Aa
Whose the father?
My last period was 12/14. I had sex with guy A on 12/29 and guy B on 1/2. I’m 5 weeks 6 days pregnant. My periods are usually 29-31 days. Whose the father?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, how did you get the 5 weeks 6 days figure? Was it from a doctor reading an ultrasound?
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From the Flo app
Oh. OK, well, the two guys are so close together in time that really you will only be able to even get an idea if you get an ultrasound. In fact, living sperm from the first guy would have still been in your body when you had sex with the second guy. But maybe the ultrasound (if you are lucky) would indicate a date too early to be the second guy.
The ultrasound will measure the embryo's crown-to-rump measurements, and look at other developmental markers, and will tell you when your "pregnancy time period" begins. This time period is based on the average woman's average length of her menstrual cycle, so it could seem like it won't help you, since your cycles are longer than average. But if you do get an ultrasound and write back with the due date they gave you, we can in fact work out what they think your conception date was.
Again, this won't help you a lot if the estimate comes back January 2, since sperm can live in your body 4-6 days, so both guys would have a chance to be the dad if that's the estimated conception date. But if you're lucky, the date would indicate (for example) the 29th, and that would indicate (by a very slim margin) the first guy.
Do you have access to a doctor who would do an ultrasound? The best week of pregnancy for trying to decide the conception date from the ultrasound is week 7 (counted from the first day of your last period, not from the presumed date of conception). So, in about a week.
The ultrasound will measure the embryo's crown-to-rump measurements, and look at other developmental markers, and will tell you when your "pregnancy time period" begins. This time period is based on the average woman's average length of her menstrual cycle, so it could seem like it won't help you, since your cycles are longer than average. But if you do get an ultrasound and write back with the due date they gave you, we can in fact work out what they think your conception date was.
Again, this won't help you a lot if the estimate comes back January 2, since sperm can live in your body 4-6 days, so both guys would have a chance to be the dad if that's the estimated conception date. But if you're lucky, the date would indicate (for example) the 29th, and that would indicate (by a very slim margin) the first guy.
Do you have access to a doctor who would do an ultrasound? The best week of pregnancy for trying to decide the conception date from the ultrasound is week 7 (counted from the first day of your last period, not from the presumed date of conception). So, in about a week.
(Also, when you said your last period was 12/14, I assumed you were talking about the first day of your last period. Is that right?)
Thank you so much for your response. Yes, I do have Ob. Trying to set up that ultrasound asap. I would love for it to be the first guy. He is the father of my 7 year old. (Co parenting trip gone wrong lol) and yes the first day of my last period. It lasted 4 days.
When you get the ultrasound (and seriously, try for the next week -- ultrasounds in the early days can be spot-on for dating conception, but as the pregnancy progresses they get less and less accurate, due to babies growing at different rates), anyway, when you get there, usually the nurse asks you when the first day of your last period was. To be sure your estimated due date is based on the baby's actual measurements and developmental markers, not from someone writing the first day of your last period onto your chart and looking at a little cardboard wheel, tell her you aren't sure when it was. A second-best way to do this is to say the date but tell the nurse your cycles are irregular and you don't want the period to be the number on which your due date is based, you only want the baby's ultrasound measurements to be used. (The problem with the second approach is that you can never be sure that is what the nurse will do. lol)
If you were someone with an average 28-day cycle and it never varied month in and month out for years, knowing when your last period was would be helpful to try to guess when conception had been. But with your cycles ordinarily being 29, 30 or 31 days from period to period, your next one could have come January 12, 13 or 14. (And that's "if" your cycle always comes on day 29, 30 or 31 and never any other time.) Because even women who have irregular-length cycles ovulate 14-15 days before their next period (no set number of days after their last one), you would need to count back from January 12, 13 or 14 to try to guess when conception was. And as you can see, this suggests the time period of December 29, 30, 31 and January 1 for conception. This means that trying to compute this by the calendar is not going to answer your question -- the dates are just too close. But, if you come away with an EDD (estimated due date) that was from the actual baby's actual measurements, not influenced by someone writing down the date of your last period, you can put that estimated due date into a conception calculator online, or just count back from it 266 days on a calendar. That will be a better way to try to estimate the estimated conception date because it's based on the baby's data and not on yours.
As I already said, if the answer comes up January 2 or 3, well, then you just have to go to the next step, and consider a DNA test (available before or after the baby comes). But I'm kind of hoping your EDD suggests it's the first guy.
If you were someone with an average 28-day cycle and it never varied month in and month out for years, knowing when your last period was would be helpful to try to guess when conception had been. But with your cycles ordinarily being 29, 30 or 31 days from period to period, your next one could have come January 12, 13 or 14. (And that's "if" your cycle always comes on day 29, 30 or 31 and never any other time.) Because even women who have irregular-length cycles ovulate 14-15 days before their next period (no set number of days after their last one), you would need to count back from January 12, 13 or 14 to try to guess when conception was. And as you can see, this suggests the time period of December 29, 30, 31 and January 1 for conception. This means that trying to compute this by the calendar is not going to answer your question -- the dates are just too close. But, if you come away with an EDD (estimated due date) that was from the actual baby's actual measurements, not influenced by someone writing down the date of your last period, you can put that estimated due date into a conception calculator online, or just count back from it 266 days on a calendar. That will be a better way to try to estimate the estimated conception date because it's based on the baby's data and not on yours.
As I already said, if the answer comes up January 2 or 3, well, then you just have to go to the next step, and consider a DNA test (available before or after the baby comes). But I'm kind of hoping your EDD suggests it's the first guy.
Thank you so much for your help. I’m stressing. I keep using these online calculators and of course every website gives me different number and dates . I will tell the nurse that I don’t when my last period was so that I can get a more accurate conception date. Thank you so much. I will keep you updated.
Please do.
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