Do antidepressants cause a lack of creativity?

[Loribop]

I am on Pristiq (the new Effexor) and have not painted since starting the med a few years ago.  Recently I set up all the things I need to paint, but I have no motivation to create.  I have started to slowly mean myself off Pristiq and will be seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow to discuss.  I have no sex drive and feel numb.  Are these feeling due to what I am going thru in my life (divorce, losing most of my pets, moving, losing my condo, owing money)? Or is it a side affect of antidepressants?  I want to paint again.  I don't want to become overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and sadness as a result of leaving my husband and my home.  I deal with these feelings at least once a day.  Life is hard enough, and I've taken antidepressants on and off for about 10 years.  I am scared to go off Pristiq, but I want to feel alive.  Prior to being on meds I only felt deep sadness and despair.  I can honestly say the meds took that away.  So if it's a toss up between not feeling despair and extreme sadness, but also losing creativity and sex drive Vs. being depressed but feeling creative, which should I choose?  When I am depressed I can't get out of bed and don't have the energy to paint anyway.  I think if I choose to go off the meds, I have to replace the pills with exercise, therapy, yoga (or some sort of relaxation) and nutrition.  These things should be my new SSRI. It's a lot more work than taking a pill, but worth it, I hope.  

This turned out to be more like a journal than a post!  Does anyone have experience with this?  Has anyone had to make this choice?  I, in no way, want to convince anyone to stop taking meds.  They have a very important role in our lives.  I just wonder if I should take a break.  My head is pounding and I have brain zaps, nausea, and dizziness as a result of cutting back on Pristiq.  I remember going off Effexor and it was pure misery.  I'm not looking forward to the next month or so, but I think i need to give this a try.  I can always go back on meds if I feel horrible off them.  Please share your experiences about this topic with me, as I could use the advice.

Lori

Lori

[katie1966]

I have had depression all my life and been on many meds. I have been on 40mg of citalpram once a day for about 8 years now. It does take away my creative side. I can't seem to get out the words i want to to explain how I feel. I have memory problems too and I am only 46 years old. Most days I want to just lay around and rarely get a boost of energy to do anything. I also feel numb, not happy or sad or angry,,,JUST NUMB. I was on effexor and it was awful. If I forgot to take my pill I would get brain shocks. Kinda like if you plug a cord in the wall and ya get that little zap. They were terriblr. Mys sister also was on effecxor with the same results. She and I both had to be SLOWLEY weened off it while on another anti-depressant. the effexor was not good at all. Have you experianced that (brain shock feeling)?

[four_forests]

Hi there, I'm glad I found this page as I'm in the same position (even though this is an old thread).
I was on sertraline for a few months & couldn't think clearly & mind was blocked somehow to have free flowing creative inspirational thoughts. Since coming off, those thoughts have definitely returned....but now I am starting to become a little numb & tired & frozen from anxiety/depression...and its harder again in a different way. But I think the same thought processes that cause anxiety, paranoia, random unwanted thoughts, are also the same free flowing thought processes that give you ideas and inspiration.... I was creative when I took effexor, although it was in a slightly different way, and i was writing lyrics that were more abstract, cold and cutting & humourous, but I wasn't able to put so much feeling into the music & passion, it was very cold, which also ended being good but in a totally different way. I have more stage presence & confidence on the meds...but I also am more retarded with timing & I can't connect w any real passion in my voice when I sing, it feels like I'm riding on top of the feeling instead of being in it sometimes.

[four_forests]

Hi there, I'm glad I found this page as I'm in the same position (even though this is an old thread).
I was on sertraline for a few months & couldn't think clearly & mind was blocked somehow to have free flowing creative inspirational thoughts. Since coming off, those thoughts have definitely returned....but now I am starting to become a little numb & tired & frozen from anxiety/depression...and its harder again in a different way. But I think the same thought processes that cause anxiety, paranoia, random unwanted thoughts, are also the same free flowing thought processes that give you ideas and inspiration.... I was creative when I took effexor, although it was in a slightly different way, and i was writing lyrics that were more abstract, cold and cutting & humourous, but I wasn't able to put so much feeling into the music & passion, it was very cold, which also ended being good but in a totally different way. I have more stage presence & confidence on the meds...but I also am more retarded with timing & I can't connect w any real passion in my voice when I sing, it feels like I'm riding on top of the feeling instead of being in it sometimes.

