I wouldn't normally consider myself a depressed person, of course I have things in my life I am not happy with and need change and am slowly getting round to changing things, but overall I'm pretty much ok. Sometimes though I have certain stages that I go through when all I can think about is how much I hate things in my life, my job, the day in day out boring routine life has, myself and I wish things about me were different and I do these stupid behavoiurs like lying to my work I am sick and can't go in, lying to my partner why I am home early from work when really I haven't been and I spend my day sleeping and thinking ok tomorrow is another day, I'll be better and get on with life again. I was hoping that was going to happen today, but here I am again at home as I couldn't pick myself up and face another day of going to my job I really don't like that much, but had to take it last Septmeber to get off benefit as I had previously been made redundant from a job I really enjoyed for over five years and was unemployed for a while putting a big financial strain on my relationship. I feel like I'm in chains sometimes and wish I were free to do what I wanted everyday. I hate that I get like this and feel so guilty that my other half is such a trooper and just gets on with everyday life as much as they don't always want to go to work and dislike things they are strong and soldier on. I feel like I am so weak about it as I would rather take the option of lying to people and wallowing in my unhappiness at home on my own thinking I have got to get a grip on myself. I can go for ages without these episodes, but I'm in one right now and am asking why.....