Depression exacerbated by Covid19 isolation

[MaxiSunshine]

So to make a long story short, just before all this started, I was diagnosed with some chronic conditions, on top of a few I already had. It made me recognize I was depressed, which I had experienced maybe twice in the past.

I got therapy, and had a few sessions and then all this hit, and I'm high risk. So I isolated myself. I live alone, single, no kids. No pets, even. Mostly, I'm introverted, and perfectly fine with this, but I'm feeling very alone.

I have tried anti-depressants in the past, and experience side effects that make me a very poor candidate for them again, and it's not something I want to pursue again.

I don't need explanations of depression, but I do need some tips or help with coping.

Can anyone help?

[Kirstie_MHModerator]

We'll leave your thread here so that you can get some feedback specific to clinical depression, but you might want to follow our Coronavirus forum as well, where people are sharing their coping techniques to deal with anxiety and isolation: https://www.medhelp.org/forums/Coronavirus/show/2203

[Paxiled]

Do you have neighbors you can talk to while still maintaining the 6 feet distance?  Do you have friends or family you can talk to on the phone?  Is your therapist making arrangements for telephone therapy?  Most of them do this for patients who are unable to come in even in "normal" times.   You don't have to have depression for this to be difficult, many people are having problems with it.  Some are not only lonely but also just scared both for lost income and of getting sick.  But unlike your chronic problems, this will eventually pass.  It's a good thing to remind ourselves.  When it does it will fade into distant memory.  Even if the disease stays around as a seasonal thing like the flu, it can only do that by becoming more mild -- diseases that kill too many of its hosts loses the hosts it needs to survive, so no matter what, you will in a relatively short time or at least relative to your life span go back to a more normal existence.  I have a wife, so I'm not alone, but because of my many health and mental problems we don't keep the same hours and I don't see her much.  So I know this is hard.  It's hard without this added to it.  It's also very hard to escape hearing about it -- we can't escape the news because it tells us what we need to know to protect ourselves, as it's constantly changing.  So just keep telling yourself, this is hard but it's not permanent.  Try to get counseling by phone or computer.  Stay in touch with whoever you can.  There's nothing anyone can say that will make this all go away, but unlike my other problems I can at least tell myself this problem won't be there forever.  And know that many who are confined with their families are going more nuts than you and I are, because being trapped with one's family can be, well, not so hot, you know?  Peace.

[MaxiSunshine]

Thanks for your kind response.

No, I don't know many of my neighbors - big city, etc., etc. The only one I know is the one who lives below me and that's only because he plays his music SO LOUD.

Yes, we are working on virtual therapy, actually. Scheduling is the bigger issue now than anything else, but we have an appt next week.

It IS hard doing this alone. It's hard sometimes to not even be able to get a hug when you're afraid or have had a rough day.

I have moments where I'm really tired of dealing with the "hard but not permanent", ya know? I mean, what choice do we have, but sometimes it's enough. Except then it isn't, apparently.

I'm FaceTiming people, but it's hard because others are also going through this, and while I'm single and alone, they have kids and spouses and partners to deal with.

At least I'm not homeschooling suddenly, right? I don't have to fight anyone for the remote, or the room temp, or what to have for dinner or anything. I miss my mom, but I think we're all happy we aren't quarantining together lol.

Thanks again. Honestly and sincerely, I appreciate the honesty and empathy.

[specialmom]

MaxiSunshine, love your user name.  This is such a hard time.  I have this feeling of impending doom, boiling but held down low anxiety and depression and sadness.  I think a lot of us do.  I find that a bit of time outside in actual fresh air helps.  even if you just sit with a window open if you live in a city and can't get out for a walk.  

Are you on your own, as in living alone right now?  I agree it is hard when you long for something physical like a hug.  I'm dealing with some of those family issues of so much togetherness we might explode on each other.  lol  My peaceful time is in the bathroom.  ha.  But I can imagine that being on your own is also hard.  Thank goodness for face time and skype and zoom, right?  

Have you ever used any of the apps they make these days like "headspace" or "calm"?  I like those.  I had a friend send me something that was very thoughtful (after I wiped it down with a lysol wipe, ha ha).  She sent me colored pencils and an adult book to use them in.  Oh my gosh, it is quite relaxing and soothing.  I'm watching funny tv like "tiger king" and being kind to myself.  Showering regularly (ha, even more than before this crisis), cleaning up the house, etc.  I"m not a project person cranking them out like others I know but I'm trying to work on 'something' every day.  

It's inevitable that we feel a bit scared and depressed and they are warning the next two weeks will be worse.  But the SUN will come out again.  It surely will.  Hang in there.  I"m always here to talk!

[MaxiSunshine]

I do live alone. While I'm happy on one hand that I'm isolating alone, and not with extended family members, it's not easy. It's lonely.

I haven't used those apps, but will look into them. I am definitely not a colorer. I've tried that, and don't have the patience - I wish I did. Many of my friends find that so relaxing, and I lose my mind lol.

My actual routine hasn't changed much since I'm still working, so I'm still showering, etc.

Thanks for your response, and I hope you stay safe!

[specialmom]

I don't know why I find coloring soothing.  lol  It's so methodical and monotonous.  I do like a finished product.  So, maybe getting to that end point feels good.  lol  

Try the apps.  You might like them.  

I am trying to exercise every single day (okay, that doesn't happen but it is more than usual).  And picking something to 'beautify' helps me feel good.  Whatever that may be.  Cleaning a little flower pot out.  Tidying up a corner of a room.  Folding the laundry and organizing something.  lol  Making a good looking plate for dinner.  Just something I look at and think "that looks good' is making me feel good every day.  It's definitely not me though as wow, my hair.  Needs help.  I might have to order online some color to fix this mop up!  I'm avoiding looking in the mirror!  

I'm really glad you still have your job.  I do think about that. If one had lost their job and was going to have no income coming in, this would be at a whole different level!  

One thing I"m going to look into is some online games.  Do you do any of those?  

You stay safe as well.  

[stormpower]

I used to do hours of adult coloring and reading books, now, not so much. I have the interest to pick them up, but not the motivation to do these activities I normally enjoy. My depression started before Covid hit, and I also live alone just having broken up with my boyfriend of 24 years. The loneliness is so devastating because I no longer have daily human communication 2-3x per day. I ended up in the Hospital because my depression got so bad that I was going backwards to older coping mechanisms which are not healthy. My doctor is trying me on different antidepressants to find one that actually lifts my spirits. Nothing was working until my hospital stay and they added an anti depressant to boost the one I was already taking, and I'm thinking this one is helping. I responded to this comment because I am in the exact same position with the loneliness and depression. I have lost motivation to do the activities I usually enjoy, but you mentioned video games. I have found many that are free to play, can download them for free, and there are hundreds of them out there, even on Facebook which is where I play most of my games. I find that playing these games is an excellent distraction for me. I am not using them as any kind of therapy, I am in therapy, although right now it is online, but when I'm finding that at the moment I feel I just can't do anything right now and I'm so overwhelmed, well, these games take me out of my head for a while, just saying