Our stories are so similar. After retirement, than anal cancer, then the murder of my son last March by his father, my ex husband, I went into lockdown. Seemed like the best way to deal with it all was just to stay in my small apt. Let brother in law bring in groceries, as I couldn't face the store. My cat died a few days before my son, so now I really am alone.
I sent you a note about these life events...but here is where we really connect. The phone thing. It can take me a day to get in the right frame of mind to make a call to doctor or dentist. Will call sister, usually as I need her calming voice when I get out. Am improving on answering the phone, but still like to let the messages go to voice mail and respond when I feel like it.
When it comes to calls to cancer doc.......bleck! Hate hate hate to commit to those. He is always either putting me through miserable tests ( I owe him one right now) or I dread the office exams. No fun at all. But you know we have to stay on schedule to make sure we have kicked cancer's b***!!
Here is a thing I am realizing: the firsts are the hardest. That is...the first time I went to grocery store, I took a neighbor, then gradually started going by myself. Now I almost look forward to going. After recent post cancer surgery, I realized anxiety was keeping me from picking up scripts. So I just jumped in car and got them. No dressing up or thought involved. Took about 15 minutes.
I take 1 mg clonazapam daily. It helps. Today, I had a small victory as visited a nearby park where there is a butterfly garden. Only stayed about 10 minutes. Has to be short trips at this time.
Don't give up. It takes time. Cancer can mess with our self confidence. It will not keep me home, unless I want to just chill for a day.
The first approach should be an appointment with a psychologist. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is extremely good at treating phobias and therefor it is the kind of therapy I suggest trying first.
As you didn't mention any information about the pattern of your mood swing I have no clue what it could be. Borderline personality disorder mood swings can fluctuate during the day while bi-polar mood swings tend to be longer and usually linked with some manic episodes.
I am just starting to track my Mood Swings and I do see a Shrink and I have done the Cognitive Therapy before...I was unable to Go out of the House at all at one time...Let alone into a store...
And I am on a Anti depressant..I don't know if I said or not...I'm working on things that I have done before and I know the steps...But I'm having a real hard time working threw this.
I know in my head what needs to be done. But knowing it and doing it are two different things.
I guess I'm asking if anyone else feels this way or gets this way.
Thanks for writing me back.