Am I right or wrong in saying I won't get better?

[MattMVS7]

I am having severe chronic anhedonia that is there all the time as a result of a panic disorder and there are never brief moments of any pleasure.  Now before anyone tells me that it will get better, I know that you would be compassionate and such in telling me that my anhedonia will get better and that many people have gotten better and even gotten over it, but I feel that it might not get better for me and there are 3 reasons I wish for you to address which are reasons why I feel that my anhedonia will never get better:

1.)  Anhedonia can be a complete physiological change in the brain as a result of stress and not any negative thought causing it.  For this very reason, it tends to linger on and not get better for many people despite every possible treatment.  This is unlike depression because, for me, depression is just a normal response to a problem in life that passes over time.

2.)  I'm thinking that if my anhedonia is not just simply a physiological change in the brain, then there is an obsessive thought that's there all the time that is causing my anhedonia to be there all the time.  That thought would be me feeling uncomfortable allowing myself to experience these panic attacks from this panic disorder that is currently numbed by this anhedonia at the moment.  If, let's pretend, that I were to feel completely comfortable, then that would be likely to bring back my panic disorder and my ability to experience pleasure as a result.  But since I feel that I will never feel completely comfortable with such a thing (nor do I think any human being would either), this is the reason why I feel my anhedonia will never get better.  

I do know for a fact that as my anhedonia goes down, my panic returns.  I know this because in the beginning when my anhedonia was mild, there were moments in which it somehow went down and my panic returned as a result.  But now my anhedonia is severe and there are never such moments.  Also, even if my panic disorder were to be significantly reduced to an extremely small amount of fear, I would still feel uncomfortable and my anhedonia would still remain the same and not be better.  I know this for a fact as well because there are moments where the thoughts that cause panic from my panic disorder aren't there, but my anhedonia still remains the same and does not ease up.  So it's clear, I think, that my mind just simply feels uncomfortable no matter what and is not going to allow my anhedonia to ever get better.

3.)  My anhedonia had to shut down (numb) both my fear from my panic disorder as well as my ability to experience pleasure for a very important reason.  It could not just shut down my fear and allow me to experience pleasure.  This would be because if my ability to experience pleasure were to be left on while my fear is shut down, that would cause serious problems such as seizures and such.  Since this obsessive thought of me feeling uncomfortable having panic might be the cause of my fear being shut down and does not allow the fear to return to any degree at all, this is the reason why I feel that my pleasure can't return to any degree either because, again, if my pleasure were to return to any degree at all while my fear remains fully shut down as it is now, then that would cause those serious problems I mentioned and the brain would never allow such problems to happen because that is just how the mind works to protect you.  So this is why I feel that no amount of positive thinking or focusing on other things in life is going to return my ability to experience pleasure to any degree as long as my fear remains shut down as it is now.

Now I realize that it is just human nature that thinking positive and focusing on other positive things in life helps ease up obsessive negative thoughts.  But I feel that this is not the case for me and that this obsessive thought that is causing my anhedonia will always be there and never ease up no matter what.  No matter how much I think positive and focus on other things over time, that does not ease up this obsessive thought (my anhedonia).  This is because panic attacks are such frighful experiences that my mind cannot possibly let go of this obsessive thought of me not feeling comfortable having them no matter how much I think positive and focus on other things and such over time.  Not even the medication I'm on is easing up my anhedonia (this obsessive thought) and I'm not sure if any medication will either because a panic disorder, for me, is where there are these other obsessive thoughts that cause the panic to happen.  

Therefore, if I am treatment resistant in terms of these other obsessive thoughts pertaining to this panic disorder (which I'm thinking I really am and is something that isn't getting better on its own), then wouldn't that also mean I am treatment resistant in terms of this obsessive thought that is causing my anhedonia and that my anhedonia will also never get better?  This is a very important question I wish to know even despite the fact that I have not yet tried every treatment available and everything else. Another very important question I wish to know is if the mind can somehow significantly or fully recover the ability to experience pleasure from anhedonia while the fear still remains fully shut down anyway in such a way that doesn't result in those serious problems I've mentioned.

[Kermit the Hermit]

there is no such way as permanent or unchangeable

its do we want the hard work and effort it takes

you mentioned counseling thats a very good start and place to stay also shrinks for meds

simple things what makes you happy focus on that keep focusing till it drifts away

music that relaxes you in a low light very quiet room

parks take your mind as far away as you can give yourself new things to think and focus and focus less on worry and what ifs

meditation self hypnoses centering your mind we control our minds its just saying it believing it and working our butts of doing it

good luck

[Bubulous]

I like this saying:
The man who says he can and the man who says can't are both right.
I read your post and realize that you are very self aware and I think that is great.  It makes sense to me and I can say that I understand somewhat.  I have a very close friend that suffers from chronic anxiety and that rant that you just went on reminds me of him so much.  He has not been diagnosed with anhedonia so he has not I guess for lack a better term "shut down" like you have.  I have no experience with helping people with anhedonia but I can tell you that if the demon you are going to have to fight in order to make the anhedonia better is chronic anxiety and panic attacks stemming from obsessive thought patterns there is hope.  I worked with my friend and watched as he shed a lot of his fear of society and his insecurities but I will say it was very difficult.  He moved in with me after he lost his job and at that time his anxiety was so bad he could not even drive a vehicle from my apt to the gas station which was just a few hundred yards away.