5485560 tn?1368665828

How can i live with all of this, am i depressed?

i should probably start that beginning,
3 years old,
me an my dad where walking across a road when a speeding car came round the corner, it would have hit me and killed me but my dad push me out of the way and he got hit instead, ever since that my dad has been mentally ill,
10-12 years old-
my sister it 5 years older than me (her name is Alice) my dad and alice has hated each other for most of my life, they have argued around 3 hours a day for to or 3 years, i even had a wardrobe that i hid in every time the argued, there was a piece of paper which said how many hours ive been in there for,
13 years old-
now i am 13 and my sister has gone to the police saying my dad has orally raped her, Alice has left home, and i was separated from my dad for 6 months, the police have dropped the investigation, so now me and my mum a stuck in the middle, between my dad and my sister, i don't know who is lying and i bet i never will, both my dad and sister lie, so i have never trusted either of them.
i am on anti depression pills
i am off school
if i have any presser i will cry for around 3 hours no stop
i have lost contact will most of my friends, i only have one,
and yes, i have wanted and tried to kill myself

i need help and i'm about to crack
thank you
2 Responses
5039239 tn?1364024671
Hi, sorry to hear you are sad and depressed. Your doctor has given you medicine to help you said, has he also talked to you about counseling, for someone to share your feelings with? That would be helpful for you to have someone to talk to lots. I am sorry you don't have many friends, try joining a youth group of some sort and see if you can meet other young people. What do you like to do for fun and hobbies? I love reading and cooking, baking, also love the outdoors. These interests make me happy, what do you like that makes you happy? Sorry your dad has mental illness, my big brother does also, he goes through some hard times, other times he is seeming fine. You should talk to your doctor or a counselor also about the worries you have with your dad and sister. Take your sister with you if you can to get her help also, what if it is true? Hope everything will be O.K. But, you should go to tell someone. I will be here to talk to you also anytime you want to talk. Have you talked to your doctor or anyone about not wanting to live? I want you to be strong and try to work through these feelings because I care about you and so do so many other people. You must have faith and believe we all care for you and want you to live and be a happy person. Think about happy things that you like to do, do you like kitty's and puppies? I saw the cutest pictures on the computer today, they were so adorable. One was a puppy hugging a teddy bear, and I shared that with my girl. She is 21 years old, but is small and petite, looks 15. She is very nice, I love her and I love all young people. She knows that too. Please let me know how you are feeling, because I care about you being happy and O.K.
Your friend;
Avatar universal
Hi, I hope you are doing ok.  My problem was with everyone too when I was growing up.  Tried to commit suicide when I was 7.  I am not going to write a big thing here.  But, I know what it is like being in a crazy family and feeling yourself slip away with them.  If you want to talk more just friend me and send me a message.  I will help you as much as I can based on my experiences and that I have a degree in psychology.  Hope things are ok and hope to hear from you.
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