furthermore, when we dated she told me that she was married for eight years and tried to get pregnant but couldn't. However, she stated that this was due to her husband's problem. Apparently he had a low sperm count. I am a vegan. There are studies out that vegans and vegetarians are 60% less fertile than meat eaters. I have had unprotected sex with my first three serious partners hundreds of times. Our relationships lasted a total of four years, one of them has a kid, and I never got any of them pregnant. None of them took birth control either. I always pulled out when having sex with this girl. I also checked the dating website where we met. It says her last login was yesterday. If she is an expecting mother it seems unusual that she would be looking for a date right now. Also, in her profile, under where it asks, "Do you have any children?" She responded, "No." But that can be easily overlooked. She might just be checking e-mails she was notified of from other guys and maybe never updated her profile.

I broke up with this girl because she seemed mentally unstable. She told me she loved me after only two weeks of dating. After that she would tell me she loved me regularly. When I broke up with her she said she is having the worst year of her life and felt hopeless. Then she found me and I was her hope. This is after two months and we lived an hour away and only saw each other once to twice per week. She is definitely a tad unstable to say the least. I don't know if this is an attempt to get me back, or if it's just an attempt to make me suffer, or if she's genuinely pregnant but is a horrible communicator, planner, and horrible at remembering numbers. Or her MD is horrible and doesn't know how to properly estimate the baby's age. What do you think? Is she pregnant or is she just messing with me?

[AnnieBrooke]

(In short, if you went to the length of driving an hour to see her, she would know she is winning the game if she is playing one, and you really don't want to give her that win on a silver platter.  Let her work hard at her end to try to retain your interest, and you be indifferent.)  Good luck.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'd suggest finding a way to run into her if you lived in the same neighborhood, but if you live an hour away from each other, you would just be giving her too much power to drive all the way to see her.  Assume this story is wrong on one level or another, and just wait until the day comes.  My guess is that there will be no baby or if there is one, the DNA test will show it is not yours.

[mhv]

My guess is she is messing with you.  
It may be a tad inconvenient,  but have you thought of driving to her house and knocking on the door?

[AnnieBrooke]

Do you really think this is going to get better if someone agrees with you that she is a horrible communicator or whatever?

The only way to handle this is to cheerfully (and somewhat disinterestedly) assure her that when the baby is born, you will expect to do a DNA test, and that in the meantime, you won't be answering her calls, texts or emails.  (In fact, block her.)  

Put an x on the calendar for when the baby would be born at full term based on the last time you had sex (add 266 days) and either call her then or expect her to contact you then (you can unblock her at that time).  If she does call you around that time (it kind of sounds like she won't, if you haven't been playing along in the meantime), answer that call.  

But stop this she-waves-the-flag-you-run-after-it stuff.  You will only have yourself to blame if it drives you nuts, because it is crazy for you to talk to her and let her manipulate you and speculate and wonder and be dramatic.  Let it go, let it go, let it go.  Time will show what is real.