Depression

[androidlay]

Hi, I am 19 years old. I think I start to have depression when I was 10 years old. So currently it is already 9 years for me. Currently I am now studying in private college but I start to live by myself and didn't join any clubs. I graduated my diploma in 19 and within my college life, I didn't join any student clubs so when other people are enjoying, I feel like I am suffering. I haven't had any relationship before and when I see other people hanging around with girls, I suffer that I am jealous.

And at that same time, I am still a virgin so I am thinking that how about if I get dated by non-virgin girls who lost their virginity to other guys. I really worried about this case. And because of lack of concentrations due to my depression, I didn't get any good scores well in my college life. Currently, I am staying in my house and I feel like I am a loser. I thought to suicide by myself when I was 16 years old. Because I want to join some famous public university but because of the depression before my final exams, I didn't get great scores to join the great university. And all of my enjoyness also, it appears to be gone now. I can't enjoy in anywhere and I am so lonely. I won many prizes and awards in my high school and I thought that I can join the good university ever. But the fact is now currently I am in private university. I never think in my life before that on one day, I will suffer like this. I didn't date with any girls before and I feel like I am a loser compared to my friends.

[androidlay]

When I see other guys got girlfriends and hang out, I am jealous to them. I believe that I am better than them but the condition is currently I am now studying in other country, that country culture is different and it is difficult to find a virgin girl. When I see those people that they can enjoy in their life and I can't enjoy it, I am jealous to them. Within my college life, I didn't go anywhere and I was living in my house. I feel like I am a loser. When I think that they can have the enjoyable moments and I can't get them, but my skills are better than them so I am so jealous to them. :(

[androidlay]

thank you so much for your words. And I am also afraid that on one day, so many girls lost their virginity to their boyfriends in college. Later they can't stand alone in the life because of the stable finance. Then they start to search good guys who can support them. I am afraid that I will be that loser guy who is chased by non-virgin girls for their support. :(

[Poo44clooner]

I agree you have so much to be proud of. Stop comparing yourself to others. You said that you won various awards and prizes even though you suffer from depression that says that you have that drive. That drive to pull yourself through the pain of daily depression and get on with your life and accomplish goals. There are so many lazy people that do absolutely nothing. Don't worry that you are still are a virgin. That just tells me that you don't have any STDs, etc. Remember every person you sleep with you are also sleeping with every person they have slept with. You are saving yourself for that special someone and that says a lot about you and the type of classy person you are.
I was like you suffering from depression since childhood and was a virgin late in life. So believe me continue with your scholastic goals to get to your eventual chosen career. Then when the time is right you will meet the right person. Believe me adding sex with school is just a major distraction from your studies and causes a lot of problems for yourself and takes you away from reaching your life's goals. The right lady will be there for you because you are a total gentleman.
Angela

[androidlay]

wow thank you so much

[jngemera]

First youneed to keep in mind great college or not you made it to college.  Alot of people don't even get that far in life.  Second if you are a virgin you are an amazing person.  It doesn't matter if you dated alot or not.  You will be given that one great person as soon as god feels fit and then it will be worth the wait you have had to go through.  Keepyour head up.  Loosers are people who have never achieved or tried to achieve anything in life you don't sound like that person to me.

[androidlay]

And while other people are enjoying in the clubs and societies, I can't enjoy, so I feel jealous to them. Their results also just passed and my results also became just passed. So I think I lost double time for both. Currently I still don't know what should I do. I am depressed because of what???