Anyone else feel like this?

[LilyGoblin]

I am a 35 year old female. I am currently extremely depressed. I basically wake up, go to work, and then can't wait to come home and go back to bed again. I have been dealing with depression since I was a teenager, but this latest episode I haven't been able to shake. While I am at work, I have a horrible time with what I think are 'anxiety attacks'. I am currently taking 100mg of Zoloft. Today I feel even worse - just the anxiety makes me think of committing suicide just to stop it. I have been very worried about my health for the past couple of months and that is what is causing my anxiety. I have been to the doctor and I don't know what else to do. I feel so isolated. I guess I am just looking for some advice... or just want to know that I am not alone.

[Hiformbrad]

Hang in there. I am currently on the exact same meds as you and I have found them to be someone helpful, especially with the panic attacks. I have been forcing myself to exercise and found that it helps greatly.

[LilyGoblin]

Thanks. I need to start forcing myself to exercise too.

[LilyGoblin]

Honestly, it was so difficult for me to even find a therapist the last time I went to one. I just don't have the energy or funds at the moment to deal with that right now. Not to mention the long wait time of a new patient.

[AnxiousNoMore]

Are y support groups you can go t? Perhaps a book dealing with your depression and health worry that you mentioned?
my earlier question was unanswered. You said you worried about your health the last few months. Is there a diagnosed possibility of health danger or is it just worry that something might be wrong?

[LilyGoblin]

For some reason, my browser keeps going to a weird version of medhelp and my reply to you was put in another comment.

I have tried Paxil, Prozac and Cymbalta. Paxil stopped working. Prozac made me angry. Cymbalta really helped but made my eyes dilate.
Zoloft has always helped me in the past so I continue to stay on it.
I have been having vision problems but so far they can't find anything wrong with me. That is what is giving me the intense anxiety.

[LilyGoblin]

I have a couple books right now on cognitive behavioral therapy, but so far it's not really helping.
Even if I was diagnosed with something or not, this is no way to go about life, at least I try to tell myself that. Ugh.

[AnxiousNoMore]

Well if the eye problem is not diagnosable to this point in time, I can understand why that would cause anxiety and depression.
Are you sure the Cymbalta made your eyes dilate? Did your doc agree this was happening?  

[LilyGoblin]

Yes the dilation of my pupils was obvious and it stopped after I quit taking Cymbalta.  

[LilyGoblin]

I have tried Paxil, Prozac and Cymbalta. Paxil stopped working. Prozac made me angry. Cymbalta really helped but made my eyes dilate.
Zoloft has always helped me in the past so I continue to stay on it.
I have been having vision problems but so far they can't find anything wrong with me. That is what is giving me the intense anxiety.

[Paxiled]

Never give up on trying to find the right therapist.  It may never happen, but meds don't cure, they just reduce the symptoms.  If you do find a therapist that clicks with you, and there's no guarantee of this, you'll be rid of it.

[LilyGoblin]

I am sorry you feel like this too.

[AnxiousNoMore]

There are 41 million Zoloft prescriptions per year so you are definitely not alone. How many other meds have you tried, because often it takes a while to find the right one? Is there a real possibility of health danger or are you just not able to get the worry out of your mind?

you are definitely not alone LilyGoblin.  I feel the same exact way.  The only thing is when I'm at work I am fine for the most part and am able to focus on most days, its when I get off that I have major anxiety.  I basically feel I have no control over my life at all.  I only sleep an average of about 2 to 3 hours a night.  The thought of death is sometimes there for me, but then I think about my children and know that death is not an option.  On most days I go straight home and get in the bed.  I literally have to make myself keep moving on most days.  To meet me in public you would think that I am the happiest person in the world, but I have perfected the "act of being happy" I call it.  I have been to counseling and I think the doctor was crazier than I am and really left feeling like I was worse than when I started because here I was explaining my life to yet another person that just didn't understand or get it.  I currently take Xanax .25 mg twice a day and truthfully I don't see a difference.  I just try to take things one day at a time and make the next day better than the day before.  When I have a bad day I pray and ask God to give me the strength to start fresh the next day.

[LilyGoblin]

Hello, yes I have in the past but I am not currently seeing a therapist right now. In my experience it didn't really have an effect on me but maybe I should try again? My anxiety is always much worse in the morning. I am not sure why.

[Paxiled]

Ever sought therapy?