[aristwithdepression26]

I can most certainly relate to this. I have been an artist since the day I was born, and have also struggled with anxiety and sever depression for most of my life. My mother is an RN, and convinced me to get on Paxil (20mg) when I was in my 3rd year of college. My years of self-medicating finally caught up with me and forced me to drop out of school because my grades dropped dramatically and I couldn't even make it to classes (due to constant hangovers, no sleep, and lack of motivation.)
I am now 26 and have been going on and off of Paxil for 8 years, spending many of those years on the medication, and several periods off of it (cold turkey) because I couldn't deal with the guilt of having to take something to feel "normal." Not to mention the awful side effects like feeling like a zombie and inability to orgasm, lack of sex drive, and lack of desire to create art (which has always been my natural medicine since I am a devoted artist.) The medicine made me feel great at first, but then I realized that I no longer had desire to paint, could not feel inspiration to write songs anymore, and now being engaged to the love of my life, the lack of sex drive is something I CANNOT accept.
I have ready many psychological studies that say ALL human emotion is healthy, and we just have to learn how to cope, and have read many self-help and medical books stating that anti-depressants are literally killing us. It is not secret (and I can testify based on the way my own body has been affected by anti-depressants) that those pills are very very hard on our liver, and this damage can often not be reversed. I am now off meds, and any time I feel down, lonely, anxious, I pick up a pen and write in my journal, start painting , or grab my guitar and write a song. But in order to make a living, I have to also be able to work a job, and this is an extremely challenging thing for me at times, due to my constant anxiety and feeling so full of emotion and such a lack of "fitting in." The primary reason I believe I have been trying to stop Paxil for so long (even tried switching to Zoloft for 6 months), is BECAUSE I AM AN ARTIST, and my art IS affected by the medication (in a negative way.) I have basically come to the conclusion that side effects of the meds are not worth sacrificing my art, and that there must be some way that God MADE me this way. Believe me, friend, you are not alone:) I find that diet and exercise and yoga ( although they might not always seem easy to get up and do), and talking openly to friends and family and on these forums (as I cannot afford a therapist, and anytime i have gone to a doctor, they just try to convince me to take ANOTHER ANT-DEPRESSANT) are a big help for me.
Also, accepting and understanding the reality that life is NOT always easy, and we just have to learn to accept ourselves and do the best we can. My best advice to you is follow your heart. I become more depressed when I realize that I have not been writing music or painting, or singing or playing, and I don't want to sacrifice who I am. It is not an easy choice, because depression tries to kick my butt every day. But if you are an artist, then you have a gift that is meant to be shared with the world...many people do not have such a gift, and are ok with being "completely normal," or zombified my meds while they work their 9 to 5 jobs and just get through life. As an artist, the sort of life I described in that last sentence is not something I can live. Be as strong as you can be, and know that ups and downs are part of every human life, and that some of the greatest artists in history probably created such masterpieces because of the ups and downs they experienced, and because of their unique emotions and "deep" personality. Best of luck to you my friend:)

[artistmom2]

Tonight I queried "Does Pristiq kill creativity?" just to see if there were any others feeling like I do. I have been on Pristiq for two years and share your mixed feelings. I used to take great joy in my painting and creative expression but it feels dead. My studio is set up, I have upcoming shows but feel so stuck in "neutral" gear. And yes my sex drive is gone, although I do not cry anymore for my losses. I'm just really lacking in my former motivation.

[lifesart]

How was the withdrawal when you stopped taking the drug?  I have been on Effexor XR for so long now (over 10 years) that I am scared to death of the withdrawal if I stop.  But my creativity just dried up completely after a year on the stuff.  Yes, it has helped a lot with my impulse control and anger issues, but the apathy that has replace those problems has become a major difficulty.  

[BoydFree]

Hi. I can say without a doubt that it stumps one's creativity. I am off of it for 5 days now and I am back to my old self. I am a writer with a few successes under my belt (before Prystiq).  What a difference. I forgot about this part of me. I gave it all up. However now I am getting off my *** and taking on projects, laughing more, loving more, and writing more. I was on Lexapro for 6 years before Prystiq. I was more relaxed during this 7 year hike, but that spark I once held is now back. don't blame yourself. It's the drug. Get past what you need to get past but get off of it soon after or the lethargy will suck you in until you think "this" is who you are. Good luck.

