Did you ever read my reply on your last thread?
I get you, I really do. My creative life has been destroyed as well -- but not by depression, but by the medication I used to help with anxiety. So yeah, life is pretty terrible to someone every minute of every day. But I also think you missed the point of your own argument. Beethoven created his best work while deaf. Steven Hawking created his best work while ill. What they had was drive. If you don't have drive, whether you're depressed or not you're still not going to get anywhere as far as getting art out to the public is concerned. And even then, most artists of every stripe never get published and nobody ever sees or hears their work -- the state of the economy determines that. It has always been easier for already known people, for example, to get noticed than the unknown. But depression among famous artists is a cliche it's so common and they persevered and produced their work. So depression doesn't stop everyone from working. Van Gogh sold one painting in his lifetime, but in his worst last years suffering from horrible mental and physical illness he produced an astounding one painting a day. Herman Melville never knew Moby **** became such a respected work -- he died before later writers made his most notable work known to the public. Art is a capricious field to try to make it in for anyone. Depression never stopped me from writing or making music, but it did make it very hard for me to know how to get it before the public. It took a drug that destroyed the part of my brain that is the creative part to do that. So I've just got to disagree about your main premises -- success in art has never made anyone happy, and happiness is irrelevant to success in art.
So you obviously view the pursuit of a work of art to have greater value than your pleasure (which would be drive in this case). But as I just said, it is a moral to feel that way. According to science, morals are false and irrational. The scientific truth would be that you should not feel that way and your pleasure is something that comes first above any amount of will to pursue a work of art because, again, without pleasure, this "will" to pursue is just a thought and nothing more (a dead worthless thought) because pleasure is what gives life to your thoughts and without pleasure, any thought of value you have towards something is dead and worthless.
I'm not sure what else to tell you, Matt. You've been so resistant to the idea of trying to change your thinking. You take a hard line approach and that's that. Not everything is always that cut and dry. You get way hung up on facts and science, when there's a LOT more to humans than that.
Matt, I really think you're just trying to vent here. You can't believe what you're saying, it's just so absolutely false in every way factually. Science has never ever ever concluded that morals are false and irrational. Quite the contrary, without morals there is no possibility for survival of any species. These morals might seem odd but every species has a code of conduct, including humans. You absolutely don't need to invent religion to know that if you kill your neighbor or sleep with your friends' wives trouble will follow, and trouble is best avoided so we don't all kill each other. Atheists aren't amoral, they just derive their moral values from practical thinking rather than religious faith. But the moral values are pretty much the same. That isn't to say we follow these moral values very well, even when we admit they would make things better. Science also doesn't recognize pleasure at all as being important, though it does recognize it as being, well, pleasurable, and no scientist would say we should have a life of all pleasure or not pleasure, they just collect information but surprisingly little factual truth at this point. And everything we do is based on a thought and nothing more. We could all just decide to stop eating and die. But we don't, we still strive and follow the thoughts our brain is producing. It doesn't make any sense, but factual reality doesn't have to make sense, it just has to be understood if you're truly educated in scientific thinking. But then the scientist goes home from the lab and has to decide how to best raise his or her kids and treat one another, so in action scientists are just like anyone else. So given that all this is so obvious, what is it you're really trying to elicit from us?
have you ever just considered trying an anti depressant and getting on with your life??? nobody say's you HAVE to have faith in anything, but there is factual data that people who have faith in SOMETHING are overall happier people.
if you have clinical depression then that is simply a chemical imbalance that can be treated. your outlook on life however; will be much harder to overcome.
i read where you have tried anti anxiety medication, but i am talking about anti depressants.
even then you have to make sure you are on the right kind. for example, i CANNOT take the most popular kind of anti depressants, i have to have the oldest kind...tricyclic.
when i finally found the RIGHT kind, it was as if someone turned on a light switch exactly 6 weeks after starting it. i was absolutely amazed. my energy, my drive was back to the way it was at one time.
you should not just stop and throw your hands in the air because one kind did not help you. keep fighting until you find THE one.
Prestiq is a good anti depressent if your doctor has no clue scince most docters are just working to get a quick pay, all doctors dont know everything, but pristiq has worked for me, you never know unless you try, i mean if you dont shower in the mornings you start to smell right, its the same, as if you dont try something, how do you know if it will work or not unless you give it a go,if you cant find prestiq look it up in google it will give you a basis infomation on it, if you dont trust the name, i dont know what else to say to you, as i suffer from depression, also, cronic depression, have scince i was a child, im 25, now, with a child of my own, so many people suffering from depression all over the world, so many people end up dead because of it, but if you have a strong will, then you can get better, but if you despise change,,,, then you wont you will stay put, in the situation that you are in,