male depression

[kdfa386tc]

This may sound crazy but i am soooooooo depressed and feeling like I am at the edge of life.  I am a 56 year old male, been married for 36 years to my wife but I am so sad!  I got my hair cut, no one noticed, I am so sad, I received a certificate for an accomplishment earlier this year I had been working on for some time. When I opened the letter congratulating me I broke down and cried with joy for 20 minutes. My wife was at work at the time and I texted her which she noted congratulations to me and we would celebrate.  She forgot about celebrating. A guy isn't supposed experience this!  Over 20 years ago my wife got her tubes cut and tied, we had questions the day of the operation about whether to do this or not and the doctor just walked out of the room ignoring us. All that was required for the surgery was her to sign a release the day before the operation. They really don't give a sh...t  about the guy.  However if you go to get a Vasectomy the wife has to sign off on the procedure.  It wasn't like we had scheduled before and cancelled either. Upon my insistance we had several meeting with the doctor after she had this done and found out the doctor had confused us with another couple.  We have 2 very healthy boys that we're proud of but I had always pictured myself ever since I can remember with a larger family. We did go to a specialist a couple of years after she had the surgery to talk to a doctor about reversing the tubal ligation but we didn't go through with it. I wish we had!!  I am so sad because of not speaking up for how I felt that I have many days that I could just end my life. I have been to a head shrink a few years after she had her tubes done. A guy is suposed to be happy when his wife can't have kids any more but the weight of this keeps getting heavier and heavier!  I have thought about writing a letter to the doctor that performed the tubal ligation and letting him know the damage he has caused by being too concerned with his schedule. It has wrecked my life totally.  The thought of leaving my wife has never even entered my mind. I am so sad over this hasty decision on the surgery. I have recently brought up the thought that even though we are in our 50's, let's get the surgery reversed now! She just goes on I guess hoping this will pass but it just keeps lingering. Has any one else ever felt like this?

[CRSeaside]

You sound 100% better. So happy to hear  your joy. Have a wonderful Holiday. Your friend. Pamela

[kdfa386tc]

Great news this week!   I have located a legitimate clinic that specializes in tubal reversals.  They will look at my wife's medical records to confirm that a reversal could be done. This clinic would not perform the reversal if we were doing it for the sole purpose to conceive but they will consider us a candidate for reversal if the request is religious or personal. Hoping to arrange this in the first quarter of 2014. We are definitely not doing anything until the holidays are over.  This is an answer to my prayers and wishes!!

[kdfa386tc]

thank you.

[MYoungAtHeart]

We cannot get to the healthy age you are at without reflecting on our lives..
When we are younger and actively raising our families, not much time is given to reflection, it comes and goes, and thoughts usually get pushed down and life and responsibility just continues...

Something happens in our later years, with men the lowering of testosterone, that makes us highly reflective and sad in most cases.  Then we get embroiled in reliving the choices that in all honesty, can not be changed, and we get sadder and are many times ashamed of our choices and think of not living any more...

I would like to see you contact your physician and tell him/her what is going on and how you are sinking into depression and let him/her suggest a course of action for your health...Many many men go through what you are going through, and these years of your life do not need to be spent in pain and sadness now that you are finally at that age that you can reap the well deserved rewards of loving and raising your wonderful family.

I am wishing you the very best

M

[kdfa386tc]

thank you for your insight. I just feel so helpless and that no one cares.

[CRSeaside]

Hi. 1. Please concentrate on the 2 wonderful children you have now.
  I've experienced a painful situation too. I married in my late 30's.
I was prepared to have a child,but my husband said NO.
Now, I'm in my early 50's & have gone thru the change of life. Menopause.
So I still feel very young,but it's too late for me to get pregnant.
  Please get some help for your sad feelings. Your sons & your wife need you. Pamela