Depression or just the blues?

[abbylou94]

I am 19 years old
I attend university full time and live an hour & 1/2 away from home in a house with 5 other girls during term time.
My family life is very good
I have a boyfriend of 3 months
I have friends both at home and at University
I am very lucky.

So before the Christmas break I had an argument with one of my housemates who I before was very close too as she is on the same Uni course as me. It was over something very trivial that I wont bore you with. It resulted in her telling me to shut up (twice in 3 days). I was very homesick for the last week of term. Over Christmas I went home and focused on my family, I didn't speak to her. Term started again a week ago and the atmosphere in the house is frosty, I didn't ignore her but I didn't chat to her like we usually would because I still feel quite offended at the way she treated me. On Thursday she confronted me, with another housemate (who is basically her tag along), she asked me why I was ignoring her and told me not be act like the victim and to stop trying to get people to feel sorry for me. I am not acting like the victim, I havn't even mentioned to anyone that we argued and went about life like usual. The only abnormal thing was that I didn't really speak to her. This really upset me and I rang my mum over the next couple of days crying because I felt like I couldn't even walk into my own kitchen. I spend the weekend at my boyfriends house. I came back last night and havnt seen her but i still feel so anxious. I have decided to work from home for this week so will be going back to my family tomorrow night.

I am usually in control of my emotions and tend to be very guarded but recently ive been bursting into tears for no reason. I have assignments due in for Uni but i cannot cope with even starting them. I don't sleep that well at night and tend to wake earlier than my 7am alarm. I also have Selective Eating Disorder which means I am very fussy to the point that I only eat the basic foods, I have the diet of a child. Over Christmas I lost weight (I was not trying to). When I am upset or anxious I also have a habit of clenching my left hand into a fist and biting the skin at the base of my thumb until it bruises.

I have a few other issues that play on my mind, my granddad has cancer for the third time, my nan has depression and chronic anxiety, my brother has learning difficulties and is struggling to cope with the pressure of his exams but i cant help him because i am at Uni, my friends at home are all growing apart and I am worried that we will all loose touch.

Sorry for this being so long winded but I felt like I needed to put the feelings in context. I am feeling really down and the feelings only seem to leave when i am with my family. Do you think I am developing depression or anxiety or is it just temporary? Should I seek help from the University guidance team or from the doctors?

[birdie0907]

Anxiety and dep feed off each other and are harder to treat the deeper the dep gets - I have read this and am not making it up from some personal experience. That said, you haven't even been diagnosed with anything so don't get worried about it.
Perhaps the counselor will be able to give you some tips to resolve issues or help your life be less stressful.

[Bubulous]

Of course it would be good to talk to a counselor if you have time.  It is likely some temporary anxiety due to what all you have going on.  The best thing to do is to take control over what you do have.  I like to think of anxiety being related to future worries while depression is often due to past issues.  Keep your guard up to keep the things that other people say out and understand that you are doing the best you can.  Don't feel weak because you may be struggling a but.  Anyone in your position would be but you can find some serenity by showing compassion to those who need and deserve it.  The others who don't deserve your attention or don't do anything but bring you down don't deserve anything from you so try not to let them add more pressure on you.  You have a lot of people that could benefit from your support and strength right now.  Take care your self.  Be patient with yourself and tell yourself at the end of the day "I did my best, and I will again tomorrow."