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Help! Severe depression..

Been severely depressed from 12 to my current age (17). At first I thought it was because I didn't have a girlfriend but at 16 I was in four relationships, the happiness always faded quickly. I've been to doctors, taken SSRI meds, welbutrin, lexapro, you name it, but my misery continues. I tried to find god but I'm an athiest so that didn't work out quite well. I've abused narcotics for temporary highs or euphoric feelings but we all know how that ends, death or demise. I've lost almost all my interests, lack motivation and I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy without a stimulant. I have been hospitalized twice, the first time I checked myself in because I thought it was worth a shot but it was more or less prison. There's got to be a way out of this agony, when will it end?
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Avatar universal
   The first thing you need to do is to stop doing drugs of ANY kind.  Those only make confuse you and alter your moods when you need to be completely sober.  You also need to cut off any relationships that are emotionally draining.  This means amorous relationships, friendships where the person is taking but not giving back or somebody you know who is judging you for your current situation.
   What you need is emotional stability of any kind.  It doesn't matter if it is from you're family, through your friends or you're school psychologist.  I would get involved with your school psychologist. They are made to deal with problems just like this.  They will in make sure you are checked upon regularly, involve your family and your friends.  I had similar problems to you in high school and came from a dysfunctional family, but this "life plan" got me through high school. I am not promising miracles but I these methods helped me.
Helpful - 0
1530171 tn?1448129593
Hi Shatze.
I'm glad you're reaching out.
You are a kind, humble and caring person and no matter what your past experiences were, you have taken a huge leap of faith in yourself and the Universe/Higher Power, by taking the course in Miracles and tapering off
the Lamictal.
It seems that you're ready to receive a helping hand.
Feel free to post details about you and your situation and if it is your preference to pm me directly, that will be fine.
It is very special to have a holistic doctor AND who's also a teacher
of the Course in Miracles. Sounds like something I would be doing,lol!
Blessings!
Niko
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello,

I am currently studying Course in Miracles with group.
I have not mentioned depression to group. I am working with
holistic doctor who is also a teacher OF THE COURSE IN MIRACLES.
The group and doctor are not together. I am currently tapering off
Lamictal from 100mg to 50 today.  Every 2 weeks I lower milligrams 5 mg.
Without story I am still depressed and being patient with the taper.
Much gratitude to you.
My best, Shatze
Helpful - 0
1530171 tn?1448129593
Start studying A Course in Miracles.(Free lessons online)
One short lesson a Day. In one year you will have completed the entire course.
You will most likely no longer be an Atheist, as at present you may be misinformed (no offence) or "blame" your circumstances on the absence of a Higher Being Who would have prevented this, had he existed... You may fill in your reasons, for why you have this belief or rather lack of belief,
however, by experiencing the "Miracle" side of Life, you may then be more objective with your assessment and choice.

Do not take my word for it, but I'm asking you to give it a chance, by investing a few minutes each day.
You see, it's not matter of believing, since believing has the connotation
that someone convinced you of something.
It's a matter of knowing and the only way of knowing is through experience.

Please don't disregard my message, I'm not here to preach religion or the word of God, should be suspicious of this.
This is a way for you to reach inside , deep enough, so you can pull yourself out of this hole/prison and seek the proper help to see some Light
and Live Life as you were meant to Live it. It all started that way when you were born. You must then experience rebirth so you can experience the Miracle of Life.
No, I'm not off the wall at all, if this is what's going through your mind.
Without wanting to brag, I'm one of the sanest people you will ever come across.
The are many ways to approach Depression, however, each person  suffering from this has a unique situation, so what worked for Mary, does not mean it will work for Spectrals, what John found on the internet, might not work for me.
You got to start from somewhere. Keep an open mind and give this suggestion a chance. And if you do, meet me back here in a year,
with a new post. Chances are that you won't, but if you do, it is very likely
that you will be on the right Path.

Blessings!
  Niko

Helpful - 0
4190741 tn?1370177832
You don't say if you have been involved with therapy, either as one on one therapy or group therapy.  I understand you have tried antidepressants but did you have therapy with the medication or just the meds.

Recovery from depression does often happen when everything we have tried has failed and we are still miserable. And that is because the depression is between the sufferer and the illness of depression.  All the side roads we take to banish the depression lead back to ourselves and that is where the work must begin.

I am not a doctor nor therapist with a degree.  But I would like to suggest that you do go back to your medical doctor and tell him/her what is going on and ask for a referral to a therapist who specializes in depression.  If you do choose to seek therapy,  honesty and communication with your therapist may just open the doors to better health then you have ever imagined.

Good luck to you

M
Helpful - 0
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