Don't know whats wrong, need help

[Alysha86]

My problem started about five or six years ago. It has gotten worse with time and events that have happened in my life. At first I would only feel extreme mood swings ranging from suicidal thoughts with no action "because I'm too cowardly and selfish to do something like that", to not having a care in the world like everything is perfect. Recently I have been noticing that my problem has gotten much worse. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, and we recently moved from Florida (where I grew up and lived in a small town for all of my 26 years until about 6 months ago) to Colorado. My boyfriend noticed my problem in Florida, but I tried to hide it so we could go on with our "normal" lives. Since the move, he (and a friend I have who lives here too from Florida) often mentions changes he has noticed in me. One is that I can NOT drive anywhere without having some sort of panic attack or very stressful episode. Another is my mood swings. They are very uncontrollable and I feel so badly when I am in a bad mood with him and also I can't deal with these horrible feelings anymore.I feel so lost and alone, even when I am not at all. I use to be so confident, did beauty pageants, was a cheerleader, on student council, active with friends and family. Now I always feel like I'm not pretty enough, I am useless on this earth and wasting space... I can't even type well right now because typing this fills my eyes with tears. I just want to be me again. I like to think that I am a smart and reasonable person for the most part and can not over come this for some reason. I really don't know what to do, it doesn't go away :( I know I wrote a lot but I really need advice. Am I just having mood swings? Am I bipolar? Please help.

[Kelz72312]

I think your depressed most people have depression and they dot even notice it like me I didn't feel like I was but when I went to the doctor they said it was depression anxiety and panic i would see a doctor

[carlyp93]

If I were you I would definitely discuss these mood swings with a doctor. They do sound like you could be bipolar, though you can't know for sure if you don't get evaluated by a professional.

[Life360_Dave]

You were very active before in school but now all the activity has stopped. You were getting alot of attention before but now your not. I think you did not accomplish what you wanted to from all the prior excitment. You have lost your creative part. i think your frustrated with your life. Get  back to creating. Take control of your destiny. Dont think how bad you feel, think about how you can accomplish your goals again.