Hey, so I was just wondering.. two years ago my dad went to jail from a mental illness and an episode which completely changed him and caused him to do unimaginable things to anyone who actually knew him knew he'd never do. Before this, I always thought of myself as a generally happy girl. But since then I cry at least once every two days sometimes 4 times a day over nothing or just think about everything thats happened to me in my life and it makes me really upset. I feel like i'm worthless and no one would care if i disappeared, I want to sleep for the rest of my life and I noticed i've been eating alot more than I ever have before for quite a while.. Im the youngest in my household and eat twice as much as anyone else and still eat more. I never used to eat much and now I feel like I eat my feelings if that makes sense? Like food gives me comfort.. I don't know. I push everyone I have away from me, I can't talk to anyone about how I feel. I don't like the way I look, and feel like i'm bad at everything and good for nothing. I feel like I hurt the people who even try to care for me. I went to a councellor two years ago for everything with my dad and he told me after a survey thing that I may have mild depression, but I didn't even write things how I truly felt because i'm ashamed of the way I feel. Sometimes I think about death but i'd never do anything like that.I remember around the time it all happened I sat in my room all holidays crying, sleeping all day or just laying in bed unmotivated, I was always tired my grades dropped a bit, I wanted to quit my job, I never wanted to go to school.. that was the worst i'd felt. But now it's coming back I just want to give up at everything, I never want to do the things I once loved.. I never find myself extremely happy or excited for things. I am always extremely irritable I hate people touching me, looking or staring at me, I snap at people all the time and if it continues i'm going to have no one. I just want to cry all the time I don't know what to do, I should go to a doctor but I dont want my mum to find out becase I dont like talking about how I feel. I'm not sure why I feel like this, I don't know what to do? Can anyone help me.. If I went to a doctor i'm to embarrassed to tell them how I feel, and if I did and was diagnosede with depression could they give me medication to make it better? And also would my mum find out? Thankyou for reading really appreciate any help thankyou so much