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Avatar universal

Depression, Life, Christian help

Simply put I need advice/help. In January of 2007 I got in a car wreck and totaled my truck; I received a minor concussion according to the hospital. From April-July my life got completely flipped upside down and here is how. In about May I began to have chest/heart pains (I am a 19 year old male) and I ignored them for about a week, but it began to hurt really bad so I have to get checked out. I found out in the month of May that I have a minor case of scoliosis, they blamed the chest/heart pains on acid reflux (but the pain has gone away now), had a lump growing in my lower back that had to be cut out but when they cut me open the lump "vanished", might have skin cancer but not sure yet, and found out i have abnormal heartbeat rhythm of 50 bpm with skipped beats. Then in July I found out I didn't get accepted into the college I wanted to go to and 1 week later my gf of 7 months broke up with me while at a camp that we led worship for (and I had to be with her for 3 more days after the heartbreak). I never got an apology, I'm sorry, or a real explanation; and on top of that in August my ex wanted to date my best friend. And just now my aunt died on Christmas of 2008. My life has been full of let downs, heart breaks, and illness. Is the pain going to ever stop? Am I ever going to get a break? I havent had any time to work through all these problems because I have to lead worship for a youth group of 85 teens on Wednesday nights as well as Sunday mornings at a different church. Why can't I get through this? This all just seems unbearable and I don't know what to do. Any help, advice, encouragement....anything?
9 Responses
Avatar universal
It sounds like you have a heck of a lot of anxiety. Anxiety can come up in many different forms. I've been in two, both quite traumatic car accidents and I was injured in both. The most important thing you can do for yourself is talk to a therapist, maybe your pastor?  A therapist in the long run will help you through much of what is going on.  You've been through 3 of 5 of the most traumatic events happen to you in one year. Give a bit of grace to help yourself heal, take some time to take care of you. I would also talk to your family doctor about how you are feeling emotionally
424549 tn?1308515502
It is a lot that can happen with one emotionally being involved with a car-wreckage. It isn't easy-as-that to let go of the trauma that it brings. Along with much else and other events in life, one thing leads to another. It doesn't have to be rule-straight anxiety for the chest-pain to be present. I have a spine that is a little windy and doctors have through the last years tried to give me anxiety but I blame my chestpain on uscle tensions. It doesn't have to be me being anxious and apprehensive, allthough I knwo that at times I do feel the sting after being more tensed.

follow Chick's advice and do care for yourself a little. Do you linger tensed uscles with exercise? Do you geta chance to untense tensed muscles? A spine can get so apprehensive for so many resons that it is difficult to say exactly what it is - but there are some reasons for chestpain: One of them happens to be over-stretched muscles giving warnings. Make sure that you get a good plan for exercise.

I believe that you can get a break from pain. I was chronic on the painside until I started to exercise. The benefits of exercise is that it gives natural painkillers - just give it a try! As far as the heartbeat goes, stay in touch with a doc and do what you have to do. I held off talking to someoen for 5 years until I one day got enough and this is the first winter I can brag about being AD-free ;-)

Good luck & best wishes,
Florena
Avatar universal
Thank you both for your posts, life is really tough right now. And on top of everything I am now a "young adult" having to find my place in the world and begin to think about careers, schools again, etc.
Avatar universal
It's really important that you take care of you right now, you have plenty of time. I feel you have too many expectations and maybe wearing yourself thin. There is nothing wrong with taking care of you first.
627145 tn?1230305626
You've been through a lot, but I think part of the problem is that the MDs aren't explaining things very well.  

I know that I had a lot of stress, tension and pain after a minor car accident when I was young.  I could not get it under control until I underwent relaxation therapy with biofeedback.  That taught me a lot about myself and my reaction to stress.  

Mild scoliosis should not cause you any concern if it is not crowding your heart.  I wouldn't expect mild scoliosis to do that.  

I wouldn't have been too concerned about the chest pain until you mentioned the bradycardia and skipped beats.  If you haven't seen a cardiologist and gotten an explanation in writing that you can understand, you need to do so.  A stress test should be done if you haven't already had one.    

You are so young that the breakup with your girlfriend, while upsetting, is just a normal part of life.  

Not getting into the school of your choice could turn out to be a blessing; sometimes that's how it goes.  Still, I'm sorry your plans were turned upside down.  

I'm very sorry to hear you lost your aunt.  I don't know why stressful events in life tend to clump together and get us down.  It really makes life hard to bear at times.  

I agree with LeftCoastChick that it is time to take some time for yourself to recover from all of this and get healthy.  I think with college and all those decisions on top of you, that's enough to keep you busy.  I don't think you need a lot of other responsibilities right now.  If the cardiologist okays exercise, start working out three times a week.  Protect your back with exercise now.  

641819 tn?1240325930
Troubles like this seem to often come in clumps like this and can often send you into feelings of hopelessness, anxiety and depression. That's understandable and valid. But it's not a fun place to be.

The advice that people have given you is excellent. Pain management is huge. Therapy can also be wonderful as it teaches you tools that you can apply to your everyday challenges.

As far as faith, I've come to the belief that the challenges I'm experiencing are ones to allow me to grow. I've always learned a lot from them as unpleasant as they can be. I think that's why we're here - to become wiser souls and learn from our world. While it's not a total salve, it does help for me to believe that these are happening to me for a positive reason rather than some power 'out to get me' or 'being unlucky' or 'being doomed'. Those negative cants on it just worsen it.
650547 tn?1271773198
Hi, I hope I can give you some encouragement and good advice.  It sounds like you're a young man who has a strong relationship with Christ; I think that's great!  If that's the case, I would adivse you to remember that God has promised to never leave us nor forsake us.  Even when it feels as if God isn't there for you (and believe me, I know how that feels), He's there.  I would suggest praying that God would let you feel His loving hands lifting you up during these trying times (In fact, I just prayed that for you, hope it helps!).  When I was at my lowest points, I told God, "I know you're there, but it doesn't feel like it.  I can't do this on my own; please let me feel you lifting me up."  Then talk to people, read your Bible, and/or listen to uplifting music.  I think you'll be amazed at how God can use these things to touch your life.  You sound like a very good person, but remember that bad things still happen to good people.  It's not your fault!  Consider the difficulties Job in the Bible went through; he lost literally everything but his life.  The things that happened to him weren't his fault, and God allowed Satan to do them, yet when it was all said and done, Job became a better person, and God was glorified.  I believe that God is allowing you to go through these extremely difficult times in order to strengthen you and ultimately bring glory to Him.  While that may not be an easy pill to swallow, try to think of the future (and I know that's not always easy either).  You're still young, and being a worship leader, you'll have the potential to influence and help out a lot of other people get through similar situations.  I like to think that God allowed me to go through the tough times I have in order that I could be an encouragement to others like you (I sure hope it's working!).
OK, time to get off my soapbox, LOL!  Anyway, I think Fuzzz is right that you should get the heart issue double-checked to be sure.  You may also want to ask your doctor about anti-depressants; they may be a big help for you.  Please keep us updated on how you're doing, and remember, God cares about you, and people care about you!
I don't have time to proofread this..... hope I didn't make any stupid typos!!  :-S
Avatar universal
Thank you for your encouraging reply. I just watched Louie Giglio videos on youtube and it broke me down in order for God to encourage me and for me to understand He's big enough to intimately knit me together so He is powerful enough to bring me through everything. I dont know how or when, but I know that it will come to pass. Exercise seems like a good idea, but it ***** getting back into the working out stage after its been a while. The first few weeks always are the worst it seems, but I will give it a try.
650547 tn?1271773198
I have no idea who Louie Giglio is (sorry), but glad the videos helped, LOL!  I know what you mean about the exercise.  I'm still recovering from a bad case of mono which lasted 6 months, and now I get tired just from walking up steps (I was in very good physical shape before this sickness happened).  So it definitely takes time (take it slow at first).  But it helps to know you're not alone!  God bless!
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