I do not know how to get past being sexually abused

[blue932]

My father was a very abusive man, beat on my mom, my brother and my sisters..He was always drunk or high..He would always sneak in my room and touch me and say im gonna tell your mom if u peed to bed...He would make me let him check me....He would make me lay on the bed and then get on top of me thank god my sisters came in..He would alway make me take a bath and he would be the one who had to wash me. I tried to forget about it pretend it didnt happen so i wouldnt be in trouble with my mom..For years i have kept it to myself afraid everyone would hate me and, i finally told my brother and sister thinking i would have more support  but that has never happened...My dad got married and him and his wife have nothing to do with any of his kids and pretty much harassas all of us...I feel i am not good enough for anything or anyone, i lost alot of weight but i get depressed so bad and it seems food is all i have..i dont know what to do with myself anymore..I am always angry and depressed and feeling alone..i need some help please...

[Anneinside]

I also was molested but it wasn't my father. It stays with you but how you feel can improve with therapy. It gives you a place to let it out with a person who is accepting and supportive. Please see a therapist/psychologist.

[mammo]

Hi....I'm so sorry for all you've endured.  You can't forget something this traumatic but you can change how you look at it.  YOU did nothing wrong, your father is the bad guy and yet his life goes on.  Until you get past his abuse you are still his victim.  Your brother and sister may have been sexually abused as well and just can't talk about it.  Nobody is going to hate you for being abused as a child!  Nobody likes a pedaphile...nobody.  They are even hated by immates when they go to prison because to take advantage of a child and hurt them like this is beneath even the the most vile criminal.  I think you need to cut all ties to your dad, he hasn't earned your love and respect!  You're a good and kind person who has so much to offer the world, don't allow your dad's actions to strip you of your self-respect, self esteem and dreams!  You have a lot of anger over what your dad did and you should speak to a therapist to help you get beyond this.  Please get a journal or just a writing pad and start journaling EVERYTHING you are feeling and thinking.  Putting our feelings and thoughts down on paper is a form of release for us and very therapeutic...even if you just toss them away.  But write and write. Also, remind yourself that you did nothing wrong, you are a victim and as a child had no control over his actions.  Now you have all the control and you need to accept this use it.  Your father is not a good person so don't strive to be accepted by him or his new wife...you don't want them around you and when you have children you certainly don't want your dad around them. You're a good person who did nothing wrong, so think of what you want and deserve out of life.  You need to forgive your dad...this doesn't mean what he did was right...or that you will ever speak to him or see him again..it merely means you are laying down the anger and walking away allowing God to deal with him.  You need to rid yourself of the anger because it's eating you up inside and this means your dad still has power over you.  You can make a good life for yourself, the past is over, you had no control over what he did to you and he's the one that is evil and would be hated if anyone found out.  I know this is all easier said than done and that's why I suggest you get into therapy.  But no matter what always remember that you did nothing wrong, your dad is the enemy here, not you. You can't change the past it's over, but you can choose how to live your life from this day forward.  You're in control now and nobody can hurt you like this again.  Your mom would never have been upset with you, nor would anyone be angry with you for what your dad did.  Stop thinking this way so you can start to move on.  We're always here if you want to talk or just vent, and sharing with us is a big step in the right direction.  Please take back your power so you will no longer be his victim. I hope this helps and big hugs to you.