[teri928]

I've struggled with depression since I was 7. I am now heading into my 30th birthday and still battling. I've been on and off meds, in and out of therapy my whole life. When I am medicated, I get better, but there are just as many positive side effects as there are negative. I just got married a month ago and with my stress and exhaustion from full time work and school, my sex drive isn't what it should be. I know going back on medication, especially if they put me back on Effexor, it will damage my sex drive more and completely destroy my ability to orgasm. On top of that, I feel sapped of all creativity. I love to write but when I am medicated I can't write anything more creative than a small office memo. After coming off the meds last time, it took me a very long time to be able to write again. I've recently been finding myself writing more and more but also been showing signs of my depression returning. Yes the medicine is a bit over controlling which straps my creative side. But I also think that too much of my inspiration to be creative comes out of pain. Depression patients commonly find themself in a state that forces them to enable the illness. For me, I get added inspiration with pain and sorrow which ends up encouraging me to go without treatment for extended periods. I feel as if I am losing my identity when I lose my creativity.
Unfortunately the sexual side effects I've suffered with the treatment is all from the Effexor. Not being able to get the full effect of satisfaction with your lover is just as depressing as seeing life without the Effexor goggles. I am currently to the point that I have no choice but to go back on the meds. I've been waiting and trying to fight through this on my own but it has gotten to the point of preventing me from completing work or my studies. I find myself spending an entire day feeling lost when I would typically be wizzing through task after task in record time. Depression is tearing away at my ability to function in every area of my life.

[nn_compact]

I am currently on Pristiq 200mg and my creativity has halted.  I am also a painter myself and I sit in my studio feeling very frustrated that the creativity is not flowing.  I paint abstract and at the moment my work is absolute rubbish.  However when it comes to drawing still life or life models my work has came out quite well.  I suppose drawing an image that is in front of you is not considered pure creative, and when I say that I do not mean any disrespect to artist who do realism.  I think is more my style of drawing I do not engage the creative side of me.

I have noticed taking 200mg I feel numb, i have no sex drive and emotionally detached.  i know when I paint abstract I need to feel all the emotions to paint my story.  Hence I do believe Pristiq is inhibiting my creativity.  I need to feel raw emotions to express myself on canvas.  At the moment I am producing work that have no depth, no story and its just an expression from a simple on the surface emotion.  

I am considering to lower the dosage to see if the side effect will decrease.  Will keep you posted how it goes.

Cheers :)

[nn_compact]

I am currently on Pristiq 200mg and my creativity has halted.  I am also a painter myself and I sit in my studio feeling very frustrated that the creativity is not flowing.  I paint abstract and at the moment my work is absolute rubbish.  However when it comes to drawing still life or life models my work has came out quite well.  I suppose drawing an image that is in front of you is not considered pure creative, and when I say that I do not mean any disrespect to artist who do realism.  I think is more my style of drawing I do not engage the creative side of me.

I have noticed taking 200mg I feel numb, i have no sex drive and emotionally detached.  i know when I paint abstract I need to feel all the emotions to paint my story.  Hence I do believe Pristiq is inhibiting my creativity.  I need to feel raw emotions to express myself on canvas.  At the moment I am producing work that have no depth, no story and its just an expression from a simple on the surface emotion.  

I am considering to lower the dosage to see if the side effect will decrease.  Will keep you posted how it goes.

Cheers :)

[JennaLeigh40]

I too have had this. Since starting on antidepressents, Lexapro, Cymbalt then at last, Pristiq, can't write anything more than an email, and even getting motivated to do  that's sometimes a challenge.  It's like living in a coccoon of gray, with no color left in the world.  I've been thinking of talking to my doctor about stopping lately, just so I'll feel something again, and maybe be able to write.

[HumanePain]

I have experienced your symptoms as well.
In 2006 I fell into depression (triggered by andopause although at the time I didn't realize it). By summer I was crying at work, during my 90 minute commute home and on weekends. Anything could trigger it, a sad song, a news article about a child's death, every which way I turned I was saddened and lost interest in work, paying bills and outside activity. But...the internet kept me sane. I found a website for aspiring writers, and I decided to try writing my feelings out, hoping that by expressing myself through the characters in my stories I would purge the depression.

The result surprised me. Readers loved my stories! I began to receive emails from around the world by many who loved my stories and wanted more. So I continued writing, and discovered the first story was no accident, as 60,000 words later and hundreds of chapters through many stories and poems I was still popular amongst not only the original website, but other websites as well and eventually received offers from magazines to publish my work. (I have been published under a pen name since 2007).

