I feel like such a fraud. :(

[butterfly8537]

Hi I'm a 28yr old girl. I've been very sick lately as I have an underactive thyroid. Doctors aren't being very helpful and my grandparents aren't very understanding.

Well, I've had to leave my job last year as I felt too unwell to keep working an 8am to 4pm job full-time. I pretty much left without saying why I took redundancy but that was what I had in mind anyway.

Eventually my doctor diagnosed me properly and I've been taking medication since May this year. It hasn't been easy and although I've felt well initially, now I feel even worse. My medication has been increased due to blood tests coming back abnormal and I haven't been taking my medication as I know the stronger the dose the worse I'll feel.

Things were slowly getting better for a bit - I had a phone call from the practice manager at my doctor's surgery and she thinks my illness should be looked into more. Because she has no clinical experience or knowledge she couldn't refer me herself so I have to go through a doctor at the surgery to do that. I'm not very firm or assertive so this is a huge ask of me.

Because the doctors weren't willing to order a specific blood test for me due to cost, I went to the expense of paying for a private blood test to be done. If they weren't going to do it what other choice did I have? It wasn't cheap either, and I knew the best way of going about it was for my Jobseeker's Allowance to make up for the huge cost. The test cost £83.20 and I get over £70 in Jobseeker's Allowance so I wouldn't miss the leftover £10 or so.

Unfortunately my claim for Jobseeker's Allowance was closed off because I wasn't going to be able to come in for the first meeting. The reason for this was because my boyfriend and I went away on holiday at quite a short notice and my meeting was when I was on holiday. I tried to get through to the main office and although the operator put me through I was then cut off.
I tried calling them again and all I had on the other end was silence. I thought if I called them again when I was away it should still be ok. So I called them a few hours before my meeting time and I still couldn't get through.

I was really upset with my boyfriend over this because he was the one who was so keen on the idea for us to go away for a bit. I'm not really an angry person as I keep it pent up inside. But today I got extremely angry and I started to throw and break things all over the flat because I had to start making a new Jobseeker's claim all over again. It might sound petty to some people for me to get angry over something like this but I was really trying to prove to people that I'm not someone who's lazy and doesn't want to find a job. So for my claim to be closed and gotten rid of really upset me. Does that make sense? I don't think it does to me now since I made a fool out of myself by crying on the bus stop on the way home.

Thanks for any advice. I really want someone to talk to right now.

[beth3070]

Hi Butterfly
how are you doing now. what are your TSH and T4 Levels when last tested. i'm also going through all this, its awful.would be good to swap notes. I have been told it is important to get your TSH below 2.5. it just scares me that the doctors don't really know what they are talking about out there.
ps i take 75mcg of levothyroxine, my TSH is 5.9 and i feel awful

[Cindee56]

So sorry honey you are too young for this...sorry I didn't answer ..people never understand pain...

[butterfly8537]

Hi Cindee, thanks for your reply.

Yes the test was for my thyroid - Free T3. My NHS registered GP wouldn't order the test free of charge and because my friends at support group thought I could be having trouble converting they suggested I get tested for it. It might make the GP sit up and listen to me for once.

I've managed to get myself a jobseeker's appointment for tomorrow except I go to art therapy once a week (for the thyroid problems and also to get out and talk to people) and we were planning on going to an art museum with another group. I didn't want to miss out on going so instead of catching a lift with my art therapist/mentor I have to meet them up there by bus (museum is central as is my jobseeker's appointment).

It's just that everything else is cutting into my recovery and that was why I left my previous job. I had a job for a short time elsewhere but it was so stressful - it was also a much senior job and I no longer worked as part of a team of people, only me. By the time my thyroid was retested the TSH had gotten so high and I put that down to the amount of stress in the job I had only just left. It was a mutual agreement for me to leave as there were so many things I just couldn't get right. I think they were looking for someone with financial experience and I had none of that.

I'm sorry to hear you have chronic pain and thyroid disease. The worst thing about it is that my family can't see how sick I feel but I feel very sick inside. I used to be in chronic pain with my hip (it was resolved through surgery after 5 years of pain!) but I get pain everywhere else. I also get very bad Raynaud's Syndrome which has depressed me too.

Thanks for your reply. :)

xxx

[Cindee56]

I am sorry you are going through this.  Was the test for your thyroid.

You are entitled to get angry.   I hate paperwork myself.

I am a 57 year old in chronic pain. I also,have thyroid disease and many health issues.  I can't walk yet can't get disability...


I hope you feel,better and get things straight.