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Avatar universal

Don't know whats wrong, need help

My problem started about five or six years ago. It has gotten worse with time and events that have happened in my life. At first I would only feel extreme mood swings ranging from suicidal thoughts with no action "because I'm too cowardly and selfish to do something like that", to not having a care in the world like everything is perfect. Recently I have been noticing that my problem has gotten much worse. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, and we recently moved from Florida (where I grew up and lived in a small town for all of my 26 years until about 6 months ago) to Colorado. My boyfriend noticed my problem in Florida, but I tried to hide it so we could go on with our "normal" lives. Since the move, he (and a friend I have who lives here too from Florida) often mentions changes he has noticed in me. One is that I can NOT drive anywhere without having some sort of panic attack or very stressful episode. Another is my mood swings. They are very uncontrollable and I feel so badly when I am in a bad mood with him and also I can't deal with these horrible feelings anymore.I feel so lost and alone, even when I am not at all. I use to be so confident, did beauty pageants, was a cheerleader, on student council, active with friends and family. Now I always feel like I'm not pretty enough, I am useless on this earth and wasting space... I can't even type well right now because typing this fills my eyes with tears. I just want to be me again. I like to think that I am a smart and reasonable person for the most part and can not over come this for some reason. I really don't know what to do, it doesn't go away :( I know I wrote a lot but I really need advice. Am I just having mood swings? Am I bipolar? Please help.
3 Responses
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3149845 tn?1506627771
You were very active before in school but now all the activity has stopped. You were getting alot of attention before but now your not. I think you did not accomplish what you wanted to from all the prior excitment. You have lost your creative part. i think your frustrated with your life. Get  back to creating. Take control of your destiny. Dont think how bad you feel, think about how you can accomplish your goals again.
Helpful - 0
1705170 tn?1351406158
If I were you I would definitely discuss these mood swings with a doctor. They do sound like you could be bipolar, though you can't know for sure if you don't get evaluated by a professional.
Helpful - 0
4250330 tn?1388621179
I think your depressed most people have depression and they dot even notice it like me I didn't feel like I was but when I went to the doctor they said it was depression anxiety and panic i would see a doctor
Helpful - 0
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