BUT I was still crying at work, hiding in my cubicle and hoping no one would see my in tears. I couldn't function. So i sought treatment, and received a prescription for Lexapro.

In three days my depression lifted. I felt "normal" again, able to now see a joy in just a morning sunrise, in a friend's smile etc. however, I soon realized I did not have the visions anymore, the movies in my mind that my hands merely typed out in description. I had to "work" at my creativity, and then it did not excite anyone. My stories lacked something that I had in the beginning. I go back and read those stories now and it is as if someone else wrote them.

I experimented with going off my Lexapro, and sure enough the tears returned, and I could not wait for the visions to return as well. There were bills to pay and work to do. I had to keep my job.

So I have not written anything worth while since then. I miss writing, I miss the visions, I miss the me I used to be.

[hellayella]

Hey there,

I also experienced the 'blunting' effect you've described, after discontinuing Paxil 5 years ago. I don't know whether it's got a similar action to the drug you're on (though I think both are SSRIs, at least). In my case, the numbness has lessened considerably. The urge to create hasn't come back in full swing - at least not through the art form I studied all my life. I am, however, enjoying trying other forms of performance. No career changing successes yet, but a few hearty ones - small steps!

You probably have learned by now (perhaps through another forum) that many, many creative people have also had their drive dampened by the 'blunting' phenomenon.  We all take heart in evidence of neuroplasticity. Your brain isn't broken.

I think the only way to regain your sensitivity it, and to challenge yourself in new ways. Being around others who value your art, and art in general helps to maintain your belief that it's a viable commitment. Try edging your way around what you used to do - have a go at totally unrelated forms. You may be familiar with Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way - lots of people have benefitted from the exercises.

Drive is something else. I think it's useless to think too much about where your work can lead, or what it means for your identity - i.e., try not to catastrophize. Focus on one task to love at a time, and put yourself in the right company. Things will happen, maybe not in the ways you would have predicted.

Also - yoga is touted around as a catch all for every existential and psychological ailment around. That's because it helps. Google 'mindfulness meditation' to see what research has been done, and maybe try it out... also just keeping the body in some kind of motion supports your sense of vitality, relaxes you, keeps your heart rate steady, muscles limber, etc, without being too challenging when you're getting over the drug. I.e., creates the conditions for a good mood; primes your body to not be stressed.

How are you doing these days?

[NikoK]

I can't speak personally to the issue, re: meds- however, my mother is a brilliant artist (paint, drawing), and she developed epilepsy about 15 years ago.
One of her meds is similar to the benzos and she's had difficulty even WANTING to draw or paint since she started taking her AEDs- which in many ways are similar to antidepressants, in that they change neurochemistry (yet, through radically different means).
She has found exercise helpful- after a walk she is more thoughtful and tends to pick up a brush- but I've watched her deire to BE the artist she's been forever, wane, throughout this process.
Don't give up, though- one day, about 2 years ago, she surprised us with a drawing of irises that would have made van Gogh proud!  It's not OVER- just HARDER, I think----
Good luck- I truly wish you the best with my heart.

[Loribop]

That's very interesting and make a lot of sense.  I went off the meds for the holidays so I could paint gifts for people.  I had to go back on them in January.  It's a different combination of meds, and a lower dosage, so I don't feel like a zombie.  Of course, I can't create but that's the trade off.  I'm not sure if I'm going to do it next Novemer or not.  Probably not.  I don't think it's good to go back and forth like that.   It's funny my sister is on meds and she can create.  So lucky!

[Vintendo56]

One of the reasons we go through cycles of depression and mood swings is the abstract part of our brains can't shut off.  We try to sleep and the thoughts just rush and rush and rush until we see the sun come up, heave a big sigh and try to make it through the day, only to have the same thing happen again and again until we are finally down the hole.

Most anti-depressants are chemically designed to block abstract thought, thought to be the root cause of depression, but abstract thinking is where we get our artistic thought from too.  It would be great to have our cake and eat it too, but in my experience an anti-depressant either turns me into Gork the Stone Man, or if it leaves me basically normal it blunts the artistic/abstract side to where I can't do any of the creative things I love to do.  And Big Pharma makes way more money keeping you fluctuating back and for the between meds than they ever would with a cure, so sadly enough don't hope for a cure.

But please don't overdo the depression in the name of your art.  The world needs all the laughter and beauty it can get.

