Yes of course I will talk to you. I know how you are feeling, as does everybody here. I had depression for 30 years and have been on many different anti depressants. I too have been in a psychiatric hospital. Took an overdose once, but glad I survived.
18 months ago I managed to wean off anti depressants. I am old now and glad I am managing. I battled long and hard against depression. It is worth the battle however hard it is. I get down days, but not as bad as it used to be.
I don't know what else we can do except not let the illness win. Keep fighting.
Seems you are less than well? Having been in Psycho. Hospitals a few times & tried most of the medication's I believe that you can be relieved of your rotten thoughts & restored to happiness that's hard for you to believe at present. If there's no empathy with whoever is treating you find another one. Saying " don't despair is as useless as saying don't worry " Try to imagine yourself being well & try to stay active!
It's like every time I think I'm moving forward I take two steps back .... I don't wanna be here anymore