Opinions

[Poohbear_2023]

I’m
Expecting. According to my due date I conceived sept 1st.

I had a slip up on the 29th with another guy . He pulled out plus he’s a chronic smoker . don’t know if it really affect fertility.

I got back with my partner in the 31st. We had sex a few times on the 31st. He didn’t pull out at all.

Just wanted to know the odds of it being my partner. Does it matter that my partner was the day before I conceived ?

[Poohbear_2023]

Yes ma’am they did. Sorry about getting jazzy. Just a tad bit stressed. Especially since the other guy won’t participate in an early dna.  But yes one was from a women health clinic and the other was from my private doctor within a week of each other.  I brought it up at the clinic and she said she think I’m about 80% in the clear since me and my partner was right before ovulation and the other guy lil wrigglers could have died off a little but it only take one. So I’m just hoping my guy was enough but if not I know what I have to do. Just trying to stay stress free in this situation

[AnnieBrooke]

If you conceived on the 1st, and if you had living sperm in your body from the guy on the 29th and from the guy on the 31st, it would almost just be whatever guy's sperm got to the egg. The second guy would have put more sperm in you, but the first guy could have had sperm in his pre-ejaculatory fluid, especially if he had ejaculated earlier (before the sex with you). Chronic smoker  doesn't make you infertile or no smokers would ever have kids. Your partner being the day before you conceived doesn't matter, sperm lasts in your body several days. What does matter is how accurate your notion is that you conceived on the 1st. Where did you get it, did you have an early ultrasound?

[Poohbear_2023]

I went to any clinic in my town because my main doctor wouldn’t see me till I was 8 weeks(according to my cycle) . My periods are irregular so I told her( doctor at the clinic )  I didn’t remember my last period. I had a scan and she said I measured exactly 6 weeks on Sept 29th. Conceived sept 1st. Had an appointment with my main doctor oct 7th , she knows my cycle are irregular so she automatically went with measurements which put me at 7w 1day. And also  saying I conceived sept 1st. So it match the clinic date.

[AnnieBrooke]

Then it sounds like both guys could have had living sperm in your body on the 1st. As I said already, the guy on the 31st had the opportunity to deposit more, but there are millions of sperm in one ejaculation, so if the first guy had any in his urethra from masturbation (or a wet dream) before sex with you, the pre-ejaculatory fluid could carry sperm in whether he came with you or not.

Do you have the funds to do a pre-natal paternity test with Ravgen or the DDC? If so, I would recommend it, and testing with both guys.

[Poohbear_2023]

I understand. Just was just trying to get an opinion on the chances it could be my partner's. And no I can’t afford it right now and the other guy won’t cooperate saying he don’t believe it’s his so he’s not willing to waste money. I did say I will do one with my partner after birth if the baby doesn’t look like him and just get an court order for the other guy then

[AnnieBrooke]

Yes, you do have the right to get a court order, and he would be in contempt of court if he didn't comply. Obviously the chances of the partner's sperm getting in there in a plentiful amount and in good time were excellent, you just can't rule out the other guy either because it only takes one sperm. Sorry you're in this spot.

[Poohbear_2023]

That’s what I’m hoping his sperm won the race  he does have a small advantage but like you said it only takes one so we will see. And It’s ok. I did it to myself and I accept that. Thank you for the in sight. I will remember to update in May once my son is born.  Also do you believe in the Shettles method? I looked into it but I’m not sure if it’s accurate

[AnnieBrooke]

The Shettles method is interesting in theory, but there has never been any big research project on it. With the guys so close together in time, it wouldn't be something that was useful here anyway. If you really did ovulate on the 1st, using that method you could expect a boy from either guy. Or, a girl that happened to have fast-swimming sperm. Or, you didn't really ovulate on the 1st. Too many open questions for it to be helpful to you.

[Poohbear_2023]

With you saying it’s a chance I didn’t ovulate on the 1st, even with the dating scan , would it be a chance I ovulated later or it could be either way

[AnnieBrooke]

If you're hoping maybe you "ovulated later" enough that the first guy gets ruled out by the Shettles theory, well, your ultrasounds said 6w0d and 7w1d, not 5w5d and 6w6d, as they might have if you ovulated later enough to use Shettles to try to eliminate the first guy as being the father of a boy. And on top of that, Shettles is just a theory, with the number of exceptions unknown.

I'm just saying that when you had sex with two guys really close together within the time range of conception indicated by two ultrasounds, even early ultrasounds (good as they are) can't split the difference.

The first guy pulling out would be more helpful if he knows *for sure* he hadn't had an ejaculation (in his sleep the night before or masturbated) prior to sex with you. But if there was sperm in his pre-ejaculatory fluid, the first guy possibly has a better chance because he got a head start for his sperm to be in the Fallopian tube when the egg came out. But since it's unknown where in your system the egg met the sperm, you can't even be sure of that. I'm sorry, but only a DNA test is going to answer this.

[Poohbear_2023]

Yeaaaa first off I was comparing my ovulation date to the theory. Didn’t even mention that in my question. I just wanted an opinion on how accurate the conception date is with the early ultrasound. Could it be still off by a few days in either direction. That’s all

[Poohbear_2023]

*wasnt

[AnnieBrooke]

It depends on the quality of the clinic you went to for the first ultrasound. If it was one of those places where they don't want you to get an abortion, so they do an ultrasound to persuade you, that might (only might) be less accurate than the ultrasound ordered by your private doctor. At my private doctor, for example, the ultrasound tech has a bachelor's degree in the specialty. And the HMO where I go, they send you to the hospital to get an ultrasound. I'd trust the expertise of those people and the quality of their equipment any day.

Since the two ultrasounds were both early, and they confirmed each other, you can probably rely on the date of the 1st not to be off by more than 24 hours either direction. Did they both give you the same estimated due date for the baby?

[Poohbear_2023]

Sorry about getting jazzy. Just a little on edge.  But yes both gave me 5/25 as a due date. ( clinic and private doctor) I spoke to the lady at the women clinic and she was like could be like 80% in the clear because me and my guy was the day before ovulation and the other guy swimmers( if any got in ) could have died off a little BUT it only take one so I’m just hoping that my guy came in strong but if not I know what I need to do.

[AnnieBrooke]

I was curious about only having "weeks pregnant" figures, which is why I asked what due date they gave you. Here's from Mama Natural's conception calculator:

Conception Date

The most likely conception date for a baby due on May 25, 2023 was August 31, 2022, based on a “typical” 40 week pregnancy.

Intercourse Dates

If your baby is due on May 25, 2023, intercourse was likely between August 25, 2022 and August 31, 2022. This is because sperm can live inside your body for up to a week, if the conditions are right.
_______________________________

I'm not certain why the clinic said September 1 for a due date of May 25, but it doesn't matter since you and your boyfriend had sex on August 31.

If this is driving you crazy, again, I would suggest that you consider if there might be some way you can borrow the cost of doing a prenatal test, and do one. If you don't want your boyfriend to know there's a question, Ravgen can do a "discreet" test using his toothbrush or a swab from the edge of a drinking glass.

[Poohbear_2023]

I’m not sure. Both place gave me sept 1st to count from. And both went off measurements and not lmp. And I’ve looked into the discreet test.  I’m considering it.

[Poohbear_2023]

I checked with other calculators and got approximately sept 1st. Some the 31st

[AnnieBrooke]

Which just goes to confirm that while assessment by ultrasound can provide a pretty good idea who is dad when the sex was a couple of weeks apart or ten days apart or maybe even a week, other than a DNA test the tools available aren't certain enough to tell who is the dad when the sex was only 2 days apart. In your shoes I would certainly do a DNA test.