[abitofsumisu]

I was recently placed on mood stabilizers and anti-depressants.  I have had a creative block ever since I have been on them.  It feels kind of like a haze, its very strange to describe.  I found though that when I looked deep inside and started asking myself questions I realized I was making a lot of excuses.  I didn't feel like I was good enough, I live with my parents - what if I made a mess and my likewise bi polar mother became furious (our house is OCD clean).  I came up with a thousand and one reasons, and I think the hardest thing is getting past that and trying not to blame it all on the meds.  I'm not a scientific person, but I design and draw (when I feel like it) the same way I always have, its just sometimes finding the time and getting the motivation.

I hope this help, just ask yourself why you can't get yourself to paint and tell yourself over and over I will paint.  I have to tell myself in the car sometimes "I will go to the gym" (that's my big hangup) "I will go to the gym and keep myself healthy".  It's damn hard, and today I didn't do it.  All days are not great days.  Sometimes we all feel lonely, depressed, we don't feel like going to the gym.  Sometimes we just gotta kick ourselves in the butt and say do it - but sometimes we can't always do that.  I think on meds sometimes the challenge becomes greater.  However as I said I still paint, draw, and design the same way before I was on bipolar meds.

I hope this helps. : /

[slattery]

I would have said that my Effexor XR (several years) has not had that effect on me. But possibly, I no longer can judge objectively. It sounds like you're doing quite well now and I hope that continues for you. I too left my spouse amidst depression and know that both guilt and confidence can accompany such a decision. Be well. Now I'll look up Pristiq. It's remarkable anyone can wean themselves off Effexor.

[lifesux_thenyoudie]

I'm interested in this topic because I'm a musician. You are not alone Loribop.

I am not sure if antidepressants cause us to be less creative. I think that age does and from experience I do know that depression lowers creatiivity and sex drive.

Depression to me is a loss of faith and hope in everything including our own ability which in turn lowers the chances and liklihood of success. In shrt when your depressed - whats the point? I'm sure you know what I mean.
We were depressed first right? Then were medicated?

If and when they can get the meds right we'll be thriving again painting, composing and doing it like rabbits.
So if that is the case anti depressants will enhance our creativity...... heres hoping

[Loribop]

Hello,

A little update here.  My head has finally stopped zapping and I am feeling creative again.  Is it all psychological?  Also, I am feeling a lack of patience, muscle twitching, and still have headaches.  

Check out my new painted pieces!  

Lori

[remar]

Your welcome Sweety. You can always PM me any time if you want to talk.

[Loribop]

Thank you so much.

Thanks to Jimi little wing too, for your kind words.

LL

[remar]

Yes Lori, please keep us up to date on how your doing with coming off the Pristiq. I'm glad to hear you have an opened minded Dr and I hope the SamE helps you. You might want to take a good B Complex, if you are'nt already. And get plenty of magnesium and calcium. People that have depression and anxiety are usually low an these.
I understand what your going through. I've been on and off antidepressants for many years. I've quit several of them because they either made me feel like a zombie or made my feel too wired.
I'm wishing you the best and I hope you are able to start painting again very soon. Take care. Remar

[whodunnit]

Hi again Lori,

No argument, it's just my style, or lack of due to many years of formal report writing in my career. I know it comes off quite dry and blunt often but it's how I write on this topic, depression. I tried the fuzzies and discovered that 10 posts filled with huggles, kisses and "I Lub U"'s from people I did not know, probably would hate in person, and them me and would never meet to be quite useless. I even tried to participate and felt like a complete moron as it wasn't real, meant nothing and helped no one.

My ambition is always to bring to someone's attention things I think are relevant to them. If the person doesn't see it then hey, that's normal, like about 90% of the time. You can't tell anybody what to avoid as they are determined to make their own mistakes themselves. I was so why shouldn't everyone else? Right?

I have 4 kids, 3 adult now and do you think they ever listened to advice once they thought for themselves? Absolutely not. Mind you they'd often come rushing home months later with this revelation their best friend told them about. Being something their mother or I had advised them on months before. Aghhhhh.

I'm please you plan to return and update us as there is nothing more inspiring than a story of success against the odds. I'd be happy if it were you.

Careful with those ears by the way! (That's a jest just in case it's not clear!!)

As you might guess I'm not a fan of vitamens and alternatives so I won't comment there given you've got a doc to advise you on it. Good thought on the SAD though. Someone else here said SamE helped with withdrawal from Effexor. Maybe it was Hensley, correct me if I'm wrong Hensley.