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Avatar universal

Hating my husband

I am post menopausal and still missing my Mom three years after her death.  I'm starting to become afraid of the hatred I feel for my husband.  He's a really nice guy, retired.  I work full time and have an hour commute to and from work.  I have to work, as his retirement isn't enough to pay the mortgage and the bills.  On weekends, he just lays around and does nothing.  Weekdays, I have to get up at 3 a.m. to clean up, feed pets and get going.  By the time I get home, at about 4:45, I have to feed pets, get dinner ready and get my clothes ready for the next day.  The only thing he does is to turn on the dishwasher, and he often forgets to do that.  I'm so burned out between my job and home that I wish I could run away.  I'm sad all the time, and the only friends and relatives I have are always hitting me up for money or favors. It's the same thing at work.  I get stuck with all the BS stuff, and can't seem to say no.  My Mom was the same way, but she worked for relatives, and took off time when she needed to.  Also, she only worked 10 minutes from home.  I've never struck anyone in my life, but I just wanted to slap my husband yesterday.  What can I do?  I'm only 55 and feel like 105.
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Avatar universal
You need to sit down and have a talk with your husband!  You are the only one working so he needs to be doing more around the house.  It's selfish of him not to see this. I would be very angry as well, and this can grow into dislike for your husband.  He sees how much you are doing and yet he makes no offer to help?  Talk to him about doing more and if he refuses then you have to decide how you want to live. I mean, you may as well be single!  Start telling friends and relatives "no" when they ask for things, you are not their keeper and it sounds like you are being taken advanyage of.  Nobody seems to care how much is on your plate, so YOU have to care and think of you!  I'm sure you are feeling over-whelmed by all this and like nobody cares or thinks about you!
Start living your life for you.  I do wish you all the best and take care.
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Avatar universal
How old is your husband?  Is he 10 or 20 years older than you? If he is than I would say, ok, cut him some slack and let him sit in his rocking chair. Otherwise if he's about your age and relatively healthy he should pitch in with the housework! If he doesn't you tell him you'll get a cleaning lady part time to help out - and there are plenty of ladies looking for part time work these days. Just put an ad in the grocery store for cleaning help or talk to your neighbors. Believe me, it will be worth it to keep from going insane.
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