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Highly irritable and angered person

My girlfriend has a very difficult character.
She is extremely irritable,offendable.
In a split second her mood can change into a deep depression.she enters a state of stupor (as she says),shock,anger and rage.
She may remain like this for at least the rest of the day or the evening.
She becomes completely dumb and stares in the void with total dispair.
She seems to be extremely negative to me,cruel,numb.
I can't talk her into any reason.
She rejects any arguments or excuses.And it gets worst and worst.
She's persuaded that she better be alone.And she rejects everything from me.
There is something sadistic in it (not in a physical but in a mental way).
I'm crying and imploring her,but always to no avail.
Eventually the next day,she calms down.
And loves me again and says that I'm the most remarkable man she ever knew or met.
Me, being very diplomatic,patient and extremely cautious about what may upset her,still it is very difficult
to avoid those disputes.I'm trying not show any opion of mine because of fear of starting a conflict,but even this irritates her sometimes,
she says,you have no opinion on anything.
Please,I would like to have some sort of advice,opinion or any diagnosis about her temper or state of mind.
I have to add that she has a hypethyroidism.Does this explain it all?
What I noticed about her, is the total lack of will power and has a tendency to be easily discouraged or gives up in front of the slightest difficulty.
But when everything seems ok to her,she is the loveliest and most caring woman in the world.
Please,help me
10 Responses
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Avatar universal

I shouldn't think age has anything to do with any of it.  I am also 39 and my husband is 47, so only 3 years less than you.

I hope you manage to sort things out.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Replying to Ray31
My girlfriend also says that she thinks she's awful because of her moods and that she does not deserve me. Also she wants me to leave her alone for a while and not bother her when she's in this kind of state.And I really think she becomes completely irrational
when her mood swings like this.
Me being on the contrary very rational,it's very difficult to understand irrationality.
Also I'm extremely sensitive and really suffer when she wants me to leave her alone.
I constantly need her,I think I'm very much like a child sometimes.
Anyway I'm trying to find a way how not to trigger those kinds of mood swings in her,
but it seems difficult.She's extremely offendable.
By the way I'm really grateful to anyone of you about sharing your opinion with me,
I think you are really helping me understand and get over our problems.
I'll have to find the right moment to share your comments with her (she's not reading English) I only fear it won't trigger again something.
I don't know if it's important or not,but I'm 50 and she's 39.
Helpful - 0
640196 tn?1224033087
sounds like you are almost talking about me.. you and my boyfriend should get together..lol  Im all over the place too.. not as severe as your gf ..

I will get back to you.  Ive on this thing all day reading.. I need to lay down.. lol
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal

I realised after posting that I ought to clarify one point that I made.

With regard to reading any literature I am not for one minute suggesting that you shouldn't read as self education and self evaluation can be helpful.  Ray31 has mentioned a very well known, well written and educational book  and does make a relevant point.  However, there are many types of mental illness with symptoms that can overlap into more than one category -

However I should keep an open mind until you can discuss any concerns directly with a professional.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi,

I'm not sure how the health system works where you live.  Over here (UK) we would need to visit our family doctor in order to get a referral to a psychiatrist or a psychologist.  If you do not need to obtain a referral then it may be a good idea to at least ask your family doctor for some advice on who he thinks is a good psychiatrist/psychologist.

Be careful regarding self-diagnosis as many people get hung-up on what they think they may have and unconsciously make their symptoms fit those of the illness they have read about.  

My advice is for your girlfriend to keep a mood chart and journal.  It would also help if you keep a separate mood chart and journal of how you perceive her moods.  These will be helpful when visiting a psych for the first time.

Wishing you all the best.  xx
Helpful - 0
589461 tn?1286432865
like SarahB79 i also thought my husband was writing in, i have had depression for 17 years and am now on 40mg Citalopram, i have an appointment with pdoc next week to see if i have borderline personality disorder, i have read "I hate you, don't leave me" and it really struck a cord with me, my meds are still not right my moods are all over the place, most days i feel completely worthless, but i do have days where i am extremely hyper and spend loads of money (which i don't have)
Good luck
S
Helpful - 0
541196 tn?1293552936
I'm embarassed to say, for a minute I felt like you were my husband writing.  I am better at controlling my downward spiral moods now that I take lexapro daily for depression and anxiety.  Granted I have had a lot of other things going on medically and with in my family, so even though my husband was the one often baring the brunt of my issues, and it embarassed me even when it was happening... I knew it was happening and it made my rage worse knowing I was reacting towards him that way.  I can't explain it.  Like you he is a kind man and over time I saw what I was doing and he gently nudged me to work through my problems and he never gave up.  I'm a work in progress and I have some healing to do and I have some wounds of his to heal from my actions I'm sure.  But, just keep loving her and help her overcome this.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I  suggest reading the book ...I Love You, Dont leave me....See if it relates to her personality. She would need to see a psychiatrist or psychologist for a proper diagnosis.   I have acted as she does ( I have Borderline Personality Disorder) The thing is that the reason i pushed those I love away was because I really did believe that they would leave me , so its almost a lets get it over with because its innevitable attitude, no matter how unfounded it was. The corny saying that you cant love someone else till you love yourself is actually true in this case. People who have what i have cant understand why someone would love us because we think that we are unlovable and undeserving for the most part, and thats just the tip of the iceburg. Please dont think im saying you cant have a healthy relationship with her because I can assure you that my boyfriend and I are happy, but we have to work together and we both needed to be informed on the illness, ( He leaves for a while when I start my moods, which I hate at the time but know its the best thing he could do.) you cant rationalize with someone that is irrational.  Good luck. You sound like a good boyfriend for her.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you very much for you supportive and kind words.
She overtly acknowledges that she has those problems and that her behaviour is not right.
She even says that she's kind of psycho or neurotic person.
She says for example,we'll be together as long as you can stand me.
She this when she's in a right state,but when she goes beserk she does not acknowledge anything,she becomes the total opposite.
Which kind of doctor do you recommend me?
Psychiatrist or other?

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It does sound as if your girlfriend needs to talk to a doctor about this - does she acknowledge that her behaviour is not right?  If she does then you need to give her gentle encouragement to see a doc.  If she doesn't acknowledge it then it is going to be very hard.

You may need some support also, living with someone with violent mood swings is wearing on the most patient of people, you are not a saint nor are you superman so seek some support and help for yourself also.

Coming here is a good start for getting support and advice.

I can't comment regarding the hyperthyroidism as I have no experience of that.

I sincerely hope that she agrees to visit with her doctor.  All the best...

Helpful - 0
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