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Avatar universal

Break up depression

Well my girlfriend and I had been together for 2 years when it happened.  We met online and had wonderful time together.  I love her more than anything.  Yet I can be stupid sometimes.  We had initally broken up 6 months ago.  She felt I wasnt motivated enough and felt as though she was in a rut.  I changed myself because I wanted to be more motivated and I was.  When she took me back we were happier than ever.  Everything seriously was great.  
Well to tell this story right I first must say that i work at a bar.  While working there was another girl who would alwasy look at me.  I found out that she liked me.  anyway we started to talk and we exchanged IM's.  one night we were talking and I thought to myslef "maybe I could get this girl to send me a naked pic since she likes me"  I know its stupid but it is what happened.  So i was talking to her and trying to get her worked up.  It basically turned into cyber sex.  In the middle of it though it hit me.  What was I doing?  So i stopped the conversation and told the girl i dont want to talk anymore.  I went straight to my girlfriends house and told her what had happend.  She first said that it was ok.  but later that night she told me how upset she was.  two days later she sent me a text saying that she cant get over it and that we are done.  its been a month now since we broke up and the days are still long and very difficult.  All I do is think of her.  I will just cry.  I try and get myslef to do things.  I will go to the gym and hangout with friends but every night it all comes back to me.  Its like I dont know what to do anymore.  I know she loves me.  She had told me in a text "as much as I want to be with you...my brain tells me I desevre someone who doesnt do that."  I feel horrible for what i did.  I casued her and myself so much pain.  Is there anyone who has any words of advise?  tips?  or if you have any questions feel free to ask.
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Avatar universal
Talk it over with friend and let it out. It sounds like you are having a hard time
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Avatar universal
wow that was some good advise.  I really like what you had to say.  I do understand why she did what she did.  but it hurts me knowing that i caused this.  I have tried a few times not to talk to her and each time i end up failing and messaging her.  BUt everytime I do i just end up crying and in more pain.  So you are right I do need to just leave her be.  Thank you.
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Avatar universal
I think you should tell her that you understand how she feels and will respect those feelings and not bother her anymore, and stand by these words.  If she truly loves you and there is just a glimmer of her wanting to work thru this, then your absence will make it happen.  She needs to "miss you" so that she can think about everything.  Your absence may make her realize that she can get over this, if not, then you just have to accept that it's over, learn by it and move on.  I know it hurts, but you'll find love again and be happy if it doesn't.  Sometimes, the more we reach for someone, the more they pull away and this may be what is happening.  Always remember that how women view sexual activities and how men view them are different.  We have to feel an emotional attachment, where men don't, so it hurts us deeply because of how we think.  Give her space and if it's meant to happen it will.  Take care....
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Avatar universal
Well thats part of the problem.  We have talked and she just doesnt want to work through it.  And it kills me.  I know we can work through it. but she is just unwilling.  
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1249985 tn?1271853175
talk and work through it
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