Boy, this thread is really slow. Not like the addiction forum. You get an answer almost before you finish posting.
Please do yourself a big favor and go see a psychiatrist. This move will get you started on your road to wellbeing.
pehaps this is part of the grieving stages as well....
Depression is not always based on one event alone. I read your post a little while ago, and the immediate thought I had was that it is a whole lot of things involved. Life doesn't slow down even if we'd like it to do so. When so many things act in, it easily tangles up and the constant sadness becomes a very loud symptom.
We're not here to diagnose, but to give support. That support is here, all over MedHelp as a whole.
Before you read more of my reply, there is something I'd like you to know about me though: I live in a small village, did work for a funeral parlor for a whole lot of years seeing a little bit of much. Just yesterday I went in and wrote a few hours of work again even if I quit working there a month ago.
The relatives I met had watched their dearly beloved go through a natural process of dying. Many think that such kind of grief is easier than other more traumatic events, but it leaves us in a totally different position. I will absolutely not say that what you're going through is grief alone. You have had your share of life, and a depression can come around for even those who have had no life-turning experiences too.
What I think you should do is to take one step in the direction of finding a professional to talk with, if that is what you desire to do. It is nice to bounce thoughts with someone. Isolation is something that does work for me but not for a long time. It's enough with a day or two, just to sort my thinking. A caring, light hand on the shoulder or a hug does wonders when silence says enough.
I am sorry for the loss of your father and what you go through now.
I don't know if you've read the information MedHelp has about depression, but you can find it by doing a quick search on the sites. Maybe it gives a few ideas?
If you find a good someone to talk with, maybe medications isn't needed? That's what we all hope for, right?
Please check back,
I think Florena gave you some good advice. It would benefit you to find a professional to talk to first...I think it's natural to go through a "depression" after the loss of a parent, and also difficult that he was suffering from a long illness. They had to affect you greatly.
What is also important is that you were an addict. There are issues associated with this that can be discussed with your therapist as well - causes, impact on yourself and family, etc.
If you can find a solution without needing medication, that's a great route to take. Be gentle with yourself right now and also allow yourself to grieve your loss. I am so sorry for you and your family.