Ah sweetie, I've got great empathy for you. That tiny spark of hope, I love it. I hope it grows and grows. We're here, and I'm here on different forums, all the time so you can get to know us and have a community. I'll send you a friend request. There is a wide variety of drugs to choose from. Paxil has been a bad choice for some but a good choice for others. There is such an individual response to medication. I'd stay open minded. And adding on meds is the way things are done now to get an even greater response. CBT and DBT therapy have both been shown to produce great results. Mental health can be tricky especially with all the comorbid conditions you have. I'm so thankful you are working with a doctor and you actually did the intensive therapy. Hold onto your spark. I'm happy to remind you always that it is there. hugs
Yes, for some it does go away. For others it is episodic. For some it doesn't. Getting the right med can take some time. Some depression is medication resistant. In other words, it comes in all sizes and colors, basically, depending on the individual. If you want to cure it, you have to do that in therapy. Medication only deals with symptoms. I would say, if you're getting bad results, get a different psychiatrist. As with any human, some are better at what they do than others. But are you working at it in therapy as well?