I feel alone

[mjb52]

I have suffered with sever depression in the past, my husband felt like I had been cured.  Now he has just gong through by pass surgery and I am trying my best to be there for him in every way he needs me or wants me to
be and it makes him made that the stress of all this has been really hard on me.  I don't know how to be every
thing for everyone.

[mjb52]

Before when I suffered with depression I spent more time in the hospital then out for almost three years.  It was very sever, I had 25 ECT treatments.  All of this is not an option now when I am the care giver for someone else.  I am on medication.  It has not been enough.  I had to cancel all my appointments when he went into surgery and am having a hard time getting into any of them now.  I called while he was in the hospital, I asked for help, at that time my doctor had left that office and they had not replaced that doctor so they could not order anything for anxiety.  I have felt so alone in all of this.  My husband has been my support all through the past and now he is unable to have any kind of compassion for me. I understand that all he can do is think of himself and need me to be there for him.  But it still is hard, it plays on all my issues, I suffer with intrusive thoughts that not matter what I do I can not control them.  This is due to a head injury that
has caused all this.  Even right now as I wright I am shaking and feel faint.  I know in my head I will get through this and this to will pass, but right now I just don't feel like going on.

[MMahon]

You mentioned suffering from depresession in the past?
How did you cope with it then?  If you sought help and treatment then you should go about doing the same thing now.  You are in a very stressfull situation and want to be there for everyone.  But before you can do that you have to care for yourself.  Because others acquire health issues doesn't mean yours go away.   I'm sure your husband is a source of support for you but tell him that those with severe depression go into remissions maybe but are never cured (in my opinion). Stressful situations are common triggers and he needs to understand that you can not put aside your condition any more then he can and there are no 'bypass' operations to steer your around it's effects, just medications to help you cope.
Get help for yourself and everything else will fall into place.
